Charles … just thought I’d let you know we finally sold the business that your grandfather bought over 60 years ago. The transition as been good. The new owner is good. I’m to some degree or other transitioning slowly into retirement. Your mom just had a chapter published in a University of Toronto political science textbook! It will be read by graduate students this Fall. I continue to realize that each day passing means another day closer to seeing you again. Thank you for wonderful memories. See you soon, Dad
Charles...so hard to believe it's been 21 years since you got promoted. The advantages of aging as I've noticed, time seems to go faster so I'll be there to meet with you, but sooner than any of us think. When we all gather in heaven I'll be so glad to introduce you to your two bothers-in-law and sister-in-law, wonderful spouses to your two sisters and brother. Wonderful parents to your four nephews and four nieces. Your mom and I pray reguarly for the salvation of all of these young children to the end, that will all be gathered together in heaven. Thank you for wonderful memories, thank you for the memories of your smile, thank you for your testimony for the Lord Jesus in your life. Thank you for the wonderful relationship you had with both your mom and I and your three siblings. See you soon son. Dad
I still miss you as much as ever!
20 years ago you left us. Your family still has moments of wonderful memories of your life. The odds I will be first of our family to see you again. I cannot imagine the joy of our next hug! Your mom and I pray regularly for your 4 nieces and 4 nephews. It will a joy to introduce you to them. Thank you for your life. The reality of soon seeing you again makes some of my days better.
20 years ago you left us. Your family still has moments of wonderful memories of your life. The odds I will be first of our family to see you again. I cannot imagine the joy of our next hug! Your mom and I pray regularly for your 4 nieces and 4 nephews. It will a joy to introduce you to them. Thank you for your life. The reality of soon seeing you again makes some of my days better.
How has it been 20 years tomorrow, Charles, since I last saw you? April 6 will always be etched in my mind. How has it been 20 years since the Beange family sat together as a family of 6? We've expanded to 16 now! My oldest is 12 and my youngest is 1. I wish the kids could visit with you and show you around our acreage near the Rockies-they'd eagerly include you in all their explorations. I know they'd be thrilled to have you teach them waterskiing at the cottage! I'm loving homeschooling them. I often recall you and me sitting at the dining room table together, working away on schoolwork. Or mom reading aloud in the mornings while we all had to fold clothes-us girls neatly folding, and you and James whipping us with dishcloths or throwing underwear around. I was mortified. And guess what I started making the kids do while I read aloud in the mornings.....yes....fold clothes! HA! I pulled out my memory bin from the garage last weekend-stuff I haven't laid eyes on in 20 years. In it is the sweater I wore to your funeral, all the cards I received after you died, and my journal from those years leading up to and following your death. The agony was almost unbearable at times. I wanted to escape the pain so badly. God is faithful, and sent so many people to support and walk alongside me. He was faithful to comfort me and by His grace, and I can say 20 years later that He truly works out all things for our good and for His glory. I lost two babies-at 14 weeks and 15 weeks-and I never questioned God or doubted His love and good purposes.....because I discovered after your death that He can always be trusted! Thank you for making our family dynamic so fun and energetic. Thank you for showing us how much you loved us. My kids all know about Uncle Charles and recognize your picture.
Happy Birthday Charles... January 6, 2024. Your last birthday with us was 20 years ago! Time goes faster with age and for me every day passing is a day sooner when we meet again. Thank you for wonderful memories. Someday maybe sooner than we think I'll be able to introduce you to your most wonderful nieces and nephews. Six of them know the Lord Jesus as their personal saviour and your Mom and I pray daily for the salvation of little Natalie and Nicholas. I guess when we meet our relationship will be somewhat different because you will have so much to show me, so much to teach me.. I am so looking forward to that day. See you soon Son, Dad.
I miss you, Charles.
My memories of Charles became more vivid as I prepare to move. Opening one of the boxes to see what it contained, I found all of the York Region Homeschool year books. It brought back so many happy memories of our times together and the various outings we did as a group. Your family opened their home to our group so often. Then that tragic day came when we got the news you were gone. As someone else has said, whenever I hear "I Can Only Imagine" I'm immediately transported back to your funeral. And since you've been gone, I've had more sadness in Lois's passing. I wonder if you've chatted together in Heaven. I'm looking forward to the day we will ALL be together again. SOON and VERY SOON.
Nineteen years are going faster with time. Memories of you are continually sweet. Each day that passes is another day closer to seeing you again. I will be with you in heaven to introduce you to your most wonderful nieces and nephews many years from now.
Sweet Charles. Another year; another birthday. 42 years since your joyful birth. My memories of you are as sweet as ever. So glad you are now joyful beyond my understanding. I sometimes hear my favourite song, "I can only imagine", and I think to myself after the tears come that I can't remotely imagine the joy, wonderment, excitement, blessing and peace you experience constantly and forever. You have a new neice Charles and believe it or not her name in Natalie! I will probably be the first of our family to see you so in time I will have lots of family to introduce you to. See you soon son. See you soon. Your so grateful dad. The honored father to have you as a son.
Another day son and you would 41! In a sense another year means I am a year closer to seeing you again. I often imagine our first hug. You were one of the best huggers thatI ever knew. My tears still come but frequently they are refreshing, a blessing and moments away to ponder wonderful memories that bring an attitude of gratefulness. I am constantly encouraged in the unshakable conviction I have that I will see you again. Love you lots and lots son.
One very clear memory I have of Charles revolves around the time he broke his leg. The youth group had come to an event at my parent's house and Charles was there. Due to his broken leg, he was pretty much stuck on the couch for the entire evening. I can still remember the pin or screw that was in his leg!!! I think his wonderful mom had even cut or sewn his track pants to fit around the screw! Though Charles was stuck on the couch, I remember he was never alone with people cycling through to chat and hang out with him there. But I can still see him on the couch with the screw coming out of his leg. Charles, we remember you today, you are not forgotten and we are thankful for the promise that you "dwell in the House of the Lord Forever" (Psalm 23) and that you are alive and well.
How time continues to fly. Dad always said that time goes faster the older you get, and it's true. I've been spending a lot of time at the cottage (we're at 24+ weeks over the past year) with Reid and Blythe as this pandemic saga continues. I've been working on all sorts of projects ... locating and fixing a propane leak, clearing brush for our new trailer site, using the wood splitter, installing a tankless water heater, etc. all by myself! I think about how you tackled everything a confident "What's the worst thing that could happen?" attitude. I've definitely adopted that mindset as well. Only a few, minor injuries so far and nothing has blown up yet. You'd be proud.
Hey bro, It's been a long time since I've written and I desperately wanted to write in December but couldn't find the words. December 21, 2020 marked the point at which you had been gone for as many days as you and I were together: 6104 days. Since that date, the days have been ticking by where you've been physically gone for longer than the time we shared together on earth. So much has happened in the last year! Amanda and I had a son, Nicholas! He's doing great so far, doing all the normal baby things and hitting his developmental milestones. I increasingly frequently find myself wondering if you would have been married and had kids by now. Occasionally, you make an appearance in one of my dreams and nothing seems amiss (although you never seem to have aged a day since I last saw you) – we chat as if you were never gone or we fix something that was broken. How I wish we could actually do that one more time Charles! In 6104 days you had such a huge impact on me and ever since you've been gone, you've continued to have an impact on all of us left behind. Your brother, James
Charles, another year closer to seeing you again. Still dreaming about our next hug! Love, Dad These are some excerpts from what people wrote about Charles at his funeral: “You always had a smile on your face and a joke on your tongue, and always looking for ways to help. You helped sooo many people on sooo many levels, and I think that is your real feather in your cap” “You know, Charles never talked badly about anyone even if he had heard they had said something about him. That is such a rebuke to me.” “Charles, you were the greatest. You were always my friend even when times got crazy. Thank you for your giving and caring spirit. Thanks for always being real. I will miss the nights that we used to cruise around or hang out at each other’s places. I know you’re happy now and I pray that in many ways I will become more like you were in friendship to others. Thank you for your friendship. I will always remember you.” “Your smile lit up a room and your laugh penetrated the darkest day to brighten us all up. Your selflessness and love for life, and everything in it will never be forgotten, you have taught me the greatest lesson in life, to never forget to love, and to show that love always.” “So many fun times. You lit up a room by your smile. I am so blessed to have known you for the few months I did. Thanks for your acceptance of me with open arms. You will be remembered forever.” “Charles has left a mark upon me. His testimony was so encouraging.” “We will always remember your ready smile.” “I so enjoyed Charles’ wry smile and his ability to laugh at himself. I so admired his deepening wisdom, his understanding of himself and his humanity. I so reveled in his hand – earned success.” “I will miss that smile and laid back attitude that made him so likeable.” “Charles was one of the finest young men we have ever met.” “I will always appreciate his sense of humour, his love of JIM CLUB, his loyalty, his giving heart and love for what is right.” “Charles was in several of my classes. His smile and humour brightened the classroom.” “Charles and I were in many classes together. I will miss him for his friendship, humour and real walk with the Lord.” “I will always remember his beautiful smile, quick laugh and amazing walk with God.” “I loved his smile and will always always remember what a wonderful friend he was!”
As I'm listening to KLOVE (a Christian station based in the US) while working from home during this crazy time, 'I Can Only Imagine' comes on. Like always, any time this song comes on I'm reminded at some point during it's beats of Charles. I don't know that we really had a lot of time getting to know Charles at CBC before he passed, but the testimonies shared, the funeral and that song will forever be etched in my mind. Thinking of you all!
Thinking about you a lot this year. The world is a mess right now, and I know if you were here, your unfailing optimism and joy would be a shining light in the darkness we’re facing. You’d be the one making sure your neighbors had groceries, you’d give your last penny to someone who couldn’t pay their rent, and you’d be reaching out to make sure everyone you loved was ok. I’m trying to channel that kindness and big heart every time that I can. Love you and miss you, buddy.
16 years you have been in heaven! The tears still come but they are more sweet than bitter. I often drift off into thoughts of what I envision heaven to be like and I confess I am sort of envious at the thought of the joy, wonderment and awe that is your eternal reality. So glad for you Charles. I long for our first hug when I get to heaven. Your Mom and I pray daily for your soon-to-be 7 nieces and nephews so that you will see them all in heaven! See you soon. son.
Another birthday Charles........#39!!! My memories of your birth are as vivid as if it were yesterday. Your mom and I are doing well. We both still have our time of tears, but in a way that I can't explain they are sweet. Thank you Charles for so many wonderful memories.. I often imagine what our first hug will be like, something I look forward to frequently. In my times of remembering I try (unsuccessfully) to envision the wonderment, awe and joy you are experiencing in your heavenly home. I'll see you soon son. Thank you for the privilege of being your dad. When I look over my life of work,church, school, travel etc what I treasure far, far more is your mom, Julia, Natalie, James and you!!!!!
Thank you to everyone who has posted recently. Paulie and I have been encouraged, blessed ... simply amazed at the love so many have for Charles. I've felt since Charles died, that he knows more about the "goings on" in our present day lives than we might think. I know he is proud of our family. Paulie and I are praying that Charles will see all of his nieces and nephews in heaven!
Charles,
I couldn't find the words yesterday to say everything that's been on my mind. I miss you. So many old memories but no more new memories of you. How have fifteen years already passed by? I remember you teaching me how to ride your motorcycle out in the parking lot of your dorm like it was yesterday.
I still wish you were here to see me and the man I have become and see what I have done since we last talked on the phone so, so many years ago. Last year we had an electrical problem with the boat and I know you would have loved to have been there to help! I figured it out and even used your Snap-On socket set you were so thrilled to have. You would have killed to have seen our ski boat, drive it, and tow each other! It even has a Corvette engine, just like the ski boats you would tell me about wanting to buy "when you were older."
Since I last posted here, I met and married a great chick, Amanda. It sucks knowing I won't be able to introduce her before we get to heaven - you would think she's great! We bought an older house that we're fixing up and while sometimes (who am I kidding?? Often) I could really use your help, I still remember and use the skills you taught me so many years ago. Oh, the fun we could have had! I want to see the man you would have become. I miss you and love you.
Your little brother for always,
James
Dear Charles,
I have never wrote to you! And you probably already know that! To be honest, it feels a little awkward. As James' wife I often feel that I cannot share my thoughts and feelings regarding your life and death. I must be strong for James and our family.
I want to let you know how much I think of you and for the lessons you taught me through James. Most importantly thank you have being an intentional brother and for teaching James to be curious about how things work. James told me that you told him it is important to understand how machinery, vehicles, and technology works. James is now passionate about fixing everything from cars to temperature controllers for my lavender seeds. This lesson has allowed us to save a lot of money and not be as stressed as home owners. He is 99% successful when attempt to fix something and he honours you and feels closest to you when he is fixing motors. Before meeting James, my skills using tools were limited. I am also trying to be more handy as a result of this significant memory.
I often wonder what you would have thought of me. Would you have thought I was the perfect wife for James on days that I am feeling discouraged? I would love to hear why God made me for James over a cup of coffee and macarons. I am positive you have insider information from God!
I often act like your life and death has not affected me. I want to be strong for James . He often feels sad and upset that his memories of you are not as vivid as they were before. He often wants to tell me about you but holds back because he cannot remember every detail. I have a feeling you would tell him he is being silly and to set his eyes on God!
Last, I want to say how happy I am for you that you are in heaven. I was told that your pain and suffering at your end of your life on earth was short and you quickly went to your saviour. I can't wait to experience heaven with you. When I arrive I hope to get one of your signature hugs that you Dad keeps telling me about!
Love,
Amanda Beange
15 years. Much has changed since I was 18. Occasionally, memories of the week after April 6 come into my mind. The planning, people coming and going, driving to places and everything seeming normal, like the worst thing in the world hadn't just happened. It was terrible and such a shock. I had a rough year away at university and then back home while doing my MA. Chemical imbalances and grief are a bad combination. Now, I'm healthy and balanced and happy.
It's hard to imagine you at my age now. You're still an almost-graduate in my mind. We were eagerly waiting for you to come home for the summer and figure out what you were going to do with the rest of your life! I think that's why it's hard to picture you now. What would your career be? Would you have children? Hopefully, you would be living in Toronto's west end. James and Amanda, you and your family and Josh, Reid, Blythe and I would get together a lot of weekends. Julia and Gentry would be home in the summers and the cottage we be even more packed! We bought Josh's dream ski boat a few years ago with James and, every time I drive it, I imagine you sitting in the seat next to me saying how sweet it was and loving to slalom ski behind it. Our family was always close, but we're all true friends now, something most people can't say about their parents or siblings. I count myself very lucky.
See you when it's time.
Nat
I can't believe it been 15 years since Charles died. It feels like another lifetime ago. I wish he could meet my husband and four kids, and see me homeschooling and living where I am. I wish he could know how much fun we all have together at the cottage and how well we siblings get along and enjoy time together. I wish he could see all the nieces and nephews he has!
Julia
Charles, I know you don't know me but in some ways I feel as though we know each other. To be honest, I don't really know how Heaven works. I don't know if you've been able to see the love and grace your whole family has poured out over me. But what I do know is how much they love you. There aren't many days that go by where you don't come into conversation. They do a fine job of making sure you are not forgotten. I've even heard your nieces say Uncle Charles. The more I hear about you the more I wish we could have met - but I am so glad that one day in Heaven your parents will introduce me to you. How exciting!
Your parents, siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews are all a very big blessing in my life. I am so thankful to The Lord for allowing me to know them. I think you would be very proud of them. I am even more thankful for His work on The Cross and what it means for those who believe. It must be amazing Charles. It must be amazing.
Until we meet face to face,
Stephanie
A decade and a half has been added to my life without you in it. The moment I started typing your name in the address line, my eyes welled up. Selfishly, I am still sad to have not lived life with you longer. A lot has happened since our last time together in Greenville 15 years ago. I remember one of our last chats we had about persevering in the faith and how to keep going strong amidst life's distractions. And let me tell you, persevering in the faith has proven tougher than we thought at times. His Grace is sufficient, and He hasn't let me go. I am thankful for the sanctification we shared while walking this earth together and cannot wait to experience glorification with our Lord in His timing.
Your family misses you dearly, but time and grace has allowed much healing. At special moments and occasions, the tears are ever so close to the surface and cannot be held back. What does it feel like to have not shed a tear in a decade and a half? I am so grateful that Jesus left his Holy Spirit to comfort us here. We need Him so much down here! With His aid, your siblings and sibling's spouses and nieces and nephews are tracking well to join you in eternity - your dear parents pray mightily for them all. What does it feel like to have no clocks and no time? Our minds could never grasp that concept here. Remember when we would have late-night chats after looking at the vastness of the stars at the cottage, we were just in awe. I am still in awe, Charles. And just think, I have no idea of the grandeur and joy that you have been a part of over the last 15 years.
I am sure from your vantage, if you could, you would tell us not to make much of you but make much of Christ while we still can on this earth. But every now and then I do think fondly of you and our many memories together. And to think you have already passed from death to life gives me joy to know you are at rest in the His eternal presence.
See you sooner than I know for …
Fifteen years ago tomorrow you left us for heaven Charles. I'm saddened that my memories of you aren't as vivid as they once were. At times I get excited thinking about the joy, wonder, excitement and awe that you live in constantly. The thought of our first hug when I see you again always brings a smile, sometimes a tear, always happiness. Your mom and I are journeying well. We find it a joy to pray for your nieces and nephews. We are praying to end that you will see them all in heaven! See you soon Charles.
Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie & James:
As we approach 15 years since Charles passing, Deb & I want you all to know that there are folks like us behind the scenes who are still hoping and praying that He grant you all strength and help you to find peace still now. Kids, you likely don't remember us well, but we love and care about you and your parents.
I have deeply enjoyed reminiscing over the numerous memories - I believe that I ran into Norm & James at Print '06 - within these pages. I am truly warmed and inspired by the spirit of Charles. I too miss him, am deeply touched by who he was, his impact on others and how the entire Beange family has all positively touched so many others lives.
While reuniting with Charles again will be grand, I believe that now he is with you constantly and you are never alone.
Peace & Love always, The Windler's
Charles, if you were still with us you would turn 38 in two days! The memory of your birth is as vivid in my memory now as it was years ago. I'm sometimes saddened because some of my memories of you are not as sharp as they once were. Thank you for wonderful memories Charles. I read a book recently which was dedicated to a deceased friend of the author which said that his friend "was now singing at the top of his lungs praise to the Lord Jesus" ... and I thought of you. When your mom and I enter heaven you will have so much to teach us, show us, new friends to introduce us to ... the very thought of it blesses me more than any thing else I can imagine. Memories of you still brings tears, but at the same time happiness. As eternity gets closer for me I have a few wishes. I want to finish well. I want to be more grateful and generous. I want to bless your mom increasingly and walk more closely to the Lord. I love you son ... see you soon.
Charles ... another birthday in two days! If you were still with us you would turn 38. My memory of your birth is still very vivid to me. It has been a good year Charles. James, Julia and Natalie are walking with the Lord. You now have a total of 3 nephews and 3 nieces!!!
Well, Charles, James and I met up for our traditional April 6 anniversary dinner on Wednesday. We’ve gotten together every year and it’s very special to me. Some years we talk a lot about you and memories, sometimes we talk about dreams we’ve had that you’re in and sometimes it’s more wondering what you’d be doing now.
I think the best thing for me that came from April 6, 2004 is that I constantly think “this could be the last time I see James ... or Julia ... or Mom and Dad” and that forces me to make sure things are sorted, that we have good relationships and that they know how much I love them. I loved you so much and you knew it so I have no regrets!
Miss you lots and wish you could see my kids!
Another year has passed since you met Jesus!
For me that means another year closer to seeing you again. It's part of the aging process
but I've found that time goes much faster every year. Seeing you again is the thing I look forward the most. Your mom and I are pacing well; looking forward to whatever our Lord has planned. See you soon Charles.
Another birthday Charles! For me, each year goes faster. Of course each passing year is another year closer to seeing you again. I often think what it will like the first time I see you again. You'll be much the same as the last time I saw you ... same smile, same eyes, same voice and I find joy in imagining our first hug! Thank you Charles for so many wonderful, precious memories. Happy birthday Charles ... number 37. I'll see you soon. Dad
Charles, it has been a long time, but it feels like yesterday. Please keep smiling down on all of us. I know I can feel your love and I know I can still hear your guiding voice and your hilarious laughter.
You are still missed, you are still loved, you will be remembered forever.
I can only imagine... surrounded by His Glory.
Miss you brotha.
Remembering Charles with you all today.
Charles....It has been 13 years, tomorrow since you met Jesus! I'm often saddened by the reality that my memories of you aren't as sharp as they used to be which is only natural but never the less it is something I wish wasn't so. In the rare times when I feel down, I let my imagination
envision our meeting in heaven and our first hug! You are going to an uncle again in September. Your mom and are in a good place. As always the LORD is so good. I often remember a phrase I heard recently about heaven....".heaven is a place of infinite discoveries without frustration" It seems strange after all this time with out you that my tears still come. Sometimes at the strangest times, sometimes when I think of you, sometimes when I'm praying. I'll always be grateful for the honor I've had to be your dad for 23 years. I still try to "copy" 3 things that you did faithfully, which were (1) you were friendly (2) you were helpful (3) you were a peace maker. Thank you for your example Charles. I frequently recall something your uncle Roger said when you died........."we'll be along soon Charles"
Tomorrow you turn 36!!!!!!!!!!! I know that in heaven there is no time.......but I still remember your birthday. Charles, a lot of good things happened this year. James married a very sweet lady, Amanda in August.
Your 2 nephews and 2 nieces are wonderful children that are very, very easy to love. Your mom and I are in a good place. The Lord is so good! I miss you so very much. The tears still come often, but that's OK. Thank you Charles for SO many sweet memories, very, very few regrets and that the joy and blessing of being your dad for 23 years. One thing that excites me about the future is the time I get to hug you again. You always gave the best hug of anyone I've ever hugged. I miss you, but I'm so glad that you are in a place that is far more wonderful than I begin to imagine. I read recently that heaven is a place of eternal discovery without frustration. When I get there you will haveso many things to show me. I love you Charles. Your brother and sisters talk about you...good memories....funny stories...they love you and miss you. See you soon.
dad
Wendell DeVries and I were reminiscing about camp. We enjoyed seeing Charles serve the LORD and the time he was blown away by leading a camper to the LORD.
I miss you Charles. When I go to the cottage, when I see a dalmatian, a kid on a motor cycle, Asher smashing electronics apart to see what's inside, I miss you.
Charles........another year has passed since you met Jesus. I guess it is another way of saying I'm another year closer to seeing you! I'm somewhat saddened Charles because with passing time memories of you aren't as sharp as they used to be. I still think of you every day. The tears come less frequently. I miss you. So glad for your joy; for the wonderment that you live in. I'm sometimes envious. Julia, Natalie and James are doing well. Your mom and I are still learning, growing and hoping to finish our journey well. I often think of how proud I am of you. Proud that you were your own person. You were happy in yourself. I frequently remember what uncle Roger said when you died........."we'll be along soon, Charles". For all the bumps of life, I'm increasingly grateful that the Lord Jesus saved you and Natalie, James and Julia. I will "be along soon" Charles. In the context of eternity it will be the blink of an eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was sent this poem today. I thought it was insightful and encouraging.............................
...........Grief......................................................I had my own notion of grief....I thought it was a sad time....That following the death of someone you love.........And you had to push through it....To get to the other side....But I'm learning there is no other side....There is no pushing through...But rather,....There is absorption, an acceptance....And grief is not something you complete: but rather what you endure.................Grief is not a task to finish...........And move on....But an element of yourself....An alteration of your being....Anew way of seeing....A new definition of self.
Another birthday Charles..................35 years since you arrived in our family! It is frequently said that time heals and to a great extent it does, but..............I still miss you every day.
Tears still come at the most random times. Often the tears are refreshing, even encouraging.........sometimes peaceful and blessed. Thank you Charles for the things you taught me.........for the way you lived your life is always an encouragement for me. Another birthday means that I'm another year closer to seeing you! I have to frequently remind myself that you still are........................the same son I knew for 23 years.....you're simply in another place; a place more wonderful than I can begin to imagine! As I've got older I have learned to value somethings more I used to. I remember you as being unpretentious, friendly to everyone and a peace maker...............traits that I am trying to practice myself. Thank you for your example. Your mom and I are in a good place.........hoping to finish well. Love you Charles.....lots and lots!!!!!!!!!!! Dad
Our family had a great summer. Lots of time at the cottage. Josh and James bought a bigger boat so water sking is much better. Pauline water skied on her 65th birthday! Julia and family were with us for 3 weeks. Having 4 grandchildren at the cottage was wonderful. Pauline has a new course to teach this fall. Our business is still surviving. We're becoming more involved at a new church we started to attend last September called Harvest Bible Chapel. Natalie and James also attend. Pauline and I are "in a good place now". The Lord has been as always so good. We're still looking to the future, planning, preparing and hopefullybe more wise, patient and contented. Charles is still frequently in our thoughts. I hope that never changes. For me at least the sad times I have about Charles are evolving into times of profitable reflection, planning, evaluating and hoping.
Hello, Pauline and Norm,
I can't believe that it has been over a decade since Charles went to be with the Lord. I have thought of you both, and your other children, and prayed for you.
I am downsizing in preparation for a move to Vancouver, to be closer to Adam. So today I have been going through photos, and of course there are some of happy home schooling outings we shared. Adam has often spoken of how much he valued Charles's presence in our group.
Please know that you are not forgotten, even as we look forward to reuniting with Charles in heaven one day.
Charles got a new nephew yesterday. Julia is fine........the baby was 9 lbs 10 oz! Julia gave her new son a second name "Charles". Thank you Julia. Pauline went to Calgary last night. Timing could not have been better.
Charles met Jesus 11 years ago yesterday. Another year we missed him. Each anniversary gets a little bit easier. I'm saddened that my memories of him are not as sharp as they used to be. That's the reality of what time does. As always our family is greatly encouraged by the supportive emails and Facebook postings... so thoughtful, so kind. We are blessed. One of Charles' best friends wrote,"11 years ago we lost one of the most amazing people I have ever known ... a great friend ... a staunch supporter...an equilibrium ... Charles Beange. I am the man I am because of his influence ... even today he is my conscience ... as a father and professional. Today and many days throughout the year I am thankful to Norm Beange, Pauline Beange, Julia Stickel, Natalie Roebuck and James Beange for making Charles the awesome person I knew. I miss you dude. I know you are surrounded By His Glory." SO many of our friends have been constantly supportive and encouraging. We are very, very grateful! Thank you all.
It's still strange to me that I never met Charles, because I feel as if I've gotten to know so many bits and pieces of him throughout the 11 years he's now been gone.
I'm remembering and reflecting today on Charles' life and praying for you all, Beange family, as you remember and cherish his memories. I'm sure today is bittersweet--remembering and grieving in new ways.
Much love to you, Mr. and Mrs. Beange, Julia, Natalie, and James.
Love,
Ashley Tiberi
Happy birthday Charles. You arrived in our world January 6, 1981, at 5:00 pm, Toronto General Hospital.All
the many, many wonderful memories I have of you, your birth really stands out!
See you soon Charles!
The following are the words to my favourite song, which was played at Charles' funeral.
"I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me. Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine when that day comes when I find myself standing in the Son. I can only imagine when all I do is forever, forever worship you ... I can only imagine."
Two weeks ago, the nineteen year old son of Jamie Sole died in a road accident in northern Alberta. He died instantly. He knew our Lord Jesus. He was the third of eight children. Please pray for the Sole family, for the parents and seven remaining children. They are in a great deal of pain!
Their address is: Jamie Soles, 12109 Crystal Ridge Road, Grand Prairie, AB., T8V 5C9. You'll find them on the web; "Soles Family Musical Ministry". Again........please pray!
I was saddened to hear of the passing of Charles. He wouldn't remember me. I sat him a few time at the Bindery. To this day I remember his smile and he glglgle. I sit here looking over the water from my cottage window with a heavy heart. God Bless!
Hey Charles,
I was thinking of you today. I miss you. It's been over ten years and there is so much I wish I could share with you. Like, I finally got my act together and married Susan! We've been married 9 years now. We have two great kids- Timmy (3 yrs old) and Molly (1 year old) I had a chance to work on the Space Shuttle for a couple years. With your curiosity for mechanical things, I know you would have loved it! I wish I could have sent you pictures. It was amazing! I've been flying professionally for about 4 years now. I'm about to upgrade to captain. And tomorrow is my 35th birthday. I wish I could celebrate all these things with you. Also, I remember when your parents paid for me to fly up and visit your home in Canada. I had a great time skiing with you and your family and just hanging out. That was so nice! I felt so loved! Thank you!
-Tim
The 10th anniversary of Charles' dying has passed. It wasn't as difficult as I expected. At times I'm saddened because memories of him are fading in my mind. It is only natural, but still it saddens me. Spring always makes life seem better. We're off to the cottage for a long weekend. I'm looking forward to the quiet and rest. For me the best place in the world to sleep is our cottage.
Wow, Charles, it's been a decade since you died. I moved out west, went to grad school, got married, have two wonderful little girls, one of whom looks so much like you! I'm actually thankful that she looks like you because I have reminders of you almost every time she smiles. Sometimes it's bittersweet, though.
You'd be proud of mom and dad-of the way they grieved and stayed committed to each other despite so much grief and are happily married; of Natalie, how she has pressed on through difficulties, married a fabulous guy and now works with dad in the business; and of James, who supported mom and dad a huge deal through their grief, is faithfully going to church and just started a new great job.
It was hard getting used to a new family dynamic since you were generally laughing and cracking jokes. Hearing from your friends about what they appreciated about you has affected the way I live-they said they could be themselves around you and didn't have to wear certain clothes or act a certain way around you, and I am trying to be that kind of friend too.
I miss you and can't wait to see you again.
Julia
"We'll meet again, perhaps today,
The dear ones who have passed away,
Oh wondrous joy to meet them there,
At that blest union in the air."
(author unknown)
Remembering Charles today with you all.
M and J
It's been nearly ten years since you left us Charles. I can't believe how fast yet slowly the days have passed by since then. It's getting to be spring and we'll be headed up to the cottage soon to get everything ready for the year and each time we summerize the boat I think of all the life conversations you and I would have while we (really just you!) prepped the boat engine for the summer. Everything has changed so much since we last talked on the phone in the spring of 2004 when you were down at school and I can't wait to see you again and tell you everything I've learned and done since then Charles!
Your younger brother for always,
James
Thinking of you all and praying at this time. All my love!
Charles died 10 years ago this Sunday, April 6! In one sense for me it seems like ages ago. I'm saddened once in awhile because my memories of Charles are fading. Mostly sweet memories. Pauline and I are OK. We've survived with the help of the Lord, many prayers of the saints and the support of good friends. Two or three times a week I drift off into thoughts of heaven, wondering what Charles is doing, thinking, planning ... thoughts that are always restful, happy and encouraging.
Thank you for visiting, for remembering and caring. Pauline is in Calgary this week visiting Julia and her family. James started a new job this week, which appears to be a great job for him. Natalie works with me at our business and she is being a great help. The Lord continues to be so good!!!
Our family just got back from a long weekend at the cottage. Wonderful time. Great memories. Missing Charles wasn't as hard as it usually is. Our Lord is continually so good to us. I'm grateful. Please pray for Brad who just lost his 24 year old son. I understand some of his pain and he and his family need prayer.
Pauline and I visited Charles' cemetary plot yesterday. I had a couple of tears. We only visited about once a year. We know beyond a shadow of any doubt that Charles in heaven, thinking, doing and remembering. Today is his 33rd birthday! Happy birthday, Charles. Each birthday means we're closer to seeing you again. Until then your mom and I love you lots and lots.
Christmas was good. Our Lord Jesus entered our world in the most humble of circumstance with with the hardships of His thirty year journey and agonizing death, all preplanned. His sacrifice for you and I is infinitely more than I can hope to understand this side of heaven. I suspect that Charles sees and knows more of what his family is thinking and doing than we realize. Thank you Charles for being in "that great cloud of witnesses", referred to in the book of Hebrews. Witnesses see! Than you Charles that when I get to heaven, you'll have a new group of friends to introduce me to.
Recently we were at a wonderful wedding. Most folks there knew the Lord Jesus. A family relative was there all the way from California. I knew through a friend that that the grandmother of the groom had lost her then eighteen year old daughter in a car accident over thirty years ago (she knew the Lord). I introduced myself and said that I knew of the death her daughter and we had lost our son in an accident. I then said that we'll see our children soon. She responded in a flash saying that tomorrow wouldn't be soon enough to see her daughter! I understood. Charles is never very far away from my thoughts. The Lord is good, isn't He. Thanks for visiting.
I've been thinking about Charles a lot lately, likely because I have a daughter who looks just like Charles! Rebekah is only 6 months but looks a lot like Charles' baby pictures. A couple of people have even told me that! One person said that the first time they saw Rebekah, their first thought was "Charles!"
Rebekah has a pretty laugh and her smile lights up her entire face, just like Charles' did! It's bittersweet to have such a constant reminder of Charles.
A number of months ago I had the privilege of talking to a couple who lost their 24 year old daughter. I thought I would share their email response and update to me months later:
"It is now 2/3rds of a year since the Lord called our 24 year old daughter home. We know that you and your family also experienced great loss in life. We so appreciate how you reached out to us when you heard of our loss.
We wanted to get back to you and share that the Lord's promise hold true. He never sends something that He will not give the strength to go through it. This summer has been a sorrowful one as we missed our daughter's presence very keenly. Yet God continues to give comfort and a great peace as we know she is in a much better place. We now have Anna's grave stone and a yellow plant that her girlfriend's family gave us is blooming beautifully there. On the stone is the verse from Philippians 1:21, 'For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.' I love this reminder for Anna's death has meant gain! To be with Christ is far Better! Anna's passing is helping us focus more and more on what is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18, 'We do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.'
We both love to study and then share the truths of God's Word. It is so good to have a purpose in life, even with the sorrow in our hearts. We want to be faithful like Paul was '... that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.' Acts 20:24b
Thank you for being such an encouragement to us and to others who experience deep loss."
So many times, when I am tempted to doubt, I am reminded of this passage by CS Lewis from "A Horse and His Boy."
"I do think," said Shasta, "that I must be the most unfortunate boy that ever lived in the whole world. Everything goes right for everyone except me. Those Narnian Lords and ladies got safe away from Tashbaan; I was left behind. Aravis and Bree and Hwin are all as snug as anything with that old Hermit; of course I was the one who was sent on. King Lune and his people must have got safely into the castle and shut the gates long before Rabadash arrived, but I get left out."
And being very tired and having nothing inside him, he felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks.
What put a stop to all this was a sudden fright. Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him. It was pitch dark and he could see nothing. And the Thing (or Person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls. What he could hear was breathing. His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale, and Shasta got the impression that it was a very large creature. And he had come to notice this breathing so gradually that he had really no idea how long it had been there. It was a horrible shock.
The Thing (unless it was a Person) went on beside him so very quietly that Shasta began to hope he had only imagined it. But just as he was becoming quite sure of it, there suddenly came a deep, rich sigh out the the darkness beside him. That couldn't be imagination! Anyway, he had felt the hot breath of that sigh on his chilly left hand.
...
Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face. "There," it said, "that is not the breath of a ghost. Tell me your sorrows."
Shasta was a little reassured by the breath: so he told how he had never known his real father or mother and had been brought up sternly by the fisherman. And then he told the story of his escape and how they were chased by lions and forced to swim for their lives; and of all their dangers in Tashbaan and about his night among the tombs and how the beasts howled at him out of the desert. And he told about the heat and thirst of their desert journey and how they were almost at their goal when another lion chased them and wounded Aravis. And also, how very long it was since he had had anything to eat.
"I do not call you unfortunate," said the Large Voice.
"Don't you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?" said Shasta.
"There was only one lion," said the Voice.
"What on earth do you mean? I've just told you there were at least two the first night, and–"
"There was only one: but he was swift of foot."
"How do you know?"
"I was the lion." And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. "I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."
"Then it was you who wounded Aravis?"
"It was I."
"But what for?"
"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."
"Who are you?" asked Shasta.
"Myself," said the voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again, "Myself", loud and clear and gay: and then the third time "Myself", whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it.
...
"Was it all a dream?" wondered Shasta. But it couldn't have been a dream for there in the grass before him he saw the deep, large print of the Lion's front right paw.
I heard a story that I wanted to share: When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills if with golf balls. He then asks the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. They agreed with a unanimous "YES". The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The gold balls are the important things - The Lord, family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand if everything else -- the small stuff." he said. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you..." he told them. "So...pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor said, "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
We've been back from the cottage since last Monday. Nat, Josh and James were with us for a three day weekend. Pauline was water skiing again. Josh and Nat are staying for the rest of the week. Our business is just beginning to come out of terrible two month slow period. I haven't seen such a large percentage drop in sales over two months in the forty two years that I have been in this business! We're still here! Still employing people, although a lot fewer than we used to. The Lord is good. He gives encouragement when needed. I'm grateful.
The Lord, as always, continues to be very good! Paulie oversaw the final exam in London, Ontario, last night for the course she has been teaching as an extension course for The University of Western Ontario. It has been a wonderful learning experience for her. We're off to the cottage again. It's a long weekend in Canada. Hopefully, Paulie will stay there for a couple of weeks. Please pray for a couple who know the Lord Jesus, named Sherry and Bobby who recently lost their young daughter. Of course they are in really great pain; greater pain than you can imagine. Pray that they will have grace to cope, grace to maintain their walk with our Lord, grace to stay in their marriage. The Lord does answer pray and I'm so glad!
I'm off to the cottage tonight. Paulie has been alone there for two weeks. I've been reading through the Book of Acts and although I've read it many times, I'm particularly impressed with how much the saints supported each other, prayed for each other, put up with each other, served each other, in an orderly way worked out differences and shared with each other. Last night, I heard a radio message from "In Touch Ministries" (out of Atlanta). The essence of the sermon was that when things go wrong with the saints; quitting isn't the answer. If things don't go your way; quitting isn't the answer. When we're misunderstood, or we can't get our own way; quitting isn't the answer. In fact, the speaker said it is usually wrong to quit, because we are to serve the saints, work with saints, encourage the saints and if possible bless the saints. I plan to be the person who stays the course, who is the mediator, the helper; someone who is a positive influence. The Lord is good. The saints are what they are.
James and I just got back from the cottage. Two days ago Toronto had the biggest rain fall in recorded history! Pauline hopes to spend another two or three weeks at the cottage. She is continuing to teach her online course for the University of Western Ontario. Our dolmation, Chester is keeping her company. I just connected on linkedin with a Bible professor from Bob Jones University who taught Charles and remembers him. I have vivid memories of a wonderful email he sent us after Charles died. His contact brought back warm memories. Please pray for Janet and Clint who lost their daughter to cancer. Three young children have lost their mother and her husband is in great pain. When we met them recently I was saddened mostly because I know how painful their future will be. Thanks for visiting this site.
I'm looking forward to a whole week at the cottage starting tomorrow. Nat and Josh will be there until Monday and James, Julia and her family for the whole week. For some reason I'm becoming more conscious of people in painful circumstances. Someone here at work has ALS disease. A couple we met recently are grieving the death of their daughter. Old friends are getting very tired caring for their disabled daughter. I find that I pray increasingly for hurting people. Our Lord understands. Prayers do work. I don't have enough faith to ask for changed circumstances, but rather I pray for grace to cope. Grace to grow. Grace to know a closer walk with our Lord Jesus. Thanks for visiting.
More excitement! Julia, Gentry and our two adorable grandchildren fly in this afternoon. They drive up to the cottage tomorrow for two weeks. Nat and Josh will be there this weekend. Lord willing, Pauline and I will go up next week for about ten days. We'll see what Kathryn thinks of our rabbits, ducks, quail and Chinchillas. The extension course in Political Science that Pauline is teaching for the University of Western Ontario is going well. It's been a very steep learning curve with a whole lot of new computer technology to learn but Paulie is thriving. I'm really looking forward to cottage time but that's the time I miss Charles the most.
We just got back from a wonderful time in Calgary and BC. I was away for ten days and Pauline was away for twenty six days! Our new grandchild is adorable and very heathy. Her old sister is a bundle of energy and a joy to be with. Julia and family fly to Toronto this Friday and will spend two weeks at the cottage. While away, Pauline and I had opportunity to meet with a couple who lost their adult daughter to cancer. She left behind her husband and three children. I hope we were able to encourage them and give them some insight as to what their future will be like. I felt saddened because I have an idea of how much pain they will experience in the future. We prayed with them. Their daughter knew the Lord Jesus. Of course I thought of Charles and wondered if he's met their daughter in heaven yet. He probably has!
Wonderful news in our family. Julia had another baby last Saturday, May 25 eight pounds, six ounces, very healthy, three hour labour. Rebekah Natalie Genean Stickel. Julia is doing fine. Pauline is there for three weeks to help out. James and I are surviving at home. Pauline and I are SO!!!! grateful for another grandchild. The Lord is good, isn't He!
I haven't posted for awhile because some changes have been made on the web site. I found the following poem to be an encouragement. I found it on the web site www.joniandfriends.com, entitled "She's not gone", written by Henry VanDyke, and it goes:
Iam standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come down to mingle with each other.
Then someone at my side says, "There she goes!"
Gone where?
Gone from my sight....that is all
She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her dimished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, "There she goes!", there are others eyes watching her coming and their voices ready to take up the glad shouts, "Here she comes!"
And that is dying!
This poem so very aptly conveys a blessed truth about the death of a Christian. When a believer in Jesus paases away, that friend is merely gone from sight. He is not dimished; his soul is just as large as ever, if not more so. And just as there are people who, at one's deathbed may say, "He's gone," that is not the final word. For Scripture tells us there is a great cloud of witnesses on the other side of that bed; perhaps all the heavenly hosts who shout, "Here he comes!" I mean, after all, scripture tells us that a host of angels should rejoice when that redeemed sinner comes home? Look, there is celebrating in heaven when our loved ones enter glory---a lot of celebrating! And the pangs of death a person may wrestle through here on earth are, in a way, birth pangs--the pain and groaning of being born and spilled out into heaven's lap when, at that blessed instant, we breathe our last on this side of eternity and inhale the fresh celestial air of heaven.
The Lord certainly is good isn'y He!!!
The anniversary of Charles' dying wasn't as hard this year I'm grateful that it gets easier each year. Good friends who have supported us since the day Charles died took us out to dinner, which has become a tradition I look forward to. Paulie and Natalie were at a shower Saturday and a lot of family members were there. Many made encouraging comments about Charles. Their kindness was greatly appreciated. Some folks said they were praying for us. Thankyou all! As I've frequently written on these postings....The Lord is most surely good!
Thinking and praying for you all. xxoo
This is a hard week for our family. Charles died nine years ago, the day after tommorrow. After all this time, special holidays, Christmas or his birthday aren't very hard, but the anniversary of his death is really hard. Two very dear friends of ours, Mark and Annita wrote the following poem and sent it yesterday.
"You'll see Charles again
Sweet fellowship
No clock to push you home
No shadows to end the talk
Only joy and fullness
Laughter and abandon
The presence of the Spirit
Perfect understanding
We hope
We know the truth
A day is coming
All sorrow forgotten
Only peace and affection
Thank you ever so much dear friends. See you soon Charles. The Lord is good.
Pauline, James Natalie, Josh and I are off to the cottage for the Easter long weekend. Tomorrow we remember the horrific death of our Lord Jesus and Sunday we celebrate His wonderful physical resurrection from the dead. On a few occasions in the decades that I have known the Lord Jesus personnally I've had short lived doubts about a passage of Scripture or a doctrine. When I quickly turn my thoughts to the reality of the physical resurrection of our Lord Jesus my doubts disappear! The apostle Paul told us that if the resurrection wasn't a fact that our faith was empty, foolish, without hope.....useless! The anchor to my faith is the reality of the physical ressurection of the Lord Jesus. It still amazes me that Charles, in heaven sees the resurrected Lord Jesus frequently! Lucky guy. See you soon Charles
I thought the following would be a useful piece to read and ponder about.
"Once upon a point of infinite density, Nothing that was Something went boom. Then there was Everything. Everything eventually named Something 'Matter', the tragic character in our story. Sadly, Matter had no mind, yet this makes
our tale all the more amazing!
Now Matter had only one companion, the hero of our fable, a mysterious stranger of unknown origin called Chance. Chance, though blind, was a brilliant artist. Chance taught mindless Matter to paint, and paint our pupil did. Matter painted a universe from centre to rim on the canvas of a vacuum. And lo, innumerable galaxies emerged filled with infinite wonders, beauty, order and life. The inspired brush strokes of ignorant Matter, guided by the hands of blind Chance, created together a cosmic masterpice. But as Matter and Chance were working away they failed to spot our villain, Time.
Now, time ruins the painting little by little and brags that by chance it's just a matter of time before the canvas is blank and the boom will swoon and Everything, that was Something will be Nothing again. Once more, upon a pointless point of infinite nothingness, with no time for chance to matter anymore."
Our Lord controls it all, everything. from the beginning of creation to the end of time. The thoughts and reasonings of men are too often laughable. Our Lord is Lord of all!
James, Paulie and I spent three days last weekend at the cottage. The peace and quiet is always soothing, there is no place that I've ever found that is so restful. Pauline and I are reading through Psalms and Proverbs. David who the "the man after God's heart", (in spite of his profound sin), was so frequently grateful. Repeatedly. The Proverbs read frequently about wisdom. A part of wisdom that I had never considered before is gratitude. Truly wise people amoung many characteristics are grateful.........and we all have soooooo much to be grateful for! Our Lord most surely is so very, very good!
A wonderful young lady in her mid 30's died of cancer this week. She knew the Lord Jesus. She leaves three young children, Brielle, Chloe and Kove, and her husband Brad. Please pray for grace. Also please pray for her parents, Clint and Janet. Their pain is more than most people can possibly understand. Pray for a regular good night's sleep, strength and peace.
Some times I think that because God is all-wise and all-powerful He will do what he knows is best and that our petitionary prayers to Him really don't make much difference. But am I right? C.S. Lewis did not think so and offers us a radically different way of understanding prayer and its place in our lives:
Petitionary prayer is, nonetheless, both allowed and commanded to us: "Give us our daily bread." And no doubt it raises a theoretical problem. Can we believe God ever really modifies His action in response to the suggestions of men? For infinite wisdom does not need telling what is best, and infinite goodness needs no urging to do it. But neither does God need any of those things that are done by finite agents, whether living or inanimate. He could, if He chose, repair our bodies miraculously without food; or give us food without the aid of farmers, bakers and butchers; or convert the heathen without missionaries. In stead, He allows soils and weather and animals and the muscles, minds, and wills of men to co-operate in the execution of His will. "God," said Pascal,"instituted in order to lend His creatures the dignity of causality." But not only for prayer; whenever we act at all He lends us that dignity. It is not really stranger, nor less strange, that my prayers should affect the course of events than that my other actions should do so. They have not advised or changed God's mind-that is, His over-all purpose. But that purpose will be realized in different ways according to the actions, including the prayers, of His creatures.
For He seems to do nothing of Himself which He can possibly delegate to His creatures. He commands us to do slowly and blunderingly what He could do perfectly and in the twinkling of an eye. He allows us to neglect what He would have us do, or to fail. Perhaps we do not fully realize the problem, so to call it, of enabling finite free wills to co-exist with Omnipotence. It seems to involve at every moment almost a sort of divine abdication. We are not mere recipients or spectators. We are either privileged to share in the game or compelled to collaborate in the work, "to wield our little tridents." Is this amazing process simply Creation going on before our eyes? This is how (no light matter) God makes something_indeed, makes gods-out of nothing.
Lewis reminds us of what the Bible shows us from the beginning to end: Our God is not the distant, detached god of the Deist, but rather a Father who is actively involved with His children and His creation. In His all-encompassing knowledge, wisdom and power, He gives us "the dignity of causality," through which our actions aand our prayers really do "affect the course of events" and serve His ultimate purposes. Yes, God takes our freedom and our prayers seriouly. What we do really does matter. And our prayers, offered in agreement with His Word and Spirit, and in faith, really do make a difference.
Julia and Gentry spent last this in Miami. We are so glad they were wise enough to get away to the sun for awhile. Gentrys' mother Diana looked after our grand daughter Kathryn for the week. Paulie is working steadedly on writting her book. James is settling into his new job at a bank. Our business is "holding steady". at least for awhile. Nat and Josh spent this past long weekend at our cottage. Pauline and I visited with Paulies' two sisters and a brother about four hours from here in the states. The Lord is good!
Pauline and I visited a couple (they know the Lord), who lost their 15 year old son in a drowning accident last July. Their son Kenyon, also knew the Lord. Their grief brought back painful memories. I hope that we were able to encourage them. They have through their grief journey, acted on good advise. We prayed with them and assured them of our prayers on a regular basis. Please pray that our Lord will give them grace and healing.
I flew down to Prince Edward Island last weekend to visit an old friend. We were together for high school at a boarding school in Saskatchewan. My friend Mark has Parkinson disease. I wanted to be sure I saw him again before heaven. Mark is a retired pastor; a friend who has prayed for me frequently. I'll see you in heaven Mark and you'll have a spring in your step, a joyful expression and we'll laugh worship and remember. Thanks for being a friend, thanks for you prayers, thankyou for blessing me!
It is inspiring to see a parent show the love and deication to his child, even after passing. My thoughts are with you and your family. Faith is what makes us who we are.
For today I'm posting a passage of Scripture From Ephesians 3:16-19 (Good News Version).
"I ask God from the wealth of His Glory to give you power through His Spirit to be strong in your inner selves, and I pray that Christ will make His home in your hearts through faith. I pray that you may have roots and foundation in love, so that you, together with all God's people, may have the power to understand how broad and long, how high and deep, is Christ's love. Yes, may you come to know his love - although it can never be fully known - and so be completely filled with the very nature of God.
I read this quote by Malcom Muggeridge, an intellectual giant who came to know the Lord Jesus in his later years. "With Jesus' incarnation, Eternity steps into Time, and Time loses itself in Eternity. Hence Jesus; in the eyes of God, a man, and in the eyes of men, God. It is sublimely simple; a transcendental soap opera going on century after century and touching innumerable hearts; from some bleak, lonely soul seeking a hand to hold when all others have been withdrawn, to vast concourses of joyful believers singing their glorias."
Charles' birthday came and went. We appreciate emails of remembrence. They were thoughtful and very encouraging. We got a long email from an old room mate charles had at university. He is now married and they were asking us for ideas of how to maybe starting homeschooling. We hope to be of help to them. Winter is in full force here in Toronto, although milder than usual. Pauline started teaching on Tuesday and she is going ahead full steam on her book that is writting.
Charles turns thirty two, this Sunday, January 6. His birth is very vivid in my memory. In heaven Charles has good memories of birthdays. In heaven, in the context of eternity there are no birthdays. Happy birthday anyway Charles. See you soon. Your dad who has always been so proud of you.
Our family had a wonderful Christmas this year. Julia and Kathryne have been with us for ten days. Gentry flew here four days ago. We had extended family for a Christmas Eve dinner. Boxing Day (for our American fiends we call the day after Christmas "Boxing Day") was spent two and half hours east of here with about twenty five extended family members. It has been a happy time. Gifts were thoughtful and generous. Of course for me there was always the nagging reminder that Charles was missing. I'm sure he remembers us and thinks about us in a happy way that can only happen in heaven. Pauline and I were saying before going to sleep last night thst we'll recognize him immediately, his smile and voice will be that same, and his hug will make all of our difficult journey more than worth while. Merry Christmas Charles. We love you more than we can express. See you soon.
Lots of good news this week. The therapist told Pauline that the heeling in her two feet that broke last June is progressing very well! James has a job he starts in January. Julia and baby Kathryn arrived Monday night. Gentry is coming Monday. A couple of encouraging things are happening in our business. Christmas is five days away. The Lord most surely is very, very good. Merry, merry Christmas to all our web visitors. Thanks as always for visiting. Thankyou to many of you for your prayers.
Charles' aunt and uncle, Dury and Roger Wingfield sent the following in their Christmas card. I thought it was encouraging.
I'M BLESSED
I"m blessed. I"m so blessed by the love God has shown. He never forsakes me. I am never alone. He's with me in valleys and on mountain tops high. He hears me and holds me whenever I cry.
I'm blessed. I'm so blessed by the mercy He's given. He reached down and placed me on the pathway to Heaven. He took what I offered, a repentant heart, And said to me, "Now, child, I will never depart." I'm blessed. I'm so blessed by His grace and His plan. That created a bridge between Himself and man. He sent Jesus Cjrist down to earth as a babe. That all hearts that will hear and submit will be saved. I am blessed by the fact that He loves me, no doubt, and I know that my God will always be there. Just yield all your past and your present times too and God will be faithful and give life to you; a life full of blessings and then you can say, I'm Blessed. I'm so blessed, 'cause I chose God's right way.'
Pauline had surgery last Thursday and I belive it has accomplished good results. After a year or more of having no smell or taste, both senses
are coming back. Hopefully Paulie will have fewer problems with allergies and asthma. We're both so very, very grateful
Another week of good news! Pauline has been that she will be teaching a Political Science next semester at the University of Toronto. She has been teaching two courses this fall. Having only one course in the spring will allow Paulie time to finish her book which has been contracted with the University of Toronto.
WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!!! Julia is expecting her second baby in about six months! As with their first baby they won't know if the baby is a boy or girl until the arrival date. Pauline and I are wonderfully blessed. The Lord is good.
Pauline arrived home from Calgary, visiting Gentry, Julia and our granddaughter Kathryn. She had a wonderful time. Since Paulie was away, I visited James' church with him for the first time and I came away blessed and encouraged.
I pray for my kids three or four times a day and I count it a privilege that I can. I worry about them; frequently think about them; wonder about them. Of cource I wish them a blessed jouney in life; the Lords' blessing on them. The frequent times I think of Charles, I remember that I don't have to worry about him. A couple a years after Charles died I caught myself praying for him out of habit. I don't anymore. He'll never have bumps in the road. Heaven is his home. I confess there are times when I actually envy him. I'm grateful that our Lord so wonderfully answered prayers in his life. I'll see you soon enough son.
I read recently Ps.46 and 47 and I found the verses to be enormously encouraging. Psalm 46:1 for example, says, "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble". I read it aloud in this way: "God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in my time of trouble." Trouble fefers to all kinds of trouble, including the troubled heart that a grieving person feels. I read Psalm 46:2-6 in this way: "therefore I will not fear, even though the earth is removed, and though the mountains are carried into the midst of the sea:though its waters roar and are troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling. There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, (including Charles who lives there),the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved, and neither will I be moved in my trust and faith." Our Lord is good isn't He!
The psalmist said, "Happy are those who are strong in the Lord, who want above all else want to follow your steps. When they walk through the Valley of Weeping it will become a place of springs where pools of blessing and refreshment collect after rains! They will grow constantly in strength and each of them is invited to meet with the Lord in Zion." (Ps. 84:5-7 TLB). The Psalmist added, "A single day spent in your Temple is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a doorman of the Temple of my God than live in palaces of wickedness. For Jehovah God is our Light and our Protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold from those who walk along his paths." (Ps. 84:10-11 TLB). In our grief and saddness of Charles' dying, our Lord has been gracious, his strength has been enough! With the passing of time I think more frequently about heaven and for that I am glad.
A good friend sent me the following:
Me: God, can I ask you a question?
God: sure.
Me: Promise you won't get mad.
God: I promise.
Me Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today? God: What do you mean? Me: Well, I woke up late. God: Yes Me: My car took forever to start. God: OK. Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait. God: Huummm. Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call. God: All right. Me: And on top of it all, when I got home I just wanted to soak my feet in my
massager and relax, but it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that? God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that. Me: (humbled): OH.... God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me: (ashamed) God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. Me:embarrassed): OK... God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you wouldbecovered. Me: (softly) I see God. God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. Me: I'm sorry God. God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me......in all things, the good amd bad. Me: I will trust you. God: And don't doubt my plan for your day is always better than your plan. Me: I won't God And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God, and I love looking after my children. Norm: The Lord is good beyond our understanding isn't He.
Still more good news! Paulie got her first pay cheque for teaching on the faculty at the University of Toronto. A good first. We're grateful.
It has been another week of good news. Pauline was at the hospital on Monday and after checking out the healing of her two feet that she broke in July said that both feet were healing well. Paulie has been doing regular exercise for her feet and even though she is still on crutches most of the time, she is getting around much, much better. James has been looking a job since graduatation. He has his first job interview today and a phone interview next Tuesday. We're all encouraged. Thanks for visiting our web site. We appreciate emails and comments about these postings.
Its' been a wonderful summer of firsts! Two more this week. Paulie taught her first two classes at the University of Toronto, Scarborough Campus. Tuesday she had a class of sixty, third year students (in the states they are called "juniors"), and yesterday she had trenty five fourth year sudents (in the states they are called seniors). Paulie is learning new computer skills and the electronic use of teachings aids. Our whole family is very, very proud of her. Charles would probably say. "of course my mom can do it. Why should anyone be surprised!"
Last weekend was the long Labour Day weekend. We got a lot of work done on Josh. and Natalies' cabin. Windows are in on all four sides and most of the interior is painted. The kids did a lot of water sking on Monday. Pauline is working long hours this week putting her two courses together that she starts to teach next Tuesday. Just recently two of Charles' friends from South Carolina face booked about a particualar song they both said was a favourite of Charles'. Paulie and I really appreciate hearing from Charles' friends. Please continue to pray for our friends the Van Pelts who lost the fifteen old son in a swimming accident last month. I'm saddened to think of all the pain they have to experience. The Lord is good.
Pauline is alone at the cottage this week with Chester our dog. Paulie is working very hard put together the material for the two univiserity courses that she will start teaching in a couple of weeks. We saw on facebook one of Charles' best friends from university, Tim Hines and his wife Suzanne had their second baby; a boy. Tim is from the deep south. We flew him up to Toronto, during Christmas during Charles' second year at university. Tim and Sue flew to Toronto for Charles' funeral and 3 weeks later they drove hundreds of miles from Florida for Charles' memorial service in South Carolina. Pauline and I will always be grateful!
This seems to be a summer of firsts, a summer of successes and good news. Today Pauline got the wonderful, good news that she has a teaching job at the University of Toronto. Teaching positions are very hard to get because a lot of professors are not retiring, budget cuts, more PHD students graduating.....you can see why we are so surprised and happy. Pauline will be working overtime to prepare for lectures. Her time line until classes start is really short, but I know she's more than up to it! I couldn't be happier for Paulie. I'm very very proud of Paulie as is Julia, Natalie and James and of course Charles. In the book of Hebrews, chapter 12, it describes "a great cloud of wittnesses" in heaven who I believe know more about what is happening down here than we might think. Charles is in that "great host" and when I listen hard I imagine that I can hear him clapping, louder than all the rest! Paulie; thankyou for making us all soooooo very, very proud.
Pauline got the casts off her two broken feet Monday morning after 7 weeks. What a relief!!!!! She is now on crutches for only short walks and I push the wheelchair for longer distances. Life is good isn't it!
Just got back from four days at the cottage. We had a family reunion for my mothers' side of the family at our cottage. There were 36 people. I hadn't seen one of cousins for over forty years. We got exciting news last week. Pauline signed a book contract with the University of British Columbia Press. She will spend about six months writting and them she'll be published! Charles would be so very proud of her.
The Van Pelt family had visitation last night for their son. Waiting in line took two hours. It brought back terribly hard memories of visitation for Charles. Pauline and I chatted with Kentons' parents and two older sisters. They asked us to visit them in their home which we will gladly do in the near future. Please pray for them. Pauline and I know all too well the pain they are facing and It saddens us.
We returned from the cottage after being away 11 days last night. We got a phone call telling us that a couple who we've known for 20 years lost their fifteen year old son named Kenton Van Pelt in a drowning accident. Obviously his parents Michael and Deani are in great pain. Kenton leaves two older sisters Andrea and Meghan. Please pray for this family. Pauline and I know all too well a little bit of what they are experiencing. Pray that they will continue to have regular sleep, grace to cope with each day and hope for tomorrow.
Natalie had two
of her best friends from Taylor University days up to Toronto for 4 dats. Paulie and I had lunch with them Sunday. We met them both the very first day that Natalie arrived on camps and we've been in touch ever since. Pauline is busy preparing a political science speech she's to give at university this fall and then she starts the rewrite of her dissertation to be published in book forn by the University of British Columbia. Paulie and I are off to Anne Arbor. Michigan to visit a street/artists' fair and on Saturday we'll drive to our cottage for all of next week. I drove within almost seeing distance of the cemetary where Charles is buried last week. I considered stopping to visit his head stone that I haven't seen for monthe. but I decided not to. He is not there. He is in heaven. I felt good. Many greiving people get a lot of emotionalsupport by visiting the grave of their loved ones, but for Pauline and I, we rarely visit. That's OK. See you soon Charles.
Our home is saddly quiet. Julia and Kathryn flew home yesterday. Gentry flew home last Sunday. Last night Charles' best friend Andrew Turnbull and his new wife of three months had James, Pauline and I over for dinner. We had a really wonderful time. Charles would very proud of Andrew and I somehow think Charles knows a lot about what is happening in Andrews' life than we might think!
We all had a great time at the cottage. Pauline is struggling to get along with both feet out of commission. Julia drove to Grand Rapids with Kathryn for her yearly "Taylor reunion" with 10 of her classmates, coming back on Sunday. Gentry is her as a tourist in our wonderful city until Sunday. Natalie and Josh are still at the cottage busy building their new cabin. James is job hunting. All is well.....and so is Charles.
Plans often change! We planned to go to the cottage a few days ago, Julia and Kathryn flew in Friday and they went up Saturday. Gentry flew in midnight Friday and he and James went up Saturday morning. But our plans changed. Pauline fell on a step in our yard managing to break three bones in left foot and crack a bone in her right foot!!!! She was operated on Monday night. A plate and two pins
were put in. So farPaulie is becoming very mobile on crutches. It is rather rare that anyone has two feet incapacitated at the same time. Hopefully, if all goes well we'll go to the cottage tomorrow. When we were in the hospital I chatted with a young man who was injured in a motorcycle accident and I teared up thinking about Charles. He is never far from my thoughts,
Looks like another banner week ahead for us! Julis, Gentry and baby Kathryn fly in tomorrow nite. Saturday we all go the cottage. It seems we have a whole trailer full of baby things such as a high chair etc. ect. ect. Most of us will be at the cottage until a week from Monday. We're so very blessed. I'll think often of your Charles, missing you and so glad that the existance you're now in is so unimaginably wonderful.
This week is turning out to be really special. Yesterday James graduated from York University here in Toronto with an M.A. dgree in economics. Pauline got the same degree years ago. Pauline, Natalie and I were at the event. Josh joined us later for a celebration dinner. Tomorrow, believe it or not Pauline and Natalie are both graduating from the University of Toronto. Natalie is receiving her M.A. dgree in Political Science and Pauline is receiving her Phd. also in Political Science. Wow! What a wonderful week. I'm wonderfully blessed. Our Lord has been so good to our family in so many marvelous ways. Charles would have been so very, very proud. As always I miss him. Last night at dinner I felt almost overwhelmed for a couple a minutes remembering his laughter and how much he enjoyed some wonderful dinners with us. Charles is dinning royally in the courts of heavens, knowing joyous laughter and constant happiness. Miss you Charles; lots and lots.
I flew out to Calgary last Saturday and had a wonderful visit with Julia, Gentry and of course baby Kathryn. She's beautiful, very well behaved and happy. I'm blessed. We're leaving for the cottage this afternoon and Josh and Natalie are coming up this evening.
Julia is doing an absolutely marvelous job as a mother. Of course she had a great role model in Pauline. Charles would have been really proud of her. Thanks for visiting us.
". re leaving for the cottage this afternoon
Two weeks ago Paulie, James, Natalie and I had great weekend at the cottage. Josh stayed home to study. Having just the four of us together again brought back good memories. Last Mondy Paulie flew out to Briish Columbis to visit a friend until tomorrow and then she flies to Calgary to see our granddaughter Kathryn. I always have a strange but nice sensation when I visit this site. Seeing 3 or 4 pictures of Charles; forcing myself to slow down and post; a few reflective moments to remember; moments to be grateful.....the Lord is good.....Charles is joyful. Thanks for visiting us.
"What I miss most about Charles was his glow. He loved people and was a great friend.In Mexico he was awesome with the kids! We sure loved him! Our prayers will continue to be with you." Juan and Rachel Curling. This was written to us at Charles' memorial service in Greenville.
"What I miss most about Charles was his glow. He loved people and was a great friend.In Mexico he was awesome with the kids! We sure loved him! Our prayers will continue to be with you." Juan and Rachel Curling. This was written to us at Charles' memorial service in Greenville.
Pauline went of conference in Montreal last Friday. I drove down that night. We spent 2 wonderful days in Montreal and then drove east about 100 miles and stayed at a wonderful bed and breakfast and came home Wednesday. James is actively looking for a job since he graduated. The following are some verses underlined in Charles' Bible, "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religions is worthless." James 1 verses 22-26.
There is an interesting book called "Top Five Regrets of the Dying". Written by a lady who has worked with the dying for many years. She says that the five following themes surfaced again and again.
1: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself and not what others expected of me. Charles probably did this better than I have ever done. He was himself; largely happy with hinself and contended.
2: I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. This is something we all probably wish for and struggle with.
3: I wish I hadn't worked so hard. A number of Charles' friends said that Charles had a knack for making work fun
4: I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Charles worked extra hard at this. He constantly kept in touch with friends. When there was strife he was the one to get some friends together and talk it out.
5: I wish I'd let myself be happier. My my, don't we all feel this at times.
Our Lord Jesus wants all of His children to live true to ourselves, maybe not work so hard, express our feelings more freely, keep in touch
with friends and be happier!
The years have flown by! I can't believe its been 8 years since you went to be with the Lord. It is like I blinked and I am 30. It's been a blur. I had my last exam for my occupational therapy degree today! I worked at the special olympics last week in Clemson, SC. It was a great experience and joy seeing all the children participate in these sports. I know you were a camp counselor you probably would have enjoyed it! I was reminded of all the fun times we had with friends there :). I don't know why everytime I write on your message board I write as if I am having a conversation with you. April is always an odd time for me. My grandparents went to be with the Lord four weeks after you. You thought I had a southern accent! You should have heard them! After, 2004 over a period of time I became angry at God losing a dear friend and two dear grandparents. I decided I was going to try life on my own terms..well that did not go well. I found myself running back as hard and quickly as I could to the Cross. I realized my life just does not work without Jesus and I had to let Him direct my steps. Anyway, your friends still miss you. Gisele is in California and from time to time I still run into Jim and John T. Mrs. Pauline, Mr. Norm, Julia, Natalie, and James I hope you are all doing well and I think of you often.
I turned 65 last Sunday. Ireally appreciate all the "happey birthdays" from a lot of good friends. James, Natalie, Josh and I were at the cottage last wekend. Pauline stayed home to mark university papers. Josh and Natalie started to build a cabin near our cottage. We worked hard for two days and I think that we accomplished a lot. It was a great time working together. Of course being at the cottage meant that I missed Charles a lot more than usual.
Last Saturday we went to one of the most enjoyable weddings I've ever attended. Charles best friend Andrew Turnbull got married! We were pleased that the program under groomsmen was listed "Charles Beange (in memorium)" During the slide presentation of Andrews' life there was two pictures of Charles and at the end of Andrews' speech he mentioned Charles and their friendship. We wish the Lords' richest blessings on our good friend Andrew and his beautiful bride Ghierhol. Thanks for inviting us Andrew. Charles would have approved of your bride!
James, Julia, Natalie, Pauline and I, were greatly encouraged last Friday by the number of kind postings and Face book comments. We.re grateful. Paulie and I spent Good Friday at the cottage. We took yp a whole bin of cards and letters we received after Charles died. We reread some of them. It was hard but good. We now have the bin at home and we plan to
read a few pieces each week.
Remembering my dear friend today and praying for peace and sweet memories for you all. Very few weeks pass without him coming to mind. Praying for peace and a sweet time of remembrance for you all this Easter weekend.
Norm and Pauline, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate decision to take you family on a trip to Nigeria over 13 years ago. By doing so you impacted this MK's life and gave him a great friend through your son. It has been almost 10 years since I last saw him (somehow we missed each other every time I visited) but I still remember how quick we became friends and our many - but too few - conversations. I know you must miss him dearly - especially around this time, but remember and take comfort in the thought that God used him to influence many others. I know I am looking forward to the day when I see him again -- who knows maybe we will find an old motorbike to fix up again. ;)
I will always remember exactly where I was 8 years ago. Thinking of that day I think will always bring a tear to my eye. Charles was the type of guy that could always make you laugh - and I think that's a real tribute to him. Beange family - I'm so happy you have a new "normal" I think and pray for you often.
It is Good Friday...I'm enjoying an hour of solitude while Gentry takes Baby Kathryn to the Good Friday service at church...I found myself sitting at the piano, playing "Beneath the Cross of Jesus", "Hallelujah, What a Savior", "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"...
I am so thankful that because Jesus came to earth and died for our sins and then rose to life again, that Charles has eternal life...that I have eternal life and get to see him again.
Julia
I can't believe it's been so long since Charles' passing. Yesterday a couple songs came on the radio that made me think of him and the Beange family. I'm so lucky to have had the chance to be friends with all of you. We all miss him and his sense of humor. He had an amazing way of communicating strange jokes and everyone loved that about him. And he was one of the more generous people I've ever come across. He'd happily give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Anyways, I know this is a difficult weekend for the Beange family, but you're all in my thoughts and prayers. I love you guys!
Natalie and Josh are in Barbados for a week. James is in the middle of exams. Pauline finishes marking her last papers today. For a short while a least our business has had a couple of good months! Pauline and I are off to the cottage over Easter. Easter; a time of celebration of the death and resurrections of our Lord Jesus. For Charles who is with our Lord Jesus right now he knows in a way that we can't yet know the reality of our Lords' resurrection. Charles and Jesus are together physically in the eternal heaven. I have to admit that I'm envious. Thankyou Charles for giving a greater interest in and greater longing for heaven. I'll be along soon Charles.
Next Friday is Good Friday and the anniversary of Charles dying. The cool weather of spring...Good Friday...memories of Charles' funeral semm all too vivid. The Bible tells us numerous times that God loves us and He most surely does. I was just reading that God not only loves His children but He DELIGHTS in His children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow!
The following are some versed that Charles underlined in his Bible. "The works of His hands are truth and justice; All His precepts are sure, They are upheld forever and ever; They are performed in truth and uprightness. He has sent redemption to His people; He has ordained His covenant forever; Holy and awesome is His name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever. Psalm 111, verses 7 to 10
I just read in a book called "The Grand Weaver" by Ravi Zacharias, a wonderful quotation said by Susanna Wesley a wonderful lady who gave birth to nineteen children, two of
them being the famous John and Charles Wesley. She defined sin as " Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes away your relish for spiritual things; in short, if anything increases the authority and power of the flesh over the Spirit, then that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself"
Met an employee last night in his home. He had worked for us for over 40 years!. He has cancer. He's scared, sick and wondering what his future holds. I prayed with him and his wife. He does not know the Lord in a personel way so it was difficult to know how to pray. I pray that he will come to know the Lord Jesus. Pauline went to Ottawa today for a three day political conference. I miss her already! Charles would be proud of her. Charles loved his mom deeply and he freqently told her that he loved her. I've been reminded lately of my favourite verse; John 8:33-32. "If you abide in my word, you are truly my discples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." Amen
I spent the last 4 days in Ohio; 2 days at a business course and 2 days visting customers. Pauline is almost finished writting a summary of her dissertation to send to number of people. We were reading this morning 1 John ch 3, and I was again impressed with frequent exhortations of the Scriptures for us "to love the brethren"; something I don't do very well. I"m praying for an extra measure of grace to love the brethren. I get too hung up about personalities, differences, opinions, mannerisms; all things that are completely unimportant. I"m praying for grace to be as accepting of people as Charles was. I'm praying for grace to get by all the unimportant and simply accept people for simply who they are! Thankyou Charles for your example.
Julia and our new grandaughter Kathryn left for Calgary after two weeks with us. We miss them both a lot! This past weekend we went up to the cottage with James, Natalie and Josh. The weather was perfect. Our cottage is quite issolated so the peace and stillness is really relaxing. My strongest memories of Charles are memories from the cottage. They're all wonderful memories, but they bring me saddness. I wonder what Charles is doing now. Whatever it is it is wonderful, joyful, exciting more than we can ever imagine. Thankyou Charles for wonderful memories.
Julia and our new grandaughter Kathryn left for Calgary after two weeks with us. We miss them both a lot! This past weekend we went up to the cottage with James, Natalie and Josh. The weather was perfect. Our cottage is quite issolated so the peace and stillness is really relaxing. My strongest memories of Charles are memories from the cottage. They're all wonderful memories, but they bring me saddness. I wonder what Charles is doing now. Whatever it is it is wonderful, joyful, exciting more than we can ever imagine. Thankyou Charles for wonderful memories.
Our granddaughter Kathryn and Julia are still with us. It seems like she is growing daily. They leave for Calgary this Monday. The following are some verses underlined in Charles' Bible. "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence" Psalm 42, verse 5
There is an unusual calm and excitement in our family. James is settled into another semester at York University for an M.A. in economics. Pauline is assisting professors and leading seminars at 2 different campuses at Univerity of Toronto. Chester our Dalmation is healing well from major surgery. Jos and Natalie are coming for dinner tonight. MOST EXCITING HAPPENING is that Julia and our new granddaughter Kathryn are arriving from Calgary for 2 weeks!!!!!!!! We"re looking forward to a wonderful time. Our Lord truly is so very good.
The following is a quote from the "memory books" at Charles' funeral. "Charles was ome of the closest cousins I had. He liked people for who they were, not what they looked like or who they tried to be. Your family has been a great encouragement to me and I love you greatly. Charles is one of the reasons I went to a Christian College, and I don.t regret it! I saw Charles at Bob Jones and I said, if Charles can do it, I can do it too! I will never forget his quick wit, his laugh and his love to work. Spending time with your family at the cottage was one of the highlights of my summer. Charles turned boring hard work into a fun time and brought the family together to get a job done and we had a good time doing it. Just remember...we will see Charles again. Reigen Wingfield Since Charles died Reigen has finished university, is working in the insurance industry and most importantly he is walking with the Lord.
A friend of mine that I first met at boarding school in Saskatchewan
away back in l965 sent me the following Email. My mother-in, "went to be with her Lord tbis afternoon......she had been struggling with some heart challenges. But then a couple of nights ago, she had another fall and they decided to keep her in the hospital due to her laboured breathing. Within two days, they diagnoed her with pneumonia and in the end that ailment was too much for her heart to handle. Her four children and their spouses joined around her bed this morning to say their good-byes.
It was only 6 weks ago that she accepted Christ as her personal Saviour. Our oldest son Matt had the privilege of showing her the way. He and his wife had popped into her place to visit and to let her hold her fist grandchild. At the conclusion, before he prayed for her ongoing healing, he asked her if she would to be with Christ in heaven when her time on earth was done and of course she did. We saw a remarkable change in her during these past few weeks. We have been praying so long for her salvation. My wife was thrilled to bits as you can appreciate.
I was so proud of her the past few days as she spent hour reading scriptues to her mom and praying over her. She ministered to us all through God's Spirit as we gathered around that hospital bed today.
Even though I wasn't around when you were born, your birthday this year means something to me this year. I suppose it's because now that I'm done school and working at the company full-time, I think about what it would be like if we were working here together.
Charles turnes 31 today! Happy birthday my sweet son. Where you are Charles there is no time. Eternity is something I can't understand this side of heaven. I'm glad for your constant joy which is greater and more wonderful than any moments of joy I have ever experienced. Thankyou Charles that throughout my heartache of grieving that you continue to bless me with countless wonderful memories, the constant assurance that heaven is joyfull and that I WILL see you again. Happy birthday my sweet son. I love you.
Christmas was really good this year. Of course we missed Julia. She and the whole Stickle family spent Christmas in B.C. It's hard to believe that this is the 8th Christmas we have spent without Charles. The following is taken from Charles' Funeral record book, "Everyone loves Charles. Any age, religion or sex doesn't matter. Charles has the ability to get to know you and welcome you into his life. Charles will always be a happy memory for me" Eileen Dawe. Eileen worked in our company for over 20 years. She knew Charles as grew up and worked with him for the 7 summers that he worked in our plant.
Christmas is in 3 days. Wow! The Lord Jesus came as a babe because He loves us. Over a lot of years, and the 1000s of times I've thought about the reality that Jesus lived in our world, put up with the abuse, rejection and shme that He allowed Himself to endure and then to top it off He died the most painful way imaginable becsue He loves us and wants a relationship with us leaves me awed, wonderfully blessed and grateful. I wish you the merriest Christmas that you.ve ever had. I read a quote this week that reminded me of Charles. "You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you" Merry Christmas.
We had about 40 people from Pauline's side of the family at pur home for a Christmas party last Saturday. It was a good time time. Strangely enough, even though Decamber is a very slow month for our Company, we're very busy. I'm grateful. Met with an old friend of some 30 years for lunch today. He's hurting, disappointed in himself, regretful and discouraged. He knows the Lord. I prayed with him and was hopefully an encouragement. I can't really related to his pain, but I felt sad for him. Since Charles died I have a greater confidence in the effectiveness of prayer. I'll pray for my friend that he'll redirection in the future and greater peace about the Lord's purposed for him. Thankyou for visting us. I wish you the very merriest of Christmases!
We had about 40 people from Pauline's side of the family at pur home for a Christmas party last Saturday. It was a good time time. Strangely enough, even though Decamber is a very slow month for our Company, we're very busy. I'm grateful. Met with an old friend of some 30 years for lunch today. He's hurting, disappointed in himself, regretful and discouraged. He knows the Lord. I prayed with him and was hopefully an encouragement. I can't really related to his pain, but I felt sad for him. Since Charles died I have a greater confidence in the effectiveness of prayer. I'll pray for my friend that he'll redirection in the future and greater peace about the Lord's purposed for him. Thankyou for visting us. I wish you the very merriest of Christmases!
We've all settled back into our normal routines. No snow in Toronto makes for a long fall. Pauline and I are gearing up For her family's (the Wingfield's} annual Cristmas party at our house. We're expecting between 40 and 50 people. It's always a special time that I look forward to. Julia won't be home for Christmas this. She be home every second year. This will be our 8th Christmas without Charles. It does get easier each year But I still miss him soooooooo very much.
As Julia just posted, our holiday in Alberta was better than I ever imagined. Our family dynamics are different since Charles died, but we have largely healed, memories of Charles although less vivid, are not nearly so painful. Our time together as a family was good. Conversations flowed smoothly. There was laughter. The Lord blessed and encouraged. I'm grateful. The Lord is good; He most certainly is!
It's such a treat to have a week of vacation with my family out here in Banff. We are in the Rockies together. It is so good to play games, visit, etc. It is amazing how God has allowed us to heal since Charles died. I wish he were here to banter with Josh and Gentry...to hold Kathryn and have fun with us all.
I can't help but imagine him laughing and having fun. I picture him here with his blond hair and continual smile. I wonder if he would be married by now and have children, if he would be working for my dad or working elsewhere.
I like it how my family has found a new normal with us three kids, yet still talk about him and bring him along, as it were, with us when we do things as a family.
Julia
Our whole family is excited. Two days from now, Natalie, Josh, Pauline and I are flying to Calgary for 9 days to visit Gentry, Julia and of course baby Kathryn. James who has a heavy school workload is flying out next Wednesday. The kids will be skiing, we'll all do a bit of sight seeing and enjoy each other's company. Please pray for our long time friend Lois Jones. She has stage 4 cancer (there isn't a stage 5). Pauline visited with her for a couple of hours on Tuesday. Her future is difficult to say the least. Please pray fore Lois.
I am so thrilled that you are a grandfather congratulations to you and Pauline and of Course Julia she will be a great mom I know life is for the living and all of you have so much to be thankful for. All the best Joyce
ps send pictures please
WOW! FANTASTIC! AMAZING! Pauline got her Phd. degree last Friday!!!!!!!!!!! It has been long, hard journey. I couldn't possibly be more proud of Paulie. Before Charles died Paulie went back to the University of Toronto to get a Master of Arts degree in Political Science. Paulie got an M.A. degree in Economic after we were married and was accepted in the doctoral degree program. but at the time we wanted to have children. When James was in his last year of homeschooling, Paulie started another Masters in Political Science. When Charles died we had to make a big decision as to whether Paulie should go on for her doctorate. Julie said that since the whole family had thought she should before Charles died, that we should carry on as planned. The rest is history. Since then Paulie took off one year for a medical leave. The average time for a doctorate in Political Science is six and a half years, and that is how long Paulie took. Paulie would like to teach in a university, maybe rewrite her dissertation into a published book, write policy papers for various organizations......whatever comes along. It has been a wonderful, very hard journey. It never crossed my mind that Paulie wouldn't be successful! My mother-in law often said with a twinkle in her eye that I sure married well. Married well I did. Thanks for visiting us
Paulines' mom was buried Saturday. Her funeral was honouring to our Lord Jesus. Six family members gave public testimony to moms' gracious character, her peace making qualities, her constant walk with her Lord Jesus and her discerning spirit. We miss you mom. The Book Hebrews tell us that there "is a great host of witnesses" in heaven watching. I know she was pleased with our good-bye to her. Glad you're home mom. Give charles a hug for us. Tell him we love him, miss him and that we'll be along soon!
Paulines' mom was buried Saturday. Her funeral was honouring to our Lord Jesus. Six family members gave public testimony to moms' gracious character, her peace making qualities, her constant walk with her Lord Jesus and her discerning spirit. We miss you mom. The Book Hebrews tell us that there "is a great host of witnesses" in heaven watching. I know she was pleased with our good-bye to her. Glad you're home mom. Give charles a hug for us. Tell him we love him, miss him and that we'll be along soon!
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
Moms' funeral is the day after tomorrow. I've asked if I can make a few public comments at her funeral. Mom was an absolutely wonderful mother-in-law. I loved her; always appreciated her gracious manner, her love for our Lord Jesus, the way she loved our four children and her kindness. She was a wonderful mother to Pauline. Mom had the gift of discernment. She could spot error at 10 paces every time. We'll miss you mom. I'm sort of envious of your utter joy in heaven. Please tell Charles that we'll be along soon.
I had a baby girl on Monday, October 10 and her name is Kathryn Julia Diana Stickel. Her middle name, "Julia" is after my 94-year old grandma who died on October 31. The day before she died I realized that I wanted to tell her two things: that my baby is named after her, and to ask her to say hi to Charles for me and to let him know that I miss him.
I find it interesting that when I know someone who is going to die that I feel an urgent need to ask them to say hi to Charles for me. I hope that Grandma will fill him in on details about me-tell him that I married a wonderful man, that I live out in Calgary, and that I have a lovely daughter and that I am a mom.
Julia
When you see that smile and the shock of blonde hair coming toward you, say hi, give him a hug. The gourgeous wide expanses of eternity are open to you both. We will see you again Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma and we will smile and dance and sing and shout and....
I had a great time in Calgary last Thursday though Sunday. Our new grandchild Kathryn is absolutely beautiful!!! Julia is doing a great job as a new mother. My mother-in law Julia Wingfield (she's 93) is failing quickly. She knows the Lord Jesus and is heaven bound. We're praying that she will have an extra measure of grace for the end of her journey. Our Lord is very good.
I fly out to Calgary to see our new (and first), grandchild, Kathryn. She has gained weight past her birth weight, is nursing very well and all is well. Please pray for a dear friend of ours, Lois Jones who is very sick and was just told she has very serious cancer. Lois is in her 50,s, a mother of five. Her husband is named Doug. Please pray for grace for the whole family.
WOW. WOW and WOW again!!!!!!!!!! Pauline and I became first time grandparents 7:00 a.m. Monday, October 10 (Canadian Thanksgiving Day). Our new granddaughter is named Kathryn Julia Diane Stickel. Paulie flew out to Calgary Monday night. Kathryn is doing very well. Paulie is staying for 2 weeks to help Julia get into good routine. I fly out next Wednesday for 5 days. We're so very happy that Kathryn is very healthy. The Lord has answered our prayers. We're very grateful.
Julia who was due to give birth last Sunday is still waiting!.. Pauline and I are patiently waiting for "the phone call". Paulie is flying out to Calgary this Monday and I'll go out the following week. Our new puppy "Chester" is a delight. He has a wonderful personality, is very quiet and over the top cute. We're off to the cottage today. James, Natalie and Josh go up tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and time with the kids.
This has been quiet a week for our family. Our seven year old Dalmation, Elvis had to be put down Saturday. But.......just yesterday we got another five month old Dalation named Chester! He's fairly well trained and is already getting mischief which is a special trait of Dalmations. A REALLY wonderful thing happened this week. Pauline has been working on her Phd for six years (which is the average time it takes), and the final stage is an oral defense of the dissertation in front of five professors all of whom have studies the dissertation. The date has been set for November 11. Praise the Lord. I've got all the confidence in the world that Pauline will get a positive response. Lastly, but most importantly Julia is only 2 days away from her official due date for her first baby. All is going well. The excitement is building. Pauline and I are waiting for the phone call announcing that we're suddenly first time grandparents! As always, thankyou for visting us. The Lord IS good, isn't He.
This is another message written in "Charles' memorial directory in South Carolina. Charles was one of the most friendly, compassionate people I have known. I am truly thankful the Lord allowed me the joy of friendship with Charles. His smile and words of wisdom will be missed greatly but never forgotten. Thankyou Charles for all you have taught me about finances and for always being a true friend!" Your friend, Daniel Feiste
Pauline and I were reading the Scriptues this morning in what is called the love chapter of the Bible; probably the best known chapter in the Bible. 1 Corinthians ch 13. I thought of Charles because he didn't do well with rules, appearances, conformity to "the right way to do things" or "religious formality". "If I speak in the tongues and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I Have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and If I have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jalous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. verses 1 - 8
The ebb and flow of life is good. James had his first class at York University yesterday for his M.A. in economics. Pauline flew to New York yesterday for a week to visit friends and relatives. I phoned Julia today in Calgary. Her first baby will be arriving in about 3 weeks!!!!! This is a busy time for our business. I'm very grateful. Thanks for visiting us.
Pauline and I got our the book people signed or wrote notes in at Charles' funeral in Toronto and his memorial in South Carolina. "Charles is one of the few people that I casually met our freshman year who always remembered my name and always stayed in touch. He had a beautiful heart and smile, and I am a better person for having know him. Jessica Roberts
It's been a quiet week. James, Natalie and Josh are going to the cottage this weekend. Pauline and Natalie are going back up again next Wednesday for a few days together. This is another passage that Charles underlined in his Bible, "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a Father has compassion on his children. So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him." Psalm 103, verses 11 - 13.
I'm quoting a letter Charles wrote to his grandparents July 21, 2000 after graduating from high school. "Thank you so much for the $100 you gave me for graduating. I really appreciated it. Trying to decide how to spend a hundred bucks always makes a very stressful situation! I think I'm going to put it towards a fish-finder. Oh, and since I won't take it apart, I should probably get several years of use out of it. Again, thank you very much.
Bryce is one our family, we know him, we care for him. We all spent 20 of more years together all our pain is together and I hope that with the great things that your children do bring you the joy you deserve Norm life is for the living and we all have to hold on to the good graces and be grateful . I was struggling on why I was here but I came to this site and saw that I should be grateful and happy for what I have now.But know I think of you and everyone else all the time and I am grateful to know all of you, but realize that is my people at specilaties and your great family tks jd
James writes his medical school entrance exam this afternoon. He's been studying for 4 months. The entrance standards are very hard. We've been praying that he'll do well. Our company had terriblely sad news recently. One of our best employees who's been with us for over 20 years has Lou Gehrig's Disease. It's always fatal; terribe beyond words. His name is Bryce. Please pray that our Lord will give Bbryce grace, spiritual enlightenment and hope.
Pauline, James and I just got back from 13 great days at the cottage. Pauline was water sking for the first time in a couple of years. Lots of birthdays just past. James turned 24, July 22. Pauline had a birthday July 29 and Julia turned 29, July 31!!!!!! There are no more birthdays in our family until this November. Thanks for visiting us. Our Lord is gracious.
This week has been wonderful! James finished working 2 weeks at camp Miniyowe (www.miniyowe.com), working on the water front and training staff in boatmanship. Julia and Gentry are wrapping an 11 day holiday in Colorado, returning to Calgary this Saturday. PAULINE IS HANDING IN THE FINAL DRAFT OF HER PHD DISSERTATION TODAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!finally!!!!!!!WOW!!!!!!! The end is near. Pauline, James and I are off to the cottage tomorrow for 11 days. Toronro is in the middle of a heat wave that is breaking records so we're really glad to get away to the cottage. Praise the Lord!
Pauline and I just got back from 11 wonderful days at the cottage. Josh and Nat were up a week ago for 3 days. As much as I love the cottage I find that it holds so many memories of Charles (all good) that I find there are times when it gets hard. The cottage was the place where we had frank discussions, laughter, quiet, peace, closeness; a place to grow and appreciate each other more. Thankyou Charles for wonderful memories.
Another few verses underlined by Charles in his Bible. "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, So far has he removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children. So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him." Ps. 103:11-13.
Long weekend coming up. Pauline and I are off to Pittsburgh to celebrate the retiremnt of friends of over 30 years. James will be working at camp Mini yo We for a couple of weeks. Nat and Josh are at the Roebucks' cottage amd summer starts officially tomorrow! Charles did extensive underlining of Ps. 37,(one of my favourite Ps.), "Do not fret because of evildoers, Be not envious toward wrongdoers, For they will wither quickly like the grass And fade like the green herb. Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light And your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him`` versed 1 to 7
I visited Julia in Calgary a week ago. She looked absolutely wonderful in her maternity clothes. She's already 6 months along.....I'll be a grandfather very soon! Julia spent one night in Toronto 2 weeks ago on her way to her Taylor reunion in Ohio. Pauline and I just spent a few days at the cottage. The weather was perfect. This is the first summer that neither Paulie or I didn't experience saddness when we did our yearly cleaning of the "bunkie" where Charles always slept at the cottage. This will be our eighth summer since Charles died and we're still healing. Our lives are ever so slowly getting easier. Our Lord is good and forever faithfull. Thanks for visiting us. There is still a steady number of visitors to this webb sites. We appreciate your visits.
Pauline and I were reading the bible yesterday and both of us were blessed to reread the last 2 verses of the book of Jude. "Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God and Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24-25
We're all familiar with Mark Twain. He wasagodless man but somehow be aquired a lot of wisdom. I've heard it said that he could be the most frequently quoted person. My favourite quote of his is, "Most of the problems in my life never happened". He's right. Most of the things we worry, fuss and stew about etc., etc., etc., often don't happen. Worry has zero value. Our Lord Jesus told not to worry. He talked frequently about "birds of the air", having nests and not worrying. He said, "My peace I give unto you" and "let not your heart be troubled". I'm grateful for peace. I sometimes worry but with His grace I find that I worry less. Just image; in heaven there will be nothing at all to worry about! Absoluley nothing.
I'm rereading "The Purpose Driven Life", I'm quoting pages 38-39. "What is it going to be like in eternity with God? Frankly the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonder and greatness of heaven. It would be like trying to describe the Internet to an ant. It's futile. Words have not been invented that could possibly convey the experience of eternity. The Bible says. "no mere man has ever seen, heard or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord." However, God has given us glimpses of eternity in his Word. We know that right now God is preparing an eternal home for us. In heaven we will be reunited with loved ones who are believers, released from all pain and suffering, rewarded for our faithfulness on earth, and reassigned to do work that we will enjoy doing. We "won't" lie around on clouds with halos playing harps! We will enjoy unbroken fellowship with God, and He will enjoy for an unlimited, endless forever. One day Jesus will say, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world" Charles is the lucky one; he's already there!
It's been awhile since I quoted some verses underlined in Charles' Bible. I really value time I spend reading Bible portions he underlined. The times I spend reading I sense a very quietening feeling, a feeling of warmth and peace. Memories seem more vivid and alive. "You, O Lord will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me, For evils beyond number have surrounded me; my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to see; They are more numerous than the hairs of my head, And my heart has failed me." Psalm 40:11-12
Pauline and I support a non-profit ministry in Toronto called "Sanctuary", that Charles was familiar with. Charles first met the director when he was only 9. Sanctuary ministers to street people. Many of their "family" have emotional or addiction problems that Sanctuary works with everyday. Recently one of the staff wrote, "an old friend of mine died in the alleyway between Sanctuary and the condo next door. Marcel was a fixture, and widely beloved one, in our community for many years. He had lived through, and lived out, most of the very worst parts of North America aboriginal experience, but there was a sweetness in him that seemed to grow in the last few years, even as disease and alcoholism throttled the life out of him. On the morning of Marcel's passing, a constant drizzle chilled the city. A couple of his street brothers, found him semi-conscious in the park beside Sanctuary. Reasonably, they assumed that he'd had too much to drink and was sleeping it off. Knowing that his health was precarious, they lifted him up and carried him to more protected surroundings. In the alleyway, they tucked him tenderly into an alcove and propped a piece of plywood over him to keep him dry and warm as possibe. They were shocked to find him dead when they checked on him a couple of hours later. Despite the frightening recognition that his passing was a prophesy of their own likely demise, those two men and a handful of Marcel's other street brothers showed up to carry him again, one last time, a few days later. Sober, dignified, they presented him to the Creator, and laid his body to rest. No member of Marcel's birth family was present, but more than a few in our community regarded him, as I did, as a brother, and perhaps even as a kind of elder of the clan. Thinking back on it now, it reminds me a little of the scene described in the book Hebrews, in which 'big brother' Jesus presents his people to the Father: " Both the one who makes men holy and those who are holy are the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers. He says, "I will declare your name to my brothers..." See you in heaven Marcel!
please pray for Jenny and Heather(they're sisters), who are very close friends of Julia. They're from a family of 8 kids (three are strill teenagers). Their dad died unexpectedly of a heart attack. He knew the Lord. Please pray for the 8 siblings and their mom. On the home front, Julia and Gentry flew to Hawaii yesterday. They Emailed pictures of their arrival this morning. James just started a 2 hour daily, 6 week Course at York University to prep for this summers' Medical School entrance exam. As always, thanks for visiting us. The Lord is good isn't He!
It's been a very good week. I had a birthday on Good Friday and my family gave me some very creative, thoughtful gifts (no socks or ties). Pauline and I and James, Josh and Natalie spent 3 wonderful days at our cottage. The weather was great, add a little bit of kayaking,chain sawing and walks and it was a perfect weekend. Sunday morning (Easter Sunday), Julie felt her baby kick for the first time when she was sitting in church.
We're very proud of James. He's been accepted at 2 Canadian graduate schools for a M.A. degree in Economics. He applied too late for most grad schools but I'm confident he would have been accepted at all of them. One grad school that accepted him said "The quality of your application is so high, we are delighted to offer you a place in the program" and the "Graduate Admissions Committee is very impressed with your academic qualifications." Lord willing James will be living at home next year and attending York University here in Toronto. We couldn't be more proud of you son!
I just got back from China! I was only out of the country for 6 days to visit a graphic arts trade show. I felt rather tall for a few days. It brought back memories of trade show visits with Charles in Toronto, Chicago, Dallas and Germany. I fellowshipped in a wonderfully alive church on Sunday. There were about 60 people; lots of kids, really good music and a very solid "teaching sermon". Hotel, cab rides, meals ect. were about half the cost of Toronto prices. I'm glad I went; even more glad to be home.
Our stories are written here while his is written there, much like the difference between here and Narnia.
We might walk through the door to his story scarcely moments after it has begun and he'll smile and say, "I know you."
We may enter it at just the moment he is remembering us and we'll hear, "I was just thinking about you. We'll smile.
Either way, it will be like yesterday and tomorrow wrapped up into one moment for eternity will stretch out in all directions. We will walk out into it away from the door we entered and what separated us will not be remembered again.
Beloved Norm & Pauline,
Just wanted to let you know that we do pray for you..Our comfort is in Him; and as we see our salvation became closer than we first believed, we are reminded that we will see Him face to face and we will see our forelovedones.. Ever Blessings;
Amal & sohir Gendi
Thankyou sooooo much to so many friends who have face booked us, phoned, Emailed and visited us today. Our day has been a little bit easier this year. Pauline took some flowers to Charles' grave today and listened to the video of charles on this website for the first time in many months. Our tears help us heal. It never dawned on me that tears would come so freely after 7 years. Thankyou for your encouragement and prayers.
I recently had a dream about Charles. I had a dream about six years ago, he appeared with grey-ish colored skin and we were in a home before a funeral, and I went up to him and said that he wasn't supposed to be there because we were there for his funeral, that he was supposed to be dead.
He has appeared in my dreams since then, but in very minor ways and aren't very memorable. Yet i the dream last month, I saw him exactly how he looked when I visited him last-shaggy-ish hair, khaki pants, a green shirt, and black sandals. I didn't see much of his face but he was hugging a friend and comforting them over the death of someone. It was such a brief dream but was so vivid. It woke me up in the middle of the night and I cried.
Today is seven years since he died. The first few years I felt such accute pain yet that has significantly subsided over the years.
It hurts that my life is radically different than when he knew me and that he doesn't know my life now....whatever the reason, I find that when I do think about him (not too often) it feels really painful.
I was cleaning the bathroom last week and for some reason I thought of something he and I did when we were young...we thought it was the coolest prank. We set an alarm clock in my parent's room and put it under my mom's sewing machine cover so they wouldn't be able to find it and turn it off...we set it for the MIDDLE of the night...how daring...we figured they would be fast asleep by 10 pm because that felt like the middle of the night for 7 year olds. We were about 7 and 8...we put sand in their bed, etc. While I was recalling this and chuckling about it, I thought "I need to ask Charles how old we were" and then in a split second realized that I couldn't ask him.
I stil have moments like that when I think of asking him something...it's weird how I know he has been dead for almost seven years yet my mind still thinks he's alive at times.
Julia
Missing you today my dear friend. I know heaven is a better place because they have you.
Norm, Pauline and family: praying for you all today. I think about you often and talk about Charles and the impact he had in my life frequently.
Hello Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie and James... Just to let you know that we are thinking and praying for you at this time....xoxo Dave and Ruth
Pauline flew to Chicago today to host a "Poster Presentation" at a large Political Science conference. James just got accepted at York University for an M.A. degree in economics. We're all excited for him. The following poem made me think of Charles......Beautiful memories, Are wonderful things. They last till the longest day. They never wear out, They never get lost, And can never be given away. To some you may be forgotten, To others a part of the past; But to us who loved and lost you, Your memory will always last.....Thankyou Charles for so many wonderful memories.
This posting is on of my biggest WOWS I"ve ever posted. Absolutely wonderful....exciting....wow, wow and wow!!!!!!! I've gotten official permission to announce to the world that our Julia is going to have a baby!!!!!!!! Charles would be very excited. Pauline and I are sort of still pinching ourselves. This is the best news we've had in ages. The excitement is wonderful.
Pauline and I just got back from "DUBAI" of all places. Wow-over the top-unbelievable-amazing!!!!! We went to a graphic arts trade. The shopping was wonderful. On a scale of 1 to 10, the best mall I was ever in got 5...Dubai got 10! The size was 2 or 3 bigger than I've ever visited. There are dozens of new, extemely modern, tall buildings. We saw the tallest in the world and it is more than 50% taller than the nest tallest building. The cars all seem new. The food was good and affordable. Of course I often thought of Charles and how much he would have enjoyed being there but then remembered than everything in heaven far outshines anything here on earth. He wouldn't want to come back if he could. Thanks for visiting us.
I stumbled upon this site while searching for information about printing and bookbinding. I am overwhelmed with emotion: What a beautiful way to reconcile celebration of a life lived with the pain of a life lost! I have never met you, nor Charles, but through this site it is evident that he was well loved, and is well missed. What an honour! Norm & Pauline: I thank you for sharing your experience with Charles, with love, with grief, ... with me. May God continue to bless you and your family. Sincerely, Cherie.
Charles wrote this letter to his grandparents (Paulines' mom and dad) a year before he died. "Thankyou for the money you gave me for Christmas and my birthday. I always need money! Sorry this letter took so long. I really don't have an excuse this time. You know what they say, hard work sometimes pays off later, but procrastination always pays off now! Maybe that's why I don't have straight A's. I think Pauline and I heard "procrastination quote" at least 100 times and it always made us both want to smile and frown at the same time. Thanks for the memory Charles.
Charles wrote this letter to his grandparents (Paulines' mom and dad) a year before he died. "Thankyou for the money you gave me for Christmas and my birthday. I always need money! Sorry this letter took so long. I really don't have an excuse this time. You know what they say, hard work sometimes pays off later, but procrastination always pays off now! Maybe that's why I don't have straight A's. I think Pauline and I heard "procrastination quote" at least 100 times and it always made us both want to smile and frown at the same time. Thanks for the memory Charles.
A week ago we went to our cottage for 3 days. Pauline and James went a day early to get things warmed up. Josh, Natalie and went up the next day. Beautiful weather was our fortune. We did some snow shoeing, tried some luckless ice fishing, ate a lot of really great food and had a really wonderful time. Many of my best memories are of our cottage. Even when Charles was in his twenties there was tears in his eyes when we left the cottage. "For now we see in mirrow dimly, but then face to face Now I know in part, then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love" 1 Cor. 13:12-13. Charles now understands fully, sees things that we can't see, is experiencing love that we can't know on earth and knows a constant sense of joy that we can't even begin to imagine!
February is ending and March beginning - the time when the weather is in limbo, for a brief moment cresting the hill dividing winter and spring.
We emerge hopeful and we wait expectant at the first warm day, listening for the meltwater in the drains and ditches, smelling the damp soil rising up. Beauty calls our names.
The promise of renewed life is held out to us today. There is much more now than we ever imagined. We will know even more then.
Charles heard the call of beauty, went out to find it and lived the now. Eternal life wasn't in some nebulous faraway; it was here, now as well as then. From here forward, more life in everything. Nothing secular. All sacred.
His brother and sisters live the eternal now. His father and mother smile at the future.... now.
I wrote awhile ago a quote was memorable as much because of who wrote it as to what it said. "Don't cry because it's over, Smile because if happened" Dr. Suess! Charles would agree.
Toronto is COLD today! Pauline is in Ottawa (350 miles from here), presenting some of her dissertation findings at a Political Science Conference. Natalie is working on her M.A. at the University of Toronto, but she manages to work with me here at the office 2 or 3 days a week. I'm constantly giving her projects and she somehow manages to get them all done with excellence. It is truly a special time this year having both James and Natalie here working with me. Pauline and I finished reading the book of Hebrews this week and I was again encouraged by some verses that I've read scores of times. "Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in you that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen" Hebrews 13, verses 20 & 21.
Pauline is storming ahead on her Phd. dissertation and is making amazing progress! She hopes to have all the chapters written by next Wednesday and then she's off to Ottawa to present as portion of her findings at a Political Science conference. Our business is way, way down. Partly because of the economy, but mostly because of the Web causing the substantual reduction in the entire printing market. Another underlined passage from Charles' Bible; Psalm 33:18 to 21, reads as follows, "Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him. On those who hope for His loving kindness. To deliver their soul from death and to keep them in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord. He is our help and our sheild. For our heart rejoices in Him, Because we trust in His holy name. Thankyou Charles for the reminder!
Pauline and I were reading the scriptures this morning in the Book of Hebrews and there was two verses underlined by Charles in chapter 4, verses 15 & 16 which read as follows, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." It dawned on me that Charles has already seen the throne of grace in a physical sense. Until we get to heaven we can only draw near to it in a spiritual sense. I hope that each of us who are part of the body of Christ, draw near to the throne of grace frequently.
Often a poem or quote becomes famous as much because of who said it as to the actual words of the quote or poem. I thought the following poem was really good; but even better when you realize who wrote it.
SORROW
In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all,
And it often comes with bitter agony.
Perfect relief is not possible,
Except with time.
You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better.
But this is not true.
You are sure to be happy again.
Knowing this,
truly believing it,
Will make you less miserable now.
I have had enough experience to make this statement.
Abraham Lincoln
I got teary yesterday morning. Pauline and I were reading the scripture in 1 Timothy 6:15-16, this will be made manifest at the proper time by the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no man has ever seen or can see." It dawned on me that Charles has already seen "unapproachable light", has seen our Lord Jesus, and lives in the reality of eternal life. Lucky guy!
If Charles was still with us he would 30 years old today! Happy Birthday Charles. My memories of a rushed run to the hospital, followed by an extremely fast deliver and all the joys of being a new father are as clear in my memory as if it was yesterday. I still miss you as much as always. I'm so glad that heaven is more wonderful than anyone can possibly image...glad you're so joyful son.
If Charles was still with us he would 30 years old today! Happy Birthday Charles. My memories of a rushed run to the hospital, followed by an extremely fast deliver and all the joys of being a new father are as clear in my memory as if it was yesterday. I still miss you as much as always. I'm so glad that heaven is more wonderful than anyone can possibly image...glad you're so joyful son.
This was one the best Christmas' I can remember! Julia and Gentry flew in the days before Christmas. All the kids were here for Christmas morning. Christmas turkey was on boxing day. Monday, Pualie's brother Roger and family were here for dinner. Tuesday 7 of us went to Buffalo shopping. Wednesday Julia and Gentry went with us two hours east of here to visit Liz and Len Palmer. We came back today and had friends oveer for dinner. Tomorrow we visit Paulie`s mom (she is 92) and then drop Julia and Gentry off at the airport. It is 7 years ago since our last Christmas with Charles. It still seems strange how much I remember of it. New Years Eve tomorrow night will be quiet for Pauline and I. Happy New Year to some good friends who read this. We`re another year closer to the return of our Lord Jesus. I hope that in the coming year we`ll become ( in spite of our sometimes too busy lives), a little more patient, a little more tender hearted, a little more gracious, more generous, more transparent.....a little more like our Lord Jesus. Happy New Year!
I've beeb rather pensive for a couple of weeks. For some reason I've thought a lot about a number of friends (some I've known for 45 years). who have spent sometimes decades in pain, loss or paralysed. A highschool friends has Parkinson. Alady I was in school with in l969, was in a car accident in 1971 and as been paralysed ever since.. She's had 19 operations! Another friend from high schools days is going blind and his son who has MS is in constant pain. A lady I've know for 28 years has Parkinson and has constant pain. A couple our age that we've known for 20 years have an adult daughter who because of an accident is in a wheel chair with brain damage. Life for her is more difficult than I can begin to even imagine....her parents are in a constantly in a state of exhaustion. All of these friends know and walk with the Lord. I rarely hear them complain. They bless me by their gracious acceptance of their pain. They are all probably better people than I am because I don't feel I could cope as well as they do. When I have a bad few hours because of Charles I think of them; pray for them and thank my Lord for their friendship and example. The "WHY" for me is that my Lord is good. His grace is sufficient for all my pain. Merry Christmas friends. Jesus is Lord...He's coming soon!
wow--Chistmas is only 12 days away! The Wingfield annual Christmas party was held Saturday night. About 40 people came; 4 generations; ages from 4 months to 92 year. It was a happy time. James is off this week to visit Taylor and spend time with friends in Cicago. Pauline is still bravely ploughing ahead on her disseration writing and I'm still trying to figure out how to run the business we own. These are some verses underlinded in Charles' Bible, "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set brfore us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart
wow--Chistmas is only 12 days away! The Wingfield annual Christmas party was held Saturday night. About 40 people came; 4 generations; ages from 4 months to 92 year. It was a happy time. James is off this week to visit Taylor and spend time with friends in Cicago. Pauline is still bravely ploughing ahead on her disseration writing and I'm still trying to figure out how to run the business we own. These are some verses underlinded in Charles' Bible, "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set brfore us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart
All is well at the beange household. Nat and Josh are up at the cottage for 4 days. I'm glad it snowed today! Christmas is only 19 days away. The following are verses that Charles underlined in his Bible. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my (anxious) thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me. And lead me in the everlasting way." Psalm 139, verses 23 & 24.
The summer Charles was 9 we took him to a wonderful Christian camp for boys new James Town, New York. He went back for 2 to 4 weeks for I think about 10 summers. Their web site is "www.boysjimclub.org". Each summer they have a different theme song. Their song for summer '10, was "You Are God Alone" which reads as follows; "You are not a god created by human hands....You are not a god dependent on any mortal man...You are not a god in need of anything we can give...You are od alone, from before time began...You were on your throne...You are God alone...And right now, in the good times & bad...You are on Your throne, You are God alone...Unchangeable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable, That's what you are...You're the only God whose power none contend...You're the only God whose name & praise will never end...You're the only God who's worthy of everything we can give...You are God-That's just the way it is (by Billy Foote)
Please pray for Pauline's mother Julia Wingfield. Greiving the loss of her husband this month is extremely hard. Just this weekend she told one of her children that her biggest wish was to be in heaven with "dad Wingfield".
The visitation friday nite and funeral Saturday for dad Wingfield was hard, but good. We saw a lot of old friends. It was a time of celebration, tears and smiles. One of the high points was Julia coming home. She is off to Ottawa this morning for a conference. I'm amazed at how many times we have been able to see Julia in the past year. Christmas is around the corner and she'll be home again!
The visitation for dad Wingfield will be this Friday evening November 12th, 7:00 to 9:00 at the Egan Funeral Home in Bolton, www.egamfuneralhome.com, The funeral will be at the same place the next day 11:00.
I can hardly believe it! Natalie has a birthday today.....she turns 25! It doesn't seem so long ago that I was able to tell paulie, "we've got a little girl named Natalie". During the years we were privileged to have Natalie in our home she was consistently our happy, contented child. She rarely caused us concern. I vividly remember the wonderful day that she accepted the Lord Jesus as her own saviour. I remember her saying to Paulie in the days following that she felt so happy. Natalie has always made me proud of her. Watching her journey since Charles died has been hard for me because it has been so hard for her. Her greiving has been so difficult becaude Natalie loved Charles so wonderfully. Thankyou Natalie for blessing so often, in so many ways.
Two walk by the river, eternity their only limit
Only a brief time since they chuckled
Departed, unexpected, had to go.
Fond reunion theirs
Ours will be
Till then
last week James became older than Charles when he died. To me it seems in an emotional sense to be another stage in my journey sine Charles died. Havine James home this summer is the summer that Charles never came home. Pauline had a tragedy on Saturday..her dad Allan Wingfield died. He didn't know he was dying..He simply took his last breath, suffered no pain and met Jesus. He and Charles are having a wonderful reunion. Since Charles died, I've been "taken back", almost awed by the amount of pain both mon and dad experienced since Charles died! My niece Amy beange visited us for the weekend from Winnipeg. She is a wonderful, young Christian woman. I"m proud to be her uncle
we had andrew turnbull over for dinner last night. He was probably the best friend that Charles had. Our family time during thanksgiving at the cottage was wonderful; good weather, good food and family that love each other! James is settling into a much needed function at our new company, "anstey bookbinding". He has a rather long to-do list such as computerizing certain processes, suppler and customer lists, helping to integrate 2 computer systems and stremline the production flow and learn the manufacturing process. The new business is stimulating me. New products, new markets, new proceses, new machines...I'm sort of "in my glory"! The Lord is good. The future is bright. Thanks for visting us. Thanks for encouragement.
canadian thanksgiving is this weekend and we're all very excited! Natalie and Josh are going up to our cottage tomorrow (thursday, oct 7}. Julia and Gentry fly home Friday and we'll drive up Saturday morning. We'll have the usual turkey, a few barbeques, take the boat out for a last run and enjoy being with each other. Natalie and Josh will be there until Tuesday and the rest of us will come back Wednesday. Julia and Gentry are staying until Sunday. Please pray for 29 year old mother in British Columbia who has know the Lord for only 2 years. Two months ago her husband murdered her 5 year old daughter. Sara has another daughter aged 11. The husband is in jail. Obviously Sara is in great pain! Pray that friends will be able to support appropriately with wisdom and kindness. For any parent to survive the death of a murdered child is harder than what Pauline and I had to cope with. Please pray for Sara
Thank you to those of you who post here, share memories, and stay in touch with my family-it means a great deal.
I have good memories of Charles, and every once in awhile I enjoy remembering them. It's hard picturing Charles at the stage that lots of his friends are in now (getting married, having children) and it makes me miss him more, so rather, I think about his laugh, the quirky things he liked to do, and just how he added lots of laughter and fun to our family.
Julia
If I think of human beings I have known and of my own life, such as it is, I cannot recall any case of pain which did not on the whole enrich life.
MALCOLM MUGGERIDGE
Mark Neidig who posted on July 7th was one of Charles best friends during their 4 years at university. On the way to university to South Carolina and on the way back, Charles stopped in at Mark’s home in Indiana on a few occasions. When I’ve visited the university each semester I usually had dinner with Charles and Mark.
Pauline turned 60 on July 29th. Brian Stapley the long time director of JIM CLUB; a summer camp for leadership for boys that Charles attended for about 8 summers, wrote the following in a card to her “in keeping with this years theme at JIM’S CLUB”- “Your Grace Still Amazes Me”, I share this creation nugget – every one of the 100 trillion cells in our body has access to the brain. In the body of Christ, each of us has direct contact with Christ Himself, the Head.
Pauline and I just bought another company called Anstey Book Binding. We’re quite excited about it. We will be moving it into our main factory next month. There will be a lot of work marrying the 2 very different company “cultures”! Please check out their website www.ansteybookbinding.com
It doesn’t seem possible that six years have gone by since Charles’s passing. There is not a week that goes by that I do not think of him. His life and death have impacted me more than I realized back in 2004. His death had such a profound impact on me as a 21 year-old university student that I still feel it to this day. Whatever feelings I had of my own invincibility vanished. Taking life “for granted” is no longer an option; I began to appreciate everything. Living for the moment began to seem ridiculous and the reality of eternity became personal.
In hindsight I now realize his life has had as much of, if not more of, an impact than his death. His life showed me an authenticity and enduring optimism that was unequaled by anyone I knew. He always told me I was too “up tight” and needed to “chill.” Some days after work or a tense meeting, I’m reminded of him telling me this! His authenticity added a richness to his life and the lives of those around him I have never seen before or since. I hope I can one day be as authentic as he was. Norm, on the website you used words like “unpretentious, creative, friendly and tenderhearted” to describe Charles. You could not have described him better.
I believe that if Charles was put on this earth for no other reason than to affect me, than his life was a success. It gives me great comfort to know that this sentiment is not mine alone, but is shared by hundreds of other people. His memorial services were a testament to this. I cannot possibly imagine the grief Charles’s passing has caused your family and can only pray and hope that this note and others like it further establish what you already know about the impact Charles had on this world. The grace and courage your family has shown while enduring the trial of his passing is an inspiration to us all.
With much love and affection,
Mark Neidig
“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy…” (Phil. 1:34)
I’ve posted 43 pictures of James graduation from Taylor University last month on the second page under “photos”. Pauline and I and your two sisters are proud of you James! James graduated with high honours. He worked hard majoring in one of the harder disciplines; economics (the same discipline his mother majored in).
Thank you James for making us all so proud!
From time to time I wander back through the woods to this quiet spot. It is a place of looking back and looking forward. It is a place to reflect on the present and the weight and influence our lives should have for those around us. His did.
As a boy, I ran down one side of a chain link fence as my friend ran down the other. We would leap and high five over the fence every few steps.
As we race down this side of the fence, it seems we are touched by a memory, or is it a vision, of a man, not old, and a boy, not young, racing us to where the fence ends. Once there, we flop down on our backs in the grass, laughing, catching our breath, smiling into a blue sky, knowing we are home.
Eternity whispers to our hearts in unexpected ways and moments. Listen....
This past weekend we all attended James graduation from Taylor University. Gentry and Julia flew in from Calgary. We all had a good time. The ceremony was uplifting. We met a number of James friends and parents. We had dinner Saturday night with Natalie and James favourite professor. James like his mother, majored in economics. He will be studying all this summer at home on his medical school entrance exam. In Lord willing he will be off to medical school- September 2011.
Charles would’ve been very proud of his “little” brother; just as proud as Pauline and I are as of James!
Congratulations James; congratulations on getting such high marks in a very hard discipline.
So, its been some time since i have been here. I am getting married in July. Just wanted to stop by and say thank you Charles for showing me the qualities of a man who had such stronng integrity and a Godly man. :) I think about you often. Funnily enough my fiance is an avid hockey fan(Minnesota Wild) I know I know not a Maple Leafs fan! No ones perfect right :) I remember how you would complain that the papers down here never covered hockey in the sports section lol. He complains about it too, only a paragraph and football gets a whole page :)
I’m intrigued to see that this website still gets about 150 visits a month! Some of these posting generate emails of a personal nature. We’re grateful! THANKS!
I’m driving to Taylor University to visit James tomorrow. Elvis is going with me. I’m looking forward to a good time.
Hi Norm,
Facebook tells me it's your birthday today so I wanted to send you warm wishes from BC. I have been thinking about you all this month quite a bit and I cannot believe it is already 6 years. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope this month of reflection brings beautiful memories of much laughter with Charles while he was here on this side of heaven.
Sincerely,
Anna Marie
Sincere thank you to wonderful friends that sent bouquets, cards, emails, facebooked and phoned for the anniversary of Charles death April 6th. Thank you for continuing your support and prayers.
Pauline just got back from visiting James at Taylor University. They had a good time together…good dinners; time with James friends. Pauline came back refreshed and encouraged.
Charles died 6 years ago today. Actually it was on a Tuesday. (We had leap year a couple of years ago). I’m saddened on occasion to realize my memories of Charles aren’t as vivid as they use to be. Pauline and I have changed since Charles died. I can’t say that I’m a better person; just different. I’m grateful to Charles and its because of his example that I like to think I’ve become a little less pretentious, a little kinder, a little more patient, a bit more of a peace maker and maybe a little more tender hearted. Of course I’m extremely bias; Charles’ life exemplified these characteristic in unusual ways.
Thanks Charles for wonderful memories. Thank you for blessing and stretching your mom and I in so many ways!
Tonight, Gentry and I are ordering pizza for dinner. When Charles and Chris Langford were in highschool, they ordered two large pizzas most Friday nights and they each ate one!! So Gentry and I are ordering Pizza Pizza tonight (what they usually ordered).
I love you, Charles!
Julia
Thinking and praying for you all.
Please pray about the following…
March 25, was a sad day for the Taylor University. Taylor University housekeeping employee Amy Nose died during a domestic dispute at a home on North St., north of the Taylor campus. Also dead is her husband Paul “Bryon” Nose.
Amy joined the Taylor housekeeping staff in 2001; prior to that, she was an employee in the Taylor food service. During her time of service, she worked in Bergwall and English residence halls. She was well loved by students, her co-workers, staff and faculty alike.
Amy’s mother, Jackie Jackson, was a longtime member of the dining services staff at the Taylor grille. Amy had two daughters, age 20 and 15. The older daughter, Christanna “Christy” Nose, is a sophomore at Taylor majoring in Social Work.
The Taylor student body, faculty and staff members joined together at 10:00 a.m., Friday, in the Rediger Chapel/Auditorium for a time of prayer, worship and a celebration of Amy’s life.
Pauline and I read the scripture together each morning and we often read from Charles Bible. I’m often intrigued to ponder why he underlined the verses that he did. He did extensive underlining in many of the Psalm; occasionally in the rest of the Old Testament and extensively in the Epistles.
Psalm 31 verses 19, 20 & 22
19 How great is Your “goodness,
Which You have stored up
for those who fear You,
Which You have wrought
for those who take
refuge in You,
Before the sons of men!
20 You hide them in the
“secret place of Your
presence from the
conspiracies of man;
You keep them secretly in
a shelter from the
strife of tongues.
22 As for me, “I said in my
alarm,
“I am cut off from before
Your eyes”;
Nevertheless You heard
the voice of my
supplications
When I cried to You
I’ve posted a few pictures of Charles headstone. His headstone is only minutes from our home out in the country beside a maple tree in Ontario’s oldest cemetery. The cemetery is located on the east side of Kennedy about half way between Major Mackenzie and 16th Avenue across the street from a church named St. Philips On The Hill. There’s a lane into the cemetery off of Kennedy that curves into the cemetery that comes out onto Kennedy Ave like a “U” shape.
Charles headstone oddly enough is in the oldest cemetery in Ontario surrounded by headstones about 150 years old. His headstone is about 6 headstones off a cemetery road, at the south-east side of the loop.
Pauline and I know that Charles is in heaven but on occasions we find it helpful to visit his headstone; sometimes with tears; sometimes not; always with wonderful memories.
These pictures are on the lower right hand corner of the PHOTO page.
I’ve just posted a number of pictures of Julia and Gentry’s 2nd wedding reception in Calgary on New Years Eve. They had the reception for a number of friends and families who couldn’t come to the wedding. It was a pleasure for Pauline and I to meet a number of relatives and friends of Gentry. About 100 people attended. It was a very happy time!
When you click “photos” click the lower lift picture of “Julia and Gentry’s New…” when you click the picture you will notice on the upper right portion of the screen…click “slideshow” and all the pictures will fill the screen and rotate themselves.
I’ve added a section under “Photos” for Julia’s wedding pictures. There are 297 pictures! Hope you enjoy.
Happy 29th Birthday, Charles.
Love,
Julia
happy birthday son. It was 29 years ago that you entered our world to bless us so wonderfully. If you were here I know that you would grow to love your 2 new brothers inlaw. They both love your sisters wonderfully; they both love our Lord and both will make wonderful fathers to your neices and nephews! Thankyou Charles for wonderful memories that grow sweeter with time. Thankyou for making me increasingly proud of you as I learn to better understand you; to better appreciate who you are and love you increasingly. Thankyou Charles for helping to make me a better person.
With two family weddings and Christmas this year, it's hard not to think about Charles and miss him. At my wedding, we had one of Charles' best friends, Andrew Turnbull, as an usher. It was special to have him represent Charles that day.
Next April it will be 6 years, and in January he would have turned 29. Now that I've moved into Gentry's home, I wish Charles were here to meet my husband and to come over for dinner. I hope he knows how much I think about him and miss him.
Julia’s wedding to Gentry last Saturday was marvelous. Tim Volkman and his wife Sue flew from Calgary to perform the wedding ceremony at our home church, Community Bible Church on north Bathrust St in Aurora (www.cbcaurora.org). The reception was held 5 minutes north at a golf club called CLUBLINK (www.clublink.ca).
The MC’s were Rosemary and Norlee Flaaten a couple from Calgary who Julia lived with the past 9 months. Julia’s grandfather Al Wingfield (who turns 93 on Christmas day) gave a wonderful speech. Each of Julia’s bridesmaid were from a different chapters of her life. One from her childhood from Markham Chapel, one from our home school group, one from Taylor University, another from Julia’s MA program in Calgary and a friend from her 4 years in Calgary.
We had visitors from the states of Washington, Texas, Pennsylvania, New York, Michigan, Indiana and the provinces of British Columbia and Alberta. Pauline and I hosted about 35 people at our home for breakfast the following morning. The wedding was everything Pauline and I hope for. Julia and Gentry are spending their honeymoon in Jamaica! In a week or so I’ll post a lot of wedding pictures.
I’ve just posted a couple of hundred pictures of Natalie’s wedding. Click on “photos”…scroll to the bottom right corner under November 2009…click the picture of Natalie and Josh…on the upper right hand of the following screen click “slideshow” and you will see all the pictures in full screen size, changing every few seconds. I’ll be adding a few more pictures in the next few days.
There’s only 12 more days till Julia’s wedding Saturday November 21st! Plans are moving along very well. I’m excited. Thank you for visiting us.
Our second daughter Natalie got married last week to a fine young man named Josh Roebuck. The wedding was held at camp Mini-Yo-We (www.miniyowe.com) where three of our kids have been involved for a few summers. It was a beautiful day and the coloured leaves were gorgeous. Natalie was beautiful (being her dad I’m biased). The reception was held 15minutes away (2 hours North of Toronto) at the Trillium Resort (www.trilliumresort.com). We had guests come from Lethbridge, Alberta, Chicago, Wisconsin, Pittsburgh, Washing D.C, Sudbury, Manitoulin Island, Thunder Bay, Winnipeg and Calgary. In a week or so I’ll post a number of pictures of Natalie’s wedding on this website.
September is gone. Wedding arrangements have been almost a daily thing. Pauline and Natalie have been up north twice where her wedding is to be held working out details. This past weekend Julia flew home arriving mid-night Friday. There was a shower for her Saturday morning, another shower for Natalie Sunday. Julia flew home Sunday night. Friends have been very generous, supportive and encouraging- we are grateful.
Dates of October 17th for Natalie’s wedding and November 21st for Julia are fast approaching. I’m excited!
Thank you for visiting Charles website.
July and August have been wonderful months for our family. First week of July, Pauline visited Julia in Calgary to help shop for wedding dresses etc…etc…etc… Gentry and Julia were in Ontario later for a few days. Three days filled with wedding arrangements, showers and then we all (with Gentry and Josh) spent a week at our cottage. Julia had 9 of her friends stay at our house (they came from 5 different states) for their annual Taylor University reunion. Pauline and I were privileged to spend a couple of days with them. I don’t ever recall hearing so much wonderful laughing, giggling, excitement and joy.
James spent the month of July in Africa at a place that we visited as a family in 1998. He was doing a medical internship to help him decide if he wants to be a doctor. He saw medical stuff in Africa that he couldn’t see in North America, such as watching a baby being born, and watching fracture-smashed bones being pieced together. He was actually allowed to insert needles and drain fluid from a man’s lungs. James left two weeks ago for Taylor for a week of special seminars that he needed to take to help him in his position of vice-president of finance in Taylor’s Student Council.
Two weeks ago Josh and Natalie were in Switzerland visiting Josh’s parents. Last week Natalie flew to Calgary to visit with Julia and then she and Josh were at a wedding in Vancouver last Saturday. Last weekend Pauline and I drove to Taylor to help James move into his new apartment. For the first 3 years, all students of Taylor live in a dorm and for the last year they move off campus into private apartments.
We’re excited about Natalie’s wedding- October 17th and Julia’s- November 21st.
Our business has turned a corner. The rise of the Canadian dollar is hurting us, prices in the Toronto market are dropping, but with management changes, reduced overhead, software development and hard work we’re doing better than we have since last year.
Thank you for visiting with us. Thank you for e-mails, your love, support and prayers. Since Charles died our journey is gradually getting easier. I’m grateful.
Congrats please post pictures, you are so lucky mine are now 9 and 15 years old and I hope you have grand children soon all my best to Julia an Natalie it is so great
Joyce Dean
With two weddings (Natalie- October 17th and Julia- November) life is getting busy. Last week Natalie flew to Washington for a few days for a “mini reunion” with her Taylor friends. This week Pauline and I spent 3 days in Baltimore. Pauline did an interview with a professor for her doctoral dissertation. We’ve visited a couple of plants getting information for some software that we’re customizing for our company’s estimating department. Next Tuesday Pauline flies out to Calgary to spend some time with Julia to shop for wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses etc…etc…etc…etc…
Thanks for visiting us.
Our family is unusually excited…Julia got engaged Saturday night to Gentry!!!!! The wedding is to be in November (in Toronto)…a month after Natalie and Josh’s wedding in October. We’ve all got happy, excited, blessed and wonderful times ahead!
Last Friday (June 13th, 2009) James flew to Nigeria-Africa for a medical internship. James has to decide soon as to whether or not he wants to be a doctor or an economist.
Our family visited the hospital James will be visiting, 11 years ago, so he has a fairly good idea of what is ahead.
If you’ll check the heading (2 places over) from the message board heading and click on “Photo” you’ll see I added 250 pictures of our trip in 1998. You might be able to see some geography, culture and living situation that James will be in.
Instructions to see “slideshow” are as follows:
Click “Photos”
Click on the picture of “Africa”
Click on the large picture on the left
On the right you will see a small picture
Beside the picture on the right is the word “item”
Click the white box below
Enjoy!
This is an e-mail copy from Julia.
I just heard that a girl I counseled at camp Li-Lo-Li died. I counseled her when she was about 15 and she was 21 when she died. Very gorgeous and had a superb voice. This is the posted on facebook-Ben Price posted it. He’s about 22 and is a Jim Clubber-he knew Charles and roomed with James for 3 summers.
To everyone: there’s a young girl named Andrea Morton, someone who though the years has become very close to myself and my family. Some of you know her, some of you don’t. She came down with mono over Easter, and somehow because of that she got an infection in her body, which they initially thought was pneumonia. But it made her condition worse so last Thursday she admitted herself into the hospital. It got worse to the point where she could barely breathe so they sedated her so they could try and fight the pneumonia. But sometime in getting the ventilator in her, her heart stopped. They got her heart going again, and mercy fighted her to Syracuse for better trained physicians.
Sunday seemed to be improving things, to the point that they decided to take off the sedative and paralytic medicines, so she could begin to do basic things like breathe on her own.
Monday they did tests to see what she was able to do on her own, and they found out she had no brain activity. They tested again in the afternoon and it was the same situation. Tuesday morning the neurologist and their team came in and did the same yet more in depth testing and declared her brain dead. Later Tuesday night there were some signs that showed that if there were to be organs donated, they would have to be done soon. Which leads us to right now. Pray for the Morton family and everyone involved as we/they mourn for the loss of a beautiful talented 21-year-old girl. I am gonna miss you Andrea, and so will so many people. You were truly a gift, why are you being taken so early? Only God knows. But I know the nest words you are going to hear are:
“Andrea, welcome home Good and Faithful Servant, come and be with me”
And like Matt said to you in the hospital, you’ll be up there showing those angels how to really sing and worship!
God is good all the time. And all the time, God is good.
James arrived home from Taylor on Saturday after a number of exhausting exams. Pauline and Natalie spent a good quiet week at our cottage this month. Josh Roebuck and I went up for a 4-day weekend to be with them. Pauline is in Ottawa all of this week, where she is presenting a paper at a “Political Science Conference.” She hopes to do 6 or more interviews for her dissertation while she’s there.
Exciting news in the Beange family! Our daughter Natalie got engaged Thursday night to a lucky young man named Josh Roebuck!!!!! We’re all excited, extremely pleased and looking forward to a fall wedding.
Josh graduated from Trinity Western University in Vancouver last spring with a degree in business. He and Natalie met at camp MiniYoWe where they each worked for the last few summers.
I visited James at Taylor University last weekend. He’s counting the days until he’s finished (his junior year) May 21. Julia is in the second month of her new job and she’s enjoying it. Natalie can see the end of her political science studies for her M.A degree. She’s been away at Taylor for 4 years so we’re enjoying a “Toronto spring season” she hasn’t seen for 4 years.
Our business took a serious nose-dive for 4 months but things are a little bit better. However…. I think the long tern is not good!
Please pray for a family that lost their four-year-old son to cancer;
Dean and Stevie stairs
104 Main St Lewis Porte
Newfoundland
A06 3A0
The anniversary of Charles death this year (April 6th) was more difficult than it has been 3 or 4 years. Our family is extremely grateful for the numbers of bouquets sent, emails, visits, condolences and encouragements.
Thank you for your on-going caring and prayers.
The great epic story of which we are a part is one of discovery, loss and renewal. Treasure, once lost, is found. Branches, broken off, are grafted back in. Prodigals, gone to far off lands, return. All of those journeys leave their mark upon our lives. It is the sure hope of renewal that draws us up to our feet and envigors our journey forward along ancient paths.
As we grow, the roots and branches of our lives intertwine with others and we enjoy the nourishment, confidence and even protection that intimacy affords. Loss leaves us reaching for a specific fellowship we crave. It makes us linger at a crossroads longer, pondering our direction. The cold wind of challenge penetrates more than we remember.
But something lifts our heads, points the way and strengthens our steps. This side of the veil, our part in His epic story unfolds. Not far beyond that veil, Charles plays his part in the epic. Our separate realities are not parallel; they are convergent.
We step out from our crossroad, we reach without fear, we are filled again with wonder. Less tears now, more light, more strength, more confident smiles. A moment approaches. A future opens.
Renewal.
Our hope is sure
Love
TCW, ELW, LTW, SLW, EGW
Half a decade has elapsed. Why does that seem so long and yet so short at the same time? Long because its been so many weekends of not having my dear friend to call and see where we were going to hang out, yet short because I vividly remember that whole week. A week of barely sleeping. A week of innumerous tissues. A week of questions. A week of prayer. A week of reflection. Half a decade ago, that week stood still for me.
In 5 years, there have been multitudes of moments and decisions that I think of Charles. What would he have thought and how would have he swayed my decisions and impacted them. The question is not if, but simply how. Because for years, I brought many issues (seeming huge at the time) to the conversation table before him. We laughed, deliberated, argued, but eventually came to a resolution we could agree upon. As I sit here in Saskatchewan, I think of the many roads I have personally been on and pause to wonder if I would be sitting here today had Charles still been gracing this world.
These are the things that I think about. Since there are so many variables in life, with each year, filling in the blanks and creating hypotheticals becomes less and less accurate and therefore more and more difficult to ponder. And as I discussed briefly with Norm and Pauline the other day, its just painful to wonder where he would be living and if he would have a girlfriend or wife or kids, where he would be working and more importantly which car he would be driving and modifying.
Charles was loved because he was loveable in a funny way. He would not hesitate to ask questions and once he became an ‘expert’ he would gladly share that information with whomever would listen. But he would do so in a way that was not demeaning or in a showoff sort of way. Every time I see a group of ‘tricked out’ cars, I think of those many summer nights of cruising around Markham looking for cars that others were displaying. We would always have a ‘double double’ in hand and I would walk around looking at the paint jobs and listening to the sound systems and he would delicately position himself under the car to see what really made the car special in his eyes. He would always compliment the guys on what they had done and ask them how long it had taken them and how fast they got it up to. Occasionally, he would walk away and let me know that the vehicle was done cheaply but didn’t have the heart to tell the guy. I wouldn’t really know because it was shiny and that impressed ME enough.
Charles has left and indelible mark in my life. There were moments in Australia I shared with him while trying to surf and in New Zealand while just staring at the beautiful horizon and at the oil rigs (he would have been so interested in all the mechanics of it). Chatting with contractors and tradesmen, waxing my car, and fiddling around with my computer all are done with an underlying sense that I have learned how to do so from an ‘expert’ in the field. Charles, a half a decade has passed and I will continue to share moments with you until a half century has disappeared like a vapor. You are my dear brother in Christ and since you are not with me and with your family, I take comfort that you are with our Saviour in glory.
Remembering, Praying, Loving you guys!
Praying for you! - Norm, you mentioned that 5 years is a landmark of sorts...May the Lord strengthen and encourage you today and in the days ahead...love R
To my family
I'm thinking and praying for all of you today. That God would grant you peace, continued healing and unexplicable joy. Every time I think of Charles I see his smile and his laugh. Every Christmas party, summer at the cottage, every passing by of a dalmation he is missed. I pray that you take great comfort is knowing that very soon we will all be together in Paradise.
I love you all.
Becky
Charles met Jesus 5 years ago today. I still miss him; sometimes 2 to 3 times a day. I cry much less often now, maybe once every two weeks. Pauline and I are still healing; still changing. Gradually I am accepting my new normal. I see Charles as an example to me in so many areas of my life. He was one of the most unpretentious, creative, friendly and tenderhearted people that I’ve ever known. His example constantly encourages me to be less full of myself; to be more gracious, hopefully more patient and kinder. Thankyou Charles for blessing me daily. Charles, I’m so glad heaven is more wonderful than I can even begin to imagine. I’m glad you’re missing all the hard stuff of life down here. Pauline, James, Julia, Natalie and I are coping with our healing journey fairly well. Heaven is real. The Lord is so good. We’ll be along soon Charles. I love you Charles with all of my being.
Dad
Dear Beanges,
I'm thinking of your family today and praying for a hopeful and meaningful time of remembrance for you all.
Love to you all,
Ashley Tiberi
Just looking at a picture of Charles and your family on my fridge door and wanting to let you know that I love you all and I'm remembering Charles and you today. Love his smile :) What joy he knows today is beyond comprehension here.
I always at this time of year think of Charles and his family. I found a picture of Charles today and felt compelled to remember him at this time. joyce
Just last week I was dusting the photo we have of Charles in our family room.... I agree, that was one of the best pictures ever! Now, as the fifth year anniversary is almost here, I have to share with you a reminder of Charles that the Lord gives me each Spring, right before the anniversary of Charles' passing. This morning, Saturday, the 4th of April, for the first time this year, I see something gazing back at me as I wash breakfast dishes. I look out, and the bunny is looking back at me... sitting there sedately - although a squirrel running along the fence top is almost blown off the fence in the fierce wind. The bunny continues to graze new shoots of weeds in my back yard, and his little body does not seem to waver although his fur is wet and ruffled with the wind swirling snowflakes around him. Each year, this bunny comes into our backyard, sometimes brings a friend or two, and then seems to disappear after a few days until the next year. A very quiet reminder to me of Charles, who loved raising rabbits.
Sending love to you all,
Elaine
I've been thinking a lot about Charles in light of the five year anniversary coming up on April 6. I wonder what he's been doing for all this time. Obviously there's no time in heaven...but I've had a full and busy life for the past five years, and I wonder what he's been doing.
Lots of siblings are continents and time zones away for life and yet can call each other and catch up. It's weird that Charles and I can't call each other up and touch base. I remember Charles calling me my second year of university (his third) and saying, "Julia, you haven't called me." That was the first time he intentionally intiated calling me and consistently staying in touch. That meant a lot.
It also feels bizarre that someone who was part of every childhood memory and part of many memories in high school and university simply does not exist anymore. His voice is nowhere to be heard.
I remember that after his death, I missed his handwriting, because I realized I'd never see it again. That nothing else on earth would be written in that handwriting anymore.
I visited Charles in South Carolina two weeks before he died, and I remember him scribbling his signature on a receipt at Walmart. He joked that no one looked at the signatures anyway, so he just made a bunch of loops in lieu of his signature. After he died, I dug up that receipt and still have it in my room at home...my last memory of his handwriting.
So I had a dream about a week and a half ago about Charles' handwriting. In my dream, my vision zoomed in on his writing. His handwriting filled my entire vision. I woke up crying, which is something I've never done before.
The memories are getting more painful, for some reason. Recalling my visit or the details surrounding his death are so hard....perhaps because my life is so, so different now, so memories just reinforce the time that has elapsed and therefore the amount of time Charles has been gone.
I miss you so much, Charles, and can't wait to see you again.
I’ve added 54 new photos of Charles under the “photo” section. Scroll up and you’ll see them. February 09/54pictures.
Since our last posting Pauline spent 3 successful days doing interviews in Calgary. We spent 4 wonderful days with Julia. She starts her new job March 2nd, so her spirits are much improved. We spent 4 days near Banff, staying with Marj and Dallas Miller. We went snow shoeing in the Rockies and saw an elk herd and a couple of coyotes. Last week when we were in Alberta, Julia and Natalie spent 3 days in Florida. This weekend Natalie drove to Taylor University to visit James for 4 days.
The days are getting longer and spring is around the corner. I’m grateful!
This past Friday (February 6th) Natalie was 1 day older than Charles when he died. Pauline flew to Calgary today, where she will be spending 3 days conducting interviews for her doctoral dissertation. I fly to Calgary this Thursday for a week, where we will meet Gentry's parents, brother and sister; visit some other friends we known for years and return Thursday (February 19th). James is back at Taylor after 4 weeks in Oxford England. He's majoring in economics; still deciding if he wants to be a medical doctor or economist.
Thank you for the occasional emails and letters we get remembering Charles. Believe it or not some folks are still praying for us. Paulie and I appreciate it more than words can express. Thank you for visiting our website.
Drew Pearson (age 28) died in a car accident in Florida December 29th. December 28th his wife gave birth to their first child. Our daughter Julia attended Taylor University with Drew, 4 years ago. He and his parents know the Lord. Please pray for Jim Pearson and his wife who are in terrible pain. Jim is a Pastor in a church in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
I ran into some familiar faces this past week who were mutual friends of charles & I. I couldnt help but smile & think of all the fun we had together. We have lost touch & made plans to grab a coffee, to catch up. In a way it will be wierd, because I don't have a lot of memories with some friends without us all being in a big group hanging out(Charles & everyone). Mrs. Pauline - Mr. Norm, I think about you all often.
I ran into some familiar faces this past week who were mutual friends of charles & I. I couldnt help but smile & think of all the fun we had together. We have lost touch & made plans to grab a coffee, to catch up. In a way it will be wierd, because I don't have a lot of memories with some friends without us all being in a big group hanging out(Charles & everyone). Mrs. Pauline - Mr. Norm, I think about you all often.
Our family is continually changing which is good. James is doing Oxford Studies in England in Economics. He will be home next Wednesday, then back to Taylor the following Sunday. Julia is back in Calgary living in a new setting. Natalie just started her second semester of Graduate School at University of Toronto. She started a new course in the “politics of cities”. Pauline will be spending a week in Calgary doing interviews for her Doctoral Dissertation next month. I will be following in a few days to visit Julia and we are hoping to meet Gentry’s parents.
Today is Charles' birthday. If he wasn't in heaven he would be 28. Happy birthday Charles. I'm so glad that you're happier than I can possibly understand. Each year that passes means that I'm another year closer to seeing you. I love you.
I've added 44 new pictures under the caption "Dec 08". To all the many friends who visit this site (there are still about 300 visits per month!!!!), a very, very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!
Thought about Charles today and dropped by. There are a lot of memories that can abstract over time. For some reason voice and laughter remain clear to me.
It is as if our voice and laughter express an eternal part of our "self". Thankfully, that eternal expression roots deeply in us and connects our souls. It makes the inevitable reunion that much more anticipated, that much more joyous upon realization.
James is finished exams at Taylor University and he'll be driving home tonight! If you go look on this site to the first frame you will see (Charles at the water falls) captions "about Charles" "photos" etc. Second from the left I've updated and added to the caption "grieving parents." In the future if you know of parents who have lost children you might want to direct them to "grieving parents."
James got home 4 days ago for the American Thanksgiving. It is so good to have him home. Pauline cooked his favorite meal tonight. The four of us are going to The Keg Steak House tonight. Julia is still interviewing for a job in Calgary. Christmas is coming very soon!
Thanks for visiting with us.
This week I've bumped into some of Charles' friends on Facebook. They're people I will always remember and want to stay in touch with, but actually seeing pictures of them and seeing glimpses of their lives is hard. It's good to know that Charles had solid, great friends, yet seeing their names and faces brings back memories of Charles. Good, yet sad....
Pauline and I got back this week from a wonderful week in Bermuda where we enjoyed a great “FOCUS ON THE FAMILY”, marriage seminar. The break was good. Bermuda is wonderful. We were blessed to meet some “quality” people. James is coming home for the America Thanksgiving on Monday November 24th for 7 days. Julia and Gentry will be home for Christmas for a week. Pauline is still plugging away at her PHD Dissertation. I am happy at work because our Canadian dollar is falling and we are hoping to get more American work. Thanks for visiting us. Thanks for the occasional email of encouragement. Thank you to a number of you who still have our family picture on your refrigerator.
The Lord is good.
No
At this time of year I think about my father and the loss I felt. At the same time I remember the loss of other freinds like Charles. My thoughts are always with you. We were blessed to know them. Love Joyce Dean
A week ago was our Canadian Thanksgiving. Pauline, Natalie and I went to our cottage. This was the first year that both James and Charles weren’t there for the fall “close-up” so Natalie very successfully took our boat out of the water onto the trailer. The coloured leaves were unusually bright. Our dogs had a wonderful time. Julia left Toronto last Wednesday for a two-day leadership conference that she went to in Ottawa. She is now back in Calgary looking for a job. Our business is unusually busy. Fall is one of my favorite seasons because it’s peaceful, a time when I feel unusually contented and blessed.
Norm Beange
Pauline, Natalie and I visited Taylor University last weekend to see James. We are on the parents council, so we had lots of stimulating interaction between a number of school leaders and parents. James is doing well. He is noticing that each school year seems to get harder! Julia is home and spending long hours on a political campaign. It’s good to hear Pauline and the girls laugh and spend seemingly long hours chatting about “good stuff”. Our business is wonderfully busy. Tomorrow, Pauline and I start teaching a monthly ten-month course on leadership for 26 people at our church, Community Bible Church.
This week Natalie went to her first graduate school classes at the University of Toronto. For the first two weeks you can “try out” classes to see which ones you like so Natalie is sitting in on eight different classes and has to choose four she likes best.
Julia resigned from her job this week for a number of good reasons. She is flying home this Monday morning for two or three weeks to work on a political campaign here in Toronto.
Next Thursday Paulie, Natalie and I drive to Taylor University. Pauline and I are on the parent’s council. Natalie will be staying for three days with one of her favorite professors. We will spend some time with James.
Julia came home with a friend for nine days in August. We were all at the cottage for a few days; boating, sunbathing … lots of “good cottage stuff”. Julia visited her church and our church and lots of old friends. It was great to have her home. A week ago Pauline and I drove James to Taylor University for the start of his junior year. Natalie had a wonderful few weeks at camp Mini-Yo-We. Natalie will be living at home this year. Today is her first day of orientation at the University of Toronto where she will be doing her Master of Arts Degree in Political Science. We have been empty nesters for two years and we are looking forward to having her home for a year. It’s been a great summer…lots of wonderful memories. Thanks for visiting with us!
I love how excited Charles was about just everything. He really was just his friends and families biggest fan. I am working towards my OT degree. I know he would of really been such an encouragement to me while I'm going back to school. I miss that, I miss him.
I find that "firsts" that make me miss Charles. The first summer without him was hard...the first Christmas, the first snowfall. And then first events make me miss him.
My university graduation, my MA graduation, my first career job.
Today is another first. I'm bringing my boyfriend home to meet my family. I've never brought a guy home before, and everything in me wishes Charles could meet him.
Our family just had Charles' headstone finalized and put up, and so that will be another first this weekend: seeing a tangible reminder of the finality of Charles' death. I can't really say I'm looking forward to seeing it, but I am going to take my boyfriend and show him, to introduce him to Charles, as it were.
Perhaps that sounds morbid, but that's reality and I find that acknowledging it and accepting it is easier.
So this week at home will be tons of fun yet will have its moments of sadness. Enjoying the excitement of introducing my boyfriend to "my world" yet being conscious that someone is missing.
Julia
We had a great week. Monday was a holiday so Paulie and I practised "goofing off"! Tuesday I drove 2 hours north to Camp Mini Yo We for an all day board meeting. James and Natalie who are both working there came home with me for their day off. Holly our dwarf Dalamation dog went to the Vet yesterday for surgery. We'll know today if she'll be O.K. Julia flies in tonight from Calgary with a friend. She'll be home for 9 days. Hopefully she'll be able to visit a lot of friends and we'll be at our cottage for a few days. Summer is racing by. Thanks for visiting us. The Lord is good. He controls the future. We have heaven to look forward to. What more could we ask for
Saturday, Pauline and I drove Natalie up to camp Mini-Yo-We where she will be busy for two weeks. Julia comes home from Calgary August 8th for 9 days. She is bringing a friend. She will be doing a lot of visiting and we’ll spend a few days together at our cottage on the Manitouin Island.
In the first three years since Charles died this website averaged about 400 visits a month. I just checked the program that drives the website and was surprised to find that for the last few months it’s still recording 300 visits a month! I am amazed that 10 people a day on average visit this site.
Thank you for your interest, memories of Charles and for keeping up with the Beange family doings
Pauline and Natalie got home from their four-week graduate course at the University of Michigan. James drove from camp Mini-Yo-We Friday night (two hour drive) and went back Saturday afternoon. Julia spent a three day weekend in British Columbia fishing, hiking and seeing some amazing scenery.
Please pray for John and Ann Prins 2998 London Road Sarnia, Ontario N7T 7H2 whose oldest son 22 Desmond was killed in a snowboarding accident. He knew the Lord. He leaves three brothers and one sister. Again please pray for them. I know a little bit about what they are going through and it is terrible.
James and I had a good few days at the cottage last week. I dropped him off at Camp Mini Yo We Saturday nite. Paulie and Natalie are finishing the last week of their 4 week course at the University of Michigan. They plan to be home this Friday nite. Julia will be in British Columbia with a friend this weekend. I'm home alone this week. Fortunately our 3 dogs are good company!
Been thinking about something Pauline and Charles' friends told me about Charles and how his most memorable and enjoyable events were those spent with his family on vacations and excursions.
It is good to see that family adventures continue. IT is something we have adopted with our family as they grow up. Every moment and every day day is given to be lived abundantly.
This epic adventure carries us forward to the great reunion where more adventures await.
The following is a “very late” letter we mailed to a number of friends.
Last year was a good year for our family. Life for us is an evolutionary change of grieving since Charles died. Each Christmas gets a little easier. Charles birthday, January 6th wasn’t as difficult as the previous two. We are in our fourth year since Charles died. The experts seem to say it’s five years of gradual changing until we settle into our “new normal”, so I am curious to see what this year holds. We are different; I see changes in Pauline that only I can see. One of the kids told me recently that I am more mellow! I enjoy spending more time by myself than I used to. I noticed this year that Pauline is laughing like she used to and I’m learning to accept that I have regular periods of sadness that usually are not triggered by anything in particular. It’s just how my life is.
Our kids delight us, we are proud of them and they continually encouraged us by how well they are healing. Julia graduated with a Master of Arts degree in Communication Studies from the University of Calgary where she did her Masters Thesis on “Sibling Grieving”. We flew out for her graduation in the fall. She is working in Calgary in the oil industry. Natalie is a senior at Taylor University and is in the process of applying to graduate schools and law schools. James is in this second year at Taylor University as a pre-med major. As I write this letter James is spending this month in London England doing a course in English literature. Pauline finished her course work for her PHD in Political Science at University of Toronto last spring. This fall her dissertation committee was formed and last month her 45-page dissertation proposal was approved.
I am still amazed at the number of people who pray for us, keep in touch and bless us. Charles’s web site (www.charlesbeange.com) still gets about 400 visitors a month.
I’ve had the opportunity to be in touch with a number of saints who have lost children. They usually feel quite free to talk to me and I am able to give them some insight as to what their future will look like. Grieving is teaching me three things: I am learning to enjoy more of the moment and the simple process of a day and what it holds. Secondly I am more aware of other people’s pain, which is difficult at times, but overall the blessing out weighs the pain. Thirdly, I am much more accepting of my own mortality. All the people I have talked to who have lost children find the same experience. Every night after praying with Pauline I thank the Lord that I am another day closer to heaven. I am confident that I will struggle as hard for my last breath as much as anyone, but I will have more peace and confidence about the reality of heaven. When my hard times come I drift off into thoughts of heaven: few emotions are sweeter or more pleasant. The Lord is good. We will see Charles in due course. We are blessed.
Norm Beange
I just added 65 pictures of our family trip to Iceland and Europe in May/June under the photo caption “June 08 Europe trip”.
Been thinking about Charles a lot this past week or so. Another summer is here, another summer that he is gone, another summer he's missing.
I bought a Green Day CD awhile back...it's an ancient one, but I remember Charles playing it when I was about 12...I thought it was so cool and therefore that he was too! So I hit "repeat" over and over again and just when I think I've exhausted the song, I can't help but listen to it again...and imagine me as a young teenager with Charles driving the Suburban, the music blaring.
It’s been a good week. Julia arrived back in Calgary from Rome last Friday. The trade show she managed was a stressful, growing and learning experience. James & Natalie were at camp Mini Yo We all this week. Natalie’s home today. Paulie and Natalie leave this Sunday (June 23) for a four week political science course at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Elvis our 3rd Dalmatian had an operation yesterday, so when I am home alone next week he will probably need some extra care and affection. He has a large plastic cone around his neck so he can’t lick himself and he is feeling extremely sorry for himself.
We just got back safely from a wonderful trip to Europe. We spent a day in Iceland, saw Brussels and Luxemburg and in Germany we visited Berlin, Frankfurt and Cologne. Julia met us after we were there for three days and we traveled together. When we left for Toronto, Julia flew to Rome where she is managing her company’s trade show. She will be back in Calgary this Friday. The time we spent with the kids was good. We talked more freely about Charles; laughed a lot, took lots of pictures…. enjoyed each other more than we have for a long time. Today we are off to the cottage for the week.
Thanks for visiting us.
Our family is off to Europe tomorrow (Tues. May 27th). We will be attending a Graphic Arts trade show that I have been to 9 times since 1975. James & Natalie are looking after all the planning for trains, hotels, tours etc. Julia will be flying from Calgary on Saturday (May 31st). She will be staying with us until the following Friday (June 6th). She then flies to Rome where she will be managing her companies trade show. We fly home Saturday June 7th. The kids hope to visit some new countries that they have not been to before. I am looking forward to lots of laughter, exciting conversations and special time with Pauline and the kids. It could be that we are not together again as an entire family for a while so it will be an extra special time for us.
Thank you for visiting with us on this site.
The LORD is good.
Hi Norm and Pauline
I visited Charles' website today. I had been intending to do this ever since I got your letter a while ago. I've been thinking about you and praying that you would continue to heal. It seems that when your own kids finally get their drivers license, a whole new world of worry opens up....and we must learn afresh how to put that care upon the Lord. Some things in this earthly life we will never understand...like "Why did this happen?" I can only imagine how many times you must have asked this question. Please be strong in the Lord. Run to Him....never away from Him.
We all went to Natalie’s graduation at Taylor University this past weekend. Julia flew in from Calgary. We met with a number of parents of Natalie’s friends, spent some time with a family (good friend of Natalie’s) who lost their daughter in an accident two years ago. Pauline and I are getting out of the routine of being “empty nesters”, because James and Natalie will be home most of the summer.
Julia and her friends from her Taylor University class are having a reunion in Chicago. Next weekend (May 17) all 5 of us will be going to Taylor University to attend Natalie's graduation.
P.S I've added 57 pictures on Charles website under the caption "Charles New Pictures April 08"
On the home page of this website with captions such as “Photo Gallery,” I’ve added to the extreme right a caption for “Grieving Parents.” If you ever come across parents who experience the death of a child, you might direct them this section on the site. Hopefully this “Letter” will be helpful for them. I’ve posted the same “Letter” as follows:
If you are a parent who has lost a child I hope that the following will be of some help.
I can understand a little bit of your pain. Our twenty-three year old son died in April 2004 suddenly. We did not get a chance to say good-bye. He is in heaven. The pain is brutal, isn’t it? I wish I could say it is going to get easier in the near future. My family was fortunate to have a visit the week after our son’s death, from a Christian couple who lost their firstborn, also a twenty-three year old, twelve years ago. They gave us some marvelous counsel, which I pass on to you with the hope that it might be of help in the future. I only wish I had followed the counsel more diligently.
Watch your health. You may see negative changes, expected changes, experience physical things, which you may never have experienced before. Monitor your diet. Seek medical attention frequently. My wife, Pauline and I each see a doctor every six weeks. I regret I did not do this much earlier.
Secondly, learn to pamper yourself. You will become less focused, more vulnerable, physically weak…learn to pamper yourself. Learn to say “no”, lighten your load, learn to accept that you are “just not up to it” as much as you used to be.
Thirdly, learn to accept help. Your may find it is hard. The Lord Jesus said “it is more blessed to give than to receive”. The catch 22 is that no one can give until someone has the grace and humility to receive. Sometimes the most unexpected people will step forward and ask to help. I talked just yesterday to a lady who lost her adult son four months ago. Each day a different lady from her church drops in about 10 o’clock, makes her lunch and leaves at 2 o’clock. They simply listen, pray and “are there”.
My wife and I are learning to say “yes” more readily to people’s offers of help than we ever did before our son died. Learn to take shortcuts. Don’t make as many commitments.
You will probably grieve much differently as a couple. One of you might slowly withdraw and the other becomes overloaded with busyness. In our situation, I cry daily; my wife cannot cry. My wife can no longer enjoy large group interactions. She cannot stand chitchat, small talk. I find personal aloneness more enjoyable. I don’t think as much about the future as I formerly did. You are definitely going to change permanently. The decision you have to make ever so gradually is, do you want the change to be for the better or the worse. Since our son died, I have met numerous people who have lost children; some as far back as thirty-five years ago. Some are sweet, at peace, wonderful, gracious and tender. Some are empty, bitter and angry. Some of the saints I have gotten to know who have lost children are a continual blessing and others I have met made me recoil. I pray the former for you both.
This may sound as simple as motherhood and apple pie but your only hope is the Lord. Nothing else will help you to survive the way you want to.
Yours in the Lord Jesus,
Norm Beange
The anniversary of Charles death wasn't as difficult as last year, thanks largely for the prayers of so many. Our family greatly appreciates the cards, letters, emails, phone calls, flower arrangements and visits. Each of us are very grateful.
Echoes of voices heard down the hallway. A glimpse of a face on a busy street corner. The scent of April blossoms. Much reminds us of what was. Much reminds us of what will be.
Then, beyond the dark glass vision of today we shall remember our present moments better than we know them now. Together, we will all see time as He sees it and shadow will not confound us anymore.
When ache and longing will give way to peace and forever. I look forward to sharing that with Charles and with you all.
Dear Beange Family,
As the sun broke through the clouds yesterday here in South Carolina, i thought of all of you as you remembered Charles' life across the US of A and Canada. I think of you and pray for you often and I pray the Lord blesses each of you in your own journeys!
Much Love Across the Miles,
Carolyn
Today marks four years since Charles died. This year, for the first time, gave me an appreciation for two things, the first of which is anniversaries. I always found them something to dread. Yet this week I found myself appreciative of them, for they force me, as it were, to let myself feel sad and to remember Charles. An anniversary gives me permission to cry and be sad and to talk about Charles.
The second is that my heart and mind truly resonates and understands the promise of heaven in Revelation that says, "He (Jesus) will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Sometimes I just do not know what to do with my sadness. And tonight I recalled that verse and realized that once in heaven, I will never feel pain again, no more sorrow, and no more sadness for Charles, because I will be with him, and because I will be with Jesus.
Charles, I know you're with Jesus. I love you and miss you.
Love,
Julia
This Sunday, April 6th, is the anniversary of Charles’s death. Our family has found that Christmas and his birthday January 6th has not been overly difficult, however for some reason, the anniversary of his death is much, much harder. We would appreciate your prayers for the next few days. Hopefully it won’t be as hard this year.
All to often I become aware of parents who have lost of children. Please pray for Don and Jocelyn whose son, aged 28 drowned recently and Dale and Ann Pattie whose 2-year-old daughter died of medical complications and Jim and Joanne whose 10-year-old daughter died of January due to heart failure and the Woods in Fort Wayne who had 1 of their twin 3-year-old daughters die this month. These parents all know the LORD. Please, please pray for them. I know all to well what they are going through.
I thought about Charles tonight and realized that the memories of the times we had meant more to me. I remember and so does Norm the time when Charles was about 8 yrs old and we had a paper ball fight at reception on Marmora in Weston we had a ball but Charles and I knocked over the 3 hole punch and the spots were every where. Now as a grown adult I should never have done this but Charles and I had such a good time until you arrived what a mess we made but the fun was worth it. Norm you were angy but you knew it was me and Charles and with some coaxing forgave us for the mess.
I was putting my Megan to bed and all I could here or think was the song I could only imagine and I realized that it was Charles that I missed at that moment. I remember and am grateful for the moments he gave me. I can only imagine. Love Joyce
I received the following from one of Charles university professors. I strongly suspect that the famous Samuel Johnson had a personal relation with Lord Jesus. It’s a piece of history that is very encouraging.
Dear Madam: This letter will not, I hope, reach you many days before me, in a distress which can be so little relieved, nothing remains for a friend but to come and partake it
Poor dear sweet little Boy. When I read the letter this day to Mrs. Ashton, she said, “Such a death is the next tot Translation.” Yet, however I may convince myself of this, the tears are in my eyes, and yet I could not love him as You loved him, nor reckon him for a future comfort, as You and his Father reckoned upon him.
He is gone, and we are going. We could not have enjoyed him long, and shall not long be separated from him. He has probably escaped many such pangs as You are now feeling.
Nothing remains but that with humble confidence We resign ourselves to almighty Goodness, and fall down without irreverent murmurs before the Sovereign Distributor of good and evil, with hope that though sorrow endureth for a night, yet joy may come in the Morning. (Psalm 30:5, Book of Common Prayer)
I have known you, Madam, too long to think that you want any arguments for submission to the supreme will, nor can my consolations have any effect but that of showing that I wish to comfort you. What can be done You must do for yourself. Remember first that your Child is happy, and then, that he is safe not only from the ills of this world, but from those more formidable dangers which extend their mischief to eternity. You have brought into the world a rational Being, have seen him happy during the little life that has been granted him, and can have no doubt but that his Happiness is now permanent and immutable.
When You have obtained by Prayer such tranquility as nature will admit, force your attention, as you can, upon your accustomed duties, and accustomed entertainments. You can do no more for our dear Boy, but you must not therefore think less on those whom your attention may make fitter for the place to which he is gone. I am Dearest, dearest Madam. your most affectionate, humble Servant.
Samuel Johnson
Pauline and I just got back from a restful week in Cuba. We are off to visit James and Natalie at Taylor University this weekend. The following weekend Natalie flies out to visit Julia in Calgary. A good friend sent me the following poem. I hope you will appreciate it as much as I have.
LEAN HARD
Child of my love, lean hard, And let me feel the pressure of your care; I know your burden. I shaped it. Poised it in my own hand; made no proportion In its weight to your unaided strength, For even as I laid it on, I said, “I shall be near, And while you lean on me, This burden shall be mine, not yours; So shall I keep my child within the circling arms Of my own love.” Here lay it down, nor fear To impose it on a shoulder which upholds The government of worlds. Yet closer come: You are not near enough. I would embrace your care So I might feel My child reposing on my breast. You love me? I knew it. Doubt not then: But loving me, lean hard
This was my first visit to the website and it was a blessing. I was in my office working on mid-term grades tonight and reread the most recent letter from the Beanges and went to the website. I had Charles in History of Civ. discussion class. I didn't know that he had been to Mexico to work with the Curlings. Juan's Mom Mary Jane Hayes Curling lived next door to me when I started teaching. Rachel Hodges Curling was my student in high school history. Mary Jane typed a couple of papers for me (yes, we typed papers in 1966!) when I worked on my first masters and she was a senior in college. We were both involved in mission prayer band and both ended up on the mission field. I spent some time in Central African Republic teaching mks and working with women's literacy and then returned to BJA/BJU to teach and she went to Mexico. When she Deborah, Sara, and David came to Greenville, she stayed with me here in Greenville in my apt. It was always crowded but we had so much fun catching up. So it wa so rewarding to know that Charles had gone to Mexico to help carry on the work there as Mary Jane went to be with the Lord after a battle with cancer.
May God bless and strengthen you all.
In Christ,
Dr. Rachel Larson
A handwritten note came yesterday. It blessed Paulie and I wonderfully. It read as follows “I taught Charles the last class he took. He went from Old Testament Poetry to meet the one the Psalmists Extol. Christ prayed for us in John 17 that we might be where He is, and His prayer is being answered one funeral at a time. Truly we appreciate life only as we comprehend our own mortality”.
Cordially
Randy Jaeggli
Bible Professor
Bob Jones University
We have rearranged Charles “ photo gallery”. There are 17 different categories. We will be adding another 200 pictures that we recently found of Charles and some family pictures taken since Charles died. If anyone manages to dig up anymore pictures please send them to us. We would appreciate it. Thanks to so many of you who visited the site. I hope the picture changes are encouraging and helpful
Archway st Barnes London; Norman came to stay at Baden Powell hse London: My daughter showed me this on her computer : Your son looks so much like you , i was so sorry to read your sad news You can contact me at my daughters email Kind regards Tina
I spotted a guy downtown this week who looked like Charles. I feel sorry for guys like him because I try to stare casually...but likely not!
My dad just showed me Charles' accident pictures and it makes his death all the more real. I can't believe that April 6 will mark four whole years since Charles died. On one hand it seems like forever ago, and yet it seems like it just happened.
I've changed so much since he died....God has been incredibly good and has given me so much more than all I ever could have asked or imagined. I wish Charles could see me now-I wore a new suit last week to work and realized that I feel grown-up...Charles didn't know me as a grown-up; he just knew me as his little 21 year old sister. I hope he would be proud of me.
I miss you, Charles.
Love,
Julia
As servants of the living God, all our gifts, abilities, and efforts will amount to nothing without the abiding connection with Jesus, and knowing as much as possible about this connection is truly important. Bill Hybels says it this way in his paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13:
If I cast vision with the tongues of men and angels, but lead without the
love of God at my core,
I am a ringing cell phone or worse, a clamoring vacuous corporate type.
If I have the gift of leadership and can provide direction, build teams,
and set goals,
but fail to exhibit Christ-like kindness or give Christ the credit for my
accomplishments,
In the eyes of God, all my achievements count for precisely nothing.
If I give my salary to the poor, my reserved parking space in the church lot
to a summer intern, or my deacons’ bodies to be burned,
but neglect to relate and work in a manner worthy of the one whose
name I bear,
In the final analysis, it all counts for precisely nothing.
A close, humble walk with Christ never fails. It strengthens the heart,
Redirect the will, restrains the ego, and purifies the motives.
It never fails.
When I was a young leader, independent and too busy to pray,
I blew stuff up and wounded every third person I led.
But now that I am mature and left my childish ways…
I do that somewhat less!
And now there three remain:
the faith to follow God boldly,
the hope to press on even when my heart is breaking,
and the love to enrich the hearts of all those I lead.
But the greatest of these is love-the love that only comes from a quiet,
close, daily walk with Christ.
The creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. Romans 8:21 TNIV
That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
for those who love him"
1 CORINTHIANS 2:9
Charles had a birthday today! If he hadn't gone to be with Jesus he would be 27. Happy birthday Charles. We still love you, lots and lots and lots. We had a wonderful Christmas, followed by 4 days in New York city. New Years day James flew to England for three weeks of study called "Literary London", a university credit for Taylor University. Today Julia flew back to Calgary. Natalie is home for all of January working on her major paper and working at our company for a few days. I'm looking forward to a good 08. The Lord is gradually giving us healing. Christmas and Charles birthday weren't as hard this year. People still continue to pray for us. I'm grateful, blessed and hopeful. The Lord is good.
Julia just arrived home today from Calgary at 7:00am. James and Natalie have been home for a week. It’s like old times; lots of conversation; lots of laughter and the dogs are wound up. The house is decorated; Christmas in coming; the LORD is good.
Pauline just had her thesis proposal approved by her three advisers. Now she is working on her ethics guidelines before she begins interviews and research for her dissertation.
We are off to New York the day after Christmas for four days.
This is our third Christmas without Charles and we are all gradually learning to live with a “new normal”.
The very last time I saw Charles was at the cottage on the island. It was late at night before everyone went to bed, and he took me for a ride on the 4-wheeler through the sticks on the new ski trail he and James had been working on that day.
We left early the next morning to go onto Toronto, and he was still sleeping so I never did get to say good bye.
We were only back for a few days from Julia’s graduation in Calgary when Paulie and I flew back to Calgary last Wednesday. James and Natalie had time off for the American Thanksgiving so we all went to Calgary. We spent a day in Calgary followed by the weekend at Dallas and Marj Millers (second home) near Banff. James and Natalie skied.
We got back last night refreshed and encouraged. As always when I am with our kids I miss Charles much more that I normally do.
I am encouraged by the following quotation “ If I think of human beings I’ve known and of my own life, such as it is, I can’t recall any case of pain which didn’t, on the whole, enrich life.” –Malcolm Muggeridge.
Paulie and I are off to Calgary tonight for Julia’s graduation this Tuesday for her Master of Arts degree. Hopefully we will visit some friends, enjoy beautiful Calgary and come back refreshed.
I spent the last three days visiting James and Natalie at Taylor University. They are doing fine, loving their University world. I met a number of their friends. Sat through a statistics class with James. An amazing thing happened while we were sitting in the bleachers at a football game that Taylor was playing. The freshmen sitting in front of me turned around and asked if I was Charles’s dad. It turned out that Julia was her councilor for three summers at the same camp Charles was at. She lives in Switzerland where her parents are missionaries “Lexie” keeps in touch with Julia, prays for our family and was glad to meet us and get first hand news as to how we are doing. She did a posting on Charles’s web site once and visits here regularly. Unbelievable small world isn’t it!
A major tragedy happened to a family of believers this month in Toronto. The father Rick had a change in medically prescribed medication and he tragically strangled his little girl. There is a surviving sister about age nine. I have a good idea how much pain is involved in losing a child but the journey for Richard and Mary Wilde will be several times harder.
Pray for the family as they deal with Rick’s actions, pray for all three of them that they will know supernatural grace, help and wisdom.
Pray for the members of their fellowship that they will know how to help, encourage and pray for them.
I though I had it bad until I heard about Rick and Mary….please pray for them.
I flew to Calgary to visit Julia Last Sat. am. We visited her office, Center Street, her church, her favourite bookstore and a wonderful Chinese restaurant! I spent the next 2 days at Pioneer Ranch near Calgary; at a leadership conference which was one of best teaching sessions that I have ever been at. James and Natalie didn't come home for their fall break. James is on a beach in Virgina and Natali is staying with one of her best friends on campus. It happened again; 3 people said they were praying for us during the last 2 weeks!
I just found this out today. I knew Charles through his younger sister Natalie. I was friends with her when we were kids. I went to our church group with her and James. I also looked after their many pets, while they were on vacation. Charles was friends with my brother. He always had a smile on his face. He will truly be missed.
My heart goes out to his family.
Pauline just got back from spending four days at Taylor University with James and Natalie. Paulie and Natalie spent hours together doing applications for Natalie’s schooling in September.
In the past three weeks four people have said they are still praying for me “WOW”. A dear friend of the family gave us two pictures of Charles that we had never seen before. They were taken at Jim Club when he was about fifteen.
Thank you for visiting this site and for the emails.
Norm
Saturday marks three and a half years since Charles died.
My dad just mailed me two new pictures of Charles; ones that a friend must have sent. I cried when I saw them, and I keep looking at them.
I almost hit a bus the other day because flashing lights on an ambulance caught my eye while driving...a motorcycle lay in the intersection and the young, blonde haired driver sat on the curb with his head in his hands. I envisioned Charles and wished he could have sat on the curb after his accident.
April 26, 2006 four students died at Taylor University where our kids attend. There was a terrible mixed identification, which was featured in People magazine, CNN etc. The following letter is written to the girl who was thought to be alive but was discovered five weeks later to have been wrongly identified. Laura actually died in the accident.
The following is a “special” letter that her sister “wrote” to her a year after her death.
Dear Laura
April 26, 2007
It’s hard to believe it’s been a little over a year since I’ve written you! Remember when you were at Taylor and I tried to write or send you something every week?! In fact, I recall that exactly a year ago today you left me a voicemail telling me about the progress you had made on your senior paper and you said you wanted me to know that my mailing to you had always been a great encouragement.
Well, since it’s been so long, let me fill you in on some of the past year. First of all, last spring our family had this challenging but great opportunity to just drop everything and take care of someone who was hurt in an accident. We cared for her like she was part of our family and it’s amazing, maybe even a miracle, how well she’s recovered! And at the end of our time with her, it was like one day God just decided to tell the whole world what we’d been doing. In a surprising way, He allowed us and another family to be a witness for Him. It was all really incredible but I’II spare you the details for now. Just know that we wished you could have been there with us and that your life was a great inspiration to us during that time.
Also last spring I had the honor of accepting your diploma for you. Well done on graduating from college! But while I was so happy for you, something about it wasn’t quite right. It reminded me of grace. It didn’t feel right accepting something that someone else had done all the work for. Like how God just asks us if we’ll accept His gift.
Another thing I wanted to tell you about is that I’ve decided to go back to school and work in physical therapy. I know, I know…hospitals and things I can’t stomach. But something’s changed. When our family spent time in the hospital last year I really loved helping out in the therapy sessions. And one thing you’ve always modeled for me is compassion. Working with people that have been injured or were born with a disease that limits them physically, I’d have a chance to show compassion. So as I put together walking across that graduation stage for you, and learning that I may have a gift in working with people that way, and that I want to pick up with your gift of compassion and carry it for you, this seemed like a good way to go. I hope you don’t mind, but I use your backpack at school everyday. And I might have taken over some of your clothes as well. Oh, and before I forget, say “Hi” to Brad for me, and tell him I’m looking forward to that ping-pong match.
I’ve thought more about dying and about heaven this past year than I ever have… wondering what it’s like to experience moving from this world into eternity. Sometimes when I miss you a lot I try to picture what you might be doing-maybe dancing or singing, or just smiling. And sometimes it just seems to hurt so much that I don’t know what to do or what emotion to even have. But a good friend of ours reminded me of something just the other day. She said that death is a result of sin. So this separation that we have from our fellow believers is not how God originally intended it to be. And in that I find two things. First, it tells me that it’s ok to be sad or even angry about you not being here any more. And second, I find a tremendous hope because God will make things right. He will restore heaven and earth to its original state of wholeness and He Himself will be at the center and we who believe in Him will all be brought back together.
I can only imagine what you’re experiencing right now-what it’s like to be with Jesus. I wish I could just sit with you, maybe over an Applebee’s Blondie, and ask you all kinds of questions. But for now, this letter will have to do and I’II just have to wait until I get there. Laura, I miss you terribly and want to be with you but there is still work to be done here. And thinking back to your days on junior staff at UP Bible Camp, it’s just like you to squirrel out of here before the work is finished.
Thank you for being a wonderful sister and a friend. I hope to see you soon
I Love You, Lisa
Dear James, Julia & Natalie
Just a note and some of my thoughts of the past few months. Summer was better than I ever could have anticipated. It included some changes. Julia starting her job is a new chapter for our family. I am so very very very happy Mini Yo We was such a wonderful experience for both of you, James and Natalie.
The five of us at the cottage last spring, James week at the cottage with Mom in May, and our week alone at the cottage with Julia. The week at the cottage with both of you was wonderful.
The way you keep in touch with grandma and grandpa is appropriate and good.
I am so encouraged that the business is surviving; our on par dollar is going to be another struggle in the months ahead. Mom continues to be a wonderful help with the business. It’s not so lonely when she is here. I have gradually come to grips with the reality the company will not go to the third generation. I always sort of thought that by the time Charles got married maybe in his early 30’s he would come into the business. I am okay with going it alone as long as it’s a challenge and my health holds I will probably be running it for years.
Thank you for the hundreds of ways that each of you bless Mom and I. We pray daily that you will be spared bitterness, anger, futility and loneness.
Thank you for the way each of you stretch and for the way you love Charles and for accepting the changes in your Mom and I.
Your Mom will be off to Taylor University in a week or so; I will be out to Calgary in October, Julia’s graduation in November and hopefully a trip at Christmas. Natalie going for “J” term, James to England and Julia’s job. Maybe a trip to Miami in February or a BIA conference in Mexico in March Cross World board meeting in Florida Feb/March.
I am suddenly more into my old nature of reading. I am starting to write a book about child loss, I am giving myself a three year time line to finish. Mom is setting into her study routine after a disjoined summer. In the last week or so I am seeing her getting her rhythm back.
As always, thank you for your prayers, notes, cards, emails and phone calls. They always make “our day”.
The Lord is good he knows the future. I am excited about it. Opportunities are limited only by our imaginations.
Always remember that at least for the near future Mom and I are your best cheerleaders. We can bear any bad news you might have to tell us. You constantly bless us.
I love you
Dad
A couple weeks ago I was in the car listening to a mix cd of songs and the song "I Can Only Imagine" came on and reminded me of the beautiful presentation of pictures that was put together for Charles' funeral. I only met Charles just about a week or so before he went back to school for the year. I remember a group of us going to Boston Pizza after church and he and Natalie came with us. I wish that I had the opportunity to get to know him better. Praying for you guys!
Pauline’s trip a week ago to Chicago for a political science conference was “wonderful”.
Natalie drove up from Taylor University and they spent the weekend together.
Two of Natalie’s professors were there also.
This past weekend I flew to Fort Wayne to visit Natalie and James. James and I drove three hours to Chicago for a print tradeshow.
James drove back to Taylor University Sunday afternoon and I flew out to Toronto that evening.
If anyone has any pictures they want to send us it would be greatly appreciated.
I was friends with Charles at BJU. He came to my apartment a lot! The first month I was married, I remember Charles surprizingly "stopping by" at 9:45pm...Surprise! My wife (Rachel) and I Loved him so much.
Charles also went with me to Vera Cruz to help me in a youth ralley. I plan on including a picture or two once I find them.
"Charles, We love you and miss you"
Juan and Rachel
Beange Family Update
This has been a good summer. Natalie and James spent 6-7 weeks at a Christian camp two hours north of Toronto.
James was the boy’s waterfront director and Natalie oversaw a group of councilors.
Then the four of us spent a week at our cottage. James got a small sailboat, which was a lot of fun.
Last week James and Natalie worked at our company, mostly on computers. They edited our company website (www.specialtiesgraphics.com), designed a series of magazine ads and oversaw new photography.
This past weekend we all drove to Taylor University with the three dogs. This is Natalie’s senior year and for the first time she in not living in the dormitory. James has the same roommate he had last year.
This weekend Pauline is off to Chicago for a Political Science conference and Natalie will drive the three hours from Taylor to attend the same conference.
Our business is okay in spite the changing dollar.
Missing Charles is a part of our everyday life but it becomes gradually easier.
I just recently joined Facebook, and found that a page had been created in charles memory. It was awesome to read the comments everyone left. Its amazing how one person touchs so many people. I was in the park in downtown greenville last month where Charles and I would walk sometimes and have long conversations often not too serious and laughing so hard my stomach would hurt!! :) Suddenly out of no where a frisbe was hurled in my direction and around the corner i saw a huge dalmation bouncing my way. I had to smile and think of him and the whole beange family. We share that link in common!
I have just discovered the most unusual & unexpected data about this web site. I have just checked the number of hits on this site, which I have not done for over a year. The average per month in 2004 was 448, 2005 – 357 monthly, 2006 – 385 monthly and in 2007 – 1192 monthly WOW!!!
I am truly amazed at the number of friends who “check in” to see how we are doing. We are still appreciative of the number of friends who pray for us, the encouraging emails and phone calls.
I will continue to keep you up to date on what the Beange family is doing.
Thanks again
Ageless. He walks in the realm of the ageless. We walk in the realm of time. He remains a part of who we are and memory bids us return here from time to time to declare it. The photos take us back and trigger hundreds of sensations of the moment captured.
In the realm of the face to face, beyond the darkened glass of time's passage, we will remember the moments vividly, sense them as never before and understand maybe for the first time.
For now, it is enough that we live in our age in an ageless way.
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
"I bet you I can stick that whole piece of cake in my mouth!"...and then your dad paid up and you were jealous of $5...who can I talk to about bikes but you....oh and guess who got married? Wish you were here.
Please pray for Brendon & Trisha Dyck in Regina, Canada. Their 2 1/2 year old daughter Kailey died suddenly May 8-07. They know the Lord and they will see Kailey in heaven eventually.
I'm in the middle of reading Julia's thesis for her Master's Degree on sibling grief. Of course I'm her dad, but I think it is wonderful. On the title page of the thesis under Acknowledgements she acknowledged people involved in the research and her interviews as well as some of her professors. She concludes with "My parents, Norman and Pauline Beange, for their incredible love, guidance, and support that has enabled me to complete my Master's Degree." and "My younger brother and sister, Natalie and James, for the energy and warmth they bring to my life, and for the encouragement they have been throughout my program."
She dedicated her thesis to "Charles Andrew Allan Beange, my older brother who met Jesus on April 6, 2004. His full yet short twenty-three year life continues to inspire many."
Thank you Julia for blessing and encouraging Mom and I, for growing and stretching, for stretching further... for being more like Jesus.
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
Aw, Charles we had some good times! I miss our bickering, lol...And just so everyone knows you made the best pancakes whenever Allison and I came over! We miss you sooo much!
We are back from the cottage. We had a wonderful week with Julia. Julia started her new job yesterday in Calgary. She called last night to say she loves it! On the way down from the cottage we visited James and Natalie at camp Mini-yo-we. They were both excited and looking forward to the next few weeks working at camp. Last week two different people said they still have our family picture on their refrigerator door and they pray for us occasionally.
Julia, Paulie & I and our 3 dogs are off to our cottage for a week. Natalie and James are at camp working.
You might be interested to see our company's new website, www.specialtiesgraphics.com...... I'm proud of it. I know Charles would have been pleased!!!
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
Charles was an amazing guy - I remember when I found out that he was from Canada too and every year a bunch of us would celebrate our Oct. Thanksgiving together. I had the most random conversations with him over the phone at night...miss those a lot. I love how he always smiled!
Our trip to Italy was better than I ever imagined. The day after we got back Julia flew to Tennessee to visit 9 of her Taylor friends. Yesterday James and Natalie went to Camp Mini-yo-we where Natalie will be working for 6 weeks and James for 8 weeks. I will be picking up Julia from the airport tonight. We are glad the kids are home even though they often seem to be coming and goi
I never had the opportunity to meet Charles. But, I do know his Dad. These meesages are a tribute not only to Charles but to his parents and family. Of course many are praying for your family and I am among the many. I pray that you experience God's comfort, not the comfort of the world, the kind that anesthetizes, but the comfort of God, which makes us become more in his image, as we were created to be. Blessings upon you.
After getting a new picture of Charles from Andrew Turnbull I got an additional four more pictures! Anybody else got more pictures of Charles we would appreciate it. The five of us are off tomorrow June 2nd to Italy and getting back Wednesday June 13.
This week two people said they are still praying for us!
Julia successfully defended her Master's thesis on Tuesday and the three professors only wanted her to revise three sentences! James and Pauline are driving home from our cottage where they've been since last Saturday. Jula arrives home from Calgary this Sunday and will be home until she starts her new full-time job in Calgary on July 3rd.
Lord willing the five of us will leave next Saturday, June 2nd for a ten-day holiday in Italy.
Andrew Turnbull, a good friend of Charles, has given me a picture of Charles that was taken about a month before he died. Brings back a lot of wonderful memories.
James and Natalie finish their exams at Taylor University tomorrow and will be home Friday. Pauline and James hope to go to our cottage on Manitoulin Island Saturday to spend the week together doing projects. Natalie starts working next Tuesday at our company office. Last weekend Julia drove 6 hours from Calgary to Briercrest College in Saskatchewan to visit friends that Pauline and I had known for decades. Julia is busy studying for her verbal defense of her masters thesis next tuesday. She is planning to fly home May 27th.
I continue to be encouraged by notes and emails, comments about Charles from friends who care for us. GOD bless you!
Last weekend Paulie visited James and Natalie at Taylor University for three days. Paulie had her last class for her PHD Program last month. She is now awaiting approval for her dissertation outline. When she gets approval in a couple of weeks she will start a two year process of writing her dissertation in Political Science.
Julia accepted a full time job offer in Calgary last week. She defends her M.A. thesis in a couple of weeks. She will be home for June and starts working in Calgary July 3rd.
Hardly a week goes by when one or two people tell me they're praying for me. I continue to connect with people who had lost children and our conversations are always helpful.
Paulie continues to regain her strength. Just this weekend we drove to Point Pelee (1/2 hour from Detroit) to do "bird watching." Between the couple we were with and our selves we sited 57 varieties of birds! We would not be able to do this a year ago because we didn't have the strength and the very thought of doing it would have been overwhelming.
Paulie and I are always blessed when we see postings on the site. We look for them daily. We are healing, but much slower than what we would like. Has anyone got any other pictures of Charles? we would love to see them. Thank you for blessing us.
It has been a long, odd winter in the northeast with the spring seemingly colder than the winter itself. Everything should be in bloom here during the first week of April.
And it is the April blossoms that turn me back to this page. They have finally arrived with longer days and warmer temperatures. I am driven out of the confines of office and living room to a place where I can attempt to take in spectacle of spring.
There, dumbfounded within nature's cathedral, trying to recall some fragment of poetry to grasp the idyllic scene, I close my eyes. For a few brief moments I scan the inner recesses of my mind when the interlude is shattered by a smile and a chuckle. It is the realization of a presence, perhaps beside me, I cannot see, but remember well.
No specific line or quip comes to mind. Just his humorous take on life. That dwells with me even now. Eternity only sharpens the senses .......
was just thinking about you all so I thought i'd come to the website to read the new posts and put my own up. it's funny, over the last year or so there have been so many times when I've been doing something or needed advice on something and the first thought that came to mind was "i wish I could ask Charles". he was always just the kind of person you could depend on having an answer or some kind of advice...i'm sitting here smiling remembering some of our conversations.
anyway. love you all and am praying for you..
(pasted from facebook.com)
Tara posted at 1:25pm on April 16th, 2007:
A couple weeks ago I was in the car listening to a mix cd and the song 'I Can Only Imagine' came on and reminded me of the beautiful presentation of pictures that was put together for Charles' funeral. I only met Charles just about a week or so before he went back to school for the year. I remember a group of us going to Boston Pizza after church and he and Natalie came with us. I wish that I had the opportunity to get to know him better. Praying for you guys!
I have a lot of good memories of Charles when we were teenagers growing up in Victoria square. He was always smart and usually had an answer for everything.. even if it was the wrong one. We shared the same sense of humour so we were always laughing and we never got into an arguement. I just hope that his few days with us were good ones and I'll miss his laugh till I'm laughing with him again.
God Bless
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
posted by Mike at 9:18 pm on April 9, 2007:
The very last time I saw Charles was at the cottage on the island. It was late at night before everyone went to bed, and he took me for a ride on the 4-wheeler through the sticks on the new ski trail he and James had been working on that day.
We left early the next morning to go onto Toronto, and he was still sleeping so I never did get to say good bye.
I hope you all have a great time at the cottage, i can not believe it has been three years. It does not seem like that long to me. I just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you all, Allison.
Can you believe it'll be three years this coming Friday that Charles met Jesus?? It'll be etched in my mind forever. I remember so many of you coming for his funeral-many of you from long distances.
To those of you I know and have had the pleasure of meeting, thank you for remembering him. To those of you who I never had the privilege of meeting, thank you for who you were to Charles.
It's neat to keep learning of Charles even three years later. Your stories are often repeated around the Beange family dinner table and are mentally rehearsed to keep memories vivid.
For the first time, all five of us (mom, dad, Natalie, James, and I) will be together for his anniversary. We'll be at the cottage, which is so fitting since Charles' fingerprints are everywhere and I can picture him gunning his chainsaw and zipping across the lake in the boat.
Thank you for your memories and thank you for honoring him. I miss him so much even now and knowing that you haven't forgotten brings an immeasurable sense of comfort.
Hello Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie & James,
Eder here! It's 12:58 am and I woke up. Here I am in our office room. I kind of forgot Julias' e-mail and so I went to Shawn Cuthills' site to access this site. Anywaym just letting you all know that I've been thinking and praying for all of you this week. We live in Timmins now and loving it here. However, we miss God's people in Markham. Well, have a blessed week and Happy Easter to all of you. God bless you all...
Love In Christ,
Jason & Eder + Zane
http://360.yahoo.com/eder4jesus
have you ever had the experiance of turning back the clock? Well recently i found myself doing something i loved to do, but dont get the chance anymore, the only thing that was missing was Charles, asking me a million questions, what does this do? why does this do that! can you make it do this? Charles and i spent many summers together, in his younger years working for his dad, i can remember the first time he came up to me, he was facinated with a toolbox i had, he said i have a toolbox like that at home and i am going to bring it in and help fix these machines. That was the beginning of our friendship!! I remember once charles was at the plant and with his younger brother james, and i had just gotten this really fast sports car, he asked me " can we go for a spin,but we have to take my brother, so he wont tell dad on me" so i took them both, not even thinking of what their dad would do if he found out. Norm, Pauline, James, Natalie, Julia i am sure Charles touched many peoples lives, just as he did mine, just like everyone else that new him and posted on this site, i sign off for now with tears rolling off my cheeks into the keyboard.
Godbless
Mike
Sometimes I find myself doing things for no particular reason, only to realize after the fact that it made me feel close to Charles.
Take a few weekends ago for example. The monster truck jam came to Calgary and it was just really important for me to attend...so much so that I helped organize a bunch of people to go together!
While sitting there pondering how I had spent $20 hard earned dollars to watch big noisy trucks drive over crashed up cars, I thought of Charles and smiled. Smiled because I just felt so proud to be there-somewhere where Charles would have been in an instant.
And consider last night. My television sits and gathers dust in the corner, only to be turned on when I'm practically paralyzed after a long day of studying. But last night I felt this urge to stay up and watch the Jay Leno show....yes, on a weeknight till nearly 1 am...ridiculous.
But as I heard myself laugh aloud, it felt so good because I can remember hearing Charles' laugh all the way down in the basement when he watched Jay Leno and David Letterman.
I came home this evening around 9:30 feeling quite sleepy, yet I felt yet another urge to watch Jay Leno again. It's nearly time to begin and although I'm really tired I just have to watch it. Watch it because Charles' humor mirrored Leno's and Letterman's, watch it because I can laugh along and relive those moments with Charles.
Although I don't know what Charles would be doing right now in the spring of his 26th year, but I know he'd never lose his appreciation of witty humor.
Julia
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but as long as we are here, we might as well dance. Joy is a mystery because it can happen anywhere, anytime, even under the most unpromising circumstances, even in the midst of suffering, with tears in its eyes. With tear-stained faces, we can still enjoy the gifts of dancing butterflies, beautiful flowers, sweet, slow rain, and the changing seasons.
If we truly succeed in embracing life, we love more passionately, cry more openly, stop worrying about impressing others, and carve out time for relationships and laughter. As Richard
Alves says, "Hope is hearing the melody of the future. Faith is to dance to it now." If I had been given a choice of having and loving Charles, knowing I'd have him for only 23 years, or not having him in my life to love at all, thus bypassing the pain: what would I have chosen?.... of course to have Charles.
What would you choose if given the choice? Would it be easier to live without the depths of love you've experienced ? Would it be worth the assurance of never having a broken heart?
I can't help but believe, despite the grief that shatters our hearts when we can no longer feel our loved ones physical embrace, the price of pain is worth all the love they brought to our lives while they were loaned to us by God.
When all is said and done, and I close my eyes each night, I am thankful.
For I know, in spite of my pain, if given the choice,I wouldn't have missed the dance.
The following verses from Lamentations helped me. I pray they will help you too. "I remember it all--oh, how well I remember--the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: GOD'S loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from GOD. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear." --Lamentations 3:20-29 THE MESSAGE
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
Jeremy Stapley wrote at 6:45pm:
My favourite memory of Charles was the 'overnight' we spent together as counselors at Li-Lo-Li. We counseled different cabins, but got both of our group of guys together to sleep out in that fort-like/open-concept outdoor building meant for such purposes. The night was an eventful and fun one. Charles and I may or may not have encouraged (or at least permitted) a pillow fight among the campers of epic proportions.
As we both chatted and enjoyed our front row seats to the battle, Charles remarked how odd it was that the campers hadn't recognized their strength in numbers and, as a result, united together to attack us.
Unfortunately, Charles had forgotten to use his inside voice (which I could never fault him for because we were technically outside) and a few campers overheard that dangerous piece of information.
Suffice to say, the ensuing beating that Charles and I took at the hands (pillows) of our campers will not soon be forgotten. And Charles, of course, never will.
(this is pasted from facebook.com)
James Bauer wrote at 9:36am on January 10th, 2007
Charles was my roommate my freshman year and his senior-ish year, so memories are plentiful. I distinctly remember him showing up at the last possible minute to move into the dorm with scruffy un-checkable facial hair and 3 barrels of junk from storage, and it turned out he didn't need any of it... having conversations using only the names of Metallica songs and laughing when our PC had no idea what was going on... air filters from his bike drying on our window sill, stinking up the entire hall... waking up at 2 am to find him sitting indian style in the middle of the room, eating easy mac... helping him move into his apt. and not getting back on time for a work meeting because we decided to eat skittles and watch a movie instead... late night conversations about women... and in the middle of all of this, he was one of the few people I had honest, spiritual discussions with. He encouraged me through so much, I don't think I would have survived my freshman year without him.
(This is pasted from Aaron's comment on facebook.com -Jan 10th-about Charles):
Charles scared me at first. But a college senior who built engines on the floor and had more stuff than any one person should have taught me so much about priorities in life. He was always so generous in our room and so genuine with me. He gave a couple of us a stupid cd with all these billboards that had the most idiotic and twisted pictures that he though were absolutely hilarious. And as much as I teased him about being Canadian and an immature senior, I did look up to him.
I found the following in an old "DEAR ABBY" column. Hopefully you'll find it helpful. Six people in the last two weeks told me they still pray for me.....wow. What more could I ask for. I'm grateful.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow.I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully--if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.
I still think about Charles everyday, at first when it was so new and fresh it seemed to be every moment he crossed my mind, as time has passed still every day I think of some clever thing he said that has stuck with me, or his big grin. I am reminded by people I encounter with such great since of humors, and just a general warmth about them, these were charateristics charles exemplified. His birthday hit me a little hard this year. My mother always reminds me when we have our "heart to hearts" how there are poeple you have the joy of caring for and knowing that leave little footprints on your hearts. I think this is why I think about Charles everyday, he impacted my life. You see I never believed anyone like him existed I went to a christian college, with christian guys. I never had one real butterfly in my stomach for anyone and then I met Charles. He truly was just a wonderful christian man. Who made me feel very special, and I am forever grateful for knowing him and being able to be a part of his life although it wasnt for very long. I felt like I knew him forever. Mr. Norm and Mrs. Pauline, i think about you everyday and pray for you even more...I hope you are doing well and that we connect soon.
I was reading a book about grieving and I found some wonderful quotations by Dr. Larry Crabb who is a Christian author, professor and psychologist whose books and writings have blessed and encouraged thousands.
He shares his initial reaction to the news of his brother's death: "I came outside and I remember my wife was waiting for me out in the car, and as I came out, I just stood there and said,'Bill's dead.' It was a very, very strong moment. But as I recall that moment, I think my first internal deep reaction was not despair. I think my first reaction at that moment was I must find God as I have never found Him before or I'm not going to make it."
"There's a longing in my soul that requires me to look up, requires me to say, 'This isn't all there is,' because it isn't enough." "When I am hurting, others come up with the formulas and the procedures to do this and this and this and then I will be fine. My answer is this: I'll never be fine until I'm home."
"It's been seven years, and I'm still going through it." "I don't know if it's a very holy thing to admit, but when someone says, 'Well, it's been a week, a month, a year---Larry, for you it's been seven years. Get a grip. Where's your faith in Christ, for goodness' sake?' I get really angry.
"Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there's going to be an ache that won't quit. The grieving process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the pain."
"Without a relationship with Christ, healing in every case will be superficial," says Crabb. "I just can't face the depth of my pain without knowing Christ. Knowing Christ there's always hope. And the deeper the pain, the clearer the hope actually can become.
"Without Christ, I can't face it. I can only face what a pill can solve. I can only face what an affair can solve. I can only face what drinking too much or eating too much or spending too much or crying a lot or watching TV or reading or watching soap operas can solve, which isn't the real me."
If Larry with all of his insights and knowledge of peope is experiencing all of these difficulties I guess my grieving journey is OK. I feel just the way Larry feels all the time. My life is different now and won't be right until I get to heaven.
Thank you again for praying, for caring and encouraging.
A good friend sent me this e-mail and I'm passing it along to you with the hope that it will be a blessing and encouragement.
Last year I watched Billy Graham being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on television. Oprah told him that in her childhood home, she use to watch him preach on a little black and white TV while sitting on a linoleum floor. She went on to the tell viewers that in his lifetime Billy has preached to twenty-million people around the world, not to mention the countless numbers who have heard him whenever his crusades are broadcast. When she asked if he got nervous before facing a crowd, Billy replied humbly, "No, I don't get nervous before crowds, but I did today before I was going to meet with you." Oprah's show is broadcast to twenty-million people every day. She is comfortable with famous stars and celebrities but seemed in awe of Dr. Billy Graham. When the interview ended, she told the audience, "You don't often see this on my show, but we're going to pray." Then she asked Billy to close in prayer. The camera panned the studio audience as they bowed their heads and closed their eyes just like in one of his crusades. Oprah sang the first line from the song that is his hallmark "Just as I am, without a plea," misreading the line and singing off key, but her voice was full of emotion and almost cracked. When Billy stood up after the show, instead of hugging her guest, Oprah's usual custom, she went over and just nestled against him. Billy wrapped his arm around her and pulled her under his shoulder. She stood in his fatherly embrace with a look of sheer contentment. I once read the book "Nestle, Don't Wrestle" by Corrie Ten Boom. The power of nestling was evident on the TV screen that day. Billy Graham was not the least bit condemning, distant, nor hesitant to embrace a public personality who may not fit the evangelistic mold. His grace and courage are sometimes stunning. In an interview with Hugh Downs, on the 20/20 program, the subject turned to homosexuality. Hugh looked directly at Billy and said, "If you had a homosexual child, would you love him?" Billy didn't miss a beat. He replied with sincerity and gentleness, "Why, I would love that one even more." The title of Billy"s autobiography, "Just As I Am," says it all. His life goes before him speaking as eloquently as that charming southern drawl for which he is known. If, when I am eighty years old, my autobiography were to be titled "Just As I Am," I wonder how I would live now? Do I have the courage to be me? I'll never be a Billy Graham, the elegant man who draws people to the Lord through a simple one-point message, but I hope to be a person who is real and compassionate and who might draw people to nestle within God's embrace. Do you make it a point to speak to a visitor or person who shows up alone at church, buy a hamburger for a homeless man, call your mother on Sunday afternoos, pick daisies with a little girl, or take a fatherless boy to a baseball game? Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you look when you're looking for what's beautiful in someone else? Billy complimented Oprah when asked what he was most thankful for; he said, "Salvation given to us in Jesus Christ" then added, "and the way you have made people all over this country aware of the power of being grateful." When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same person,he said, " Ruth and I are happily incompatible." How unexpected. We would all live more comfortably with everybody around us if we would find the strength in being grateful and happily incompatible. Let's take the things that set us apart, that make us different, that cause us to disagree, and make them an occasion to compliment each other and be thankful for each other. Let us be big enough to be smaller than our neighbor, spouse, friends, and strangers. Every day, may we Nestle, not Wrestle! Please pass this one . Peace and Blessings in Jesus' name...
This week has been good. In the past 2 weeks I've heard of 12 people who still pray for us. Someone passed on a picture to us of Charles that we had never seen before. It was taken at JIM CLUB where he went to camp since he was 9 years old. I'm guessing that he was 19, lying on the grass with his shirt off......sleeping. Thankyou to the many people who read these postings, for your Emails, cards, phone calls and visits. Paulie, the kids and I are healing.
This is an amazing tribute to Charles. I saw his photograph on the SCHP website. Thank you so much for sharing your memories of Charles with us. Today is my sisters birthday. She died 6 years ago. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to celebrate life! The love that you all have for Charles is amazing! God Bless
I monitor this web site (along with our companys'website..."www.specialtiesgraphics.com")on a regular basis. I get reports that list information such as the number of visitors and I noticed a completely unexpected result.....the number of vistors to this web site in 2005 was 4083, but in 2006 it was 4584...wow! I assumed that the number would drop. I'm encouraged and blessed. Thankyou all for your visits and interest in our family, for sharing memories of Charles, for postings, for caring, praying; for this I'm very grateful.
Tomorrow, January 6 would be Charles' birthday if he was still with us. He would 26 tomorrow, but for the rest of my life he'll always be 23. When I get to heaven he'll quite a bit like I saw him last; 4 weeks before he died. I miss you an awful lot Charles. Happy birthday! dad
Our family had a good Christmas. We spent 3 days in Ottawa. I'm continually encourage to see how the kids are maturing. Missing Charles still means daily tears, short periods of saddness once or twice a day and sometimes the need to be by myself. One of our kids gave me a simple but very profound insight recently. I was talking about Charles and I referred to the Book of Hebrews in the Bible that says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,.........." (ch 12,ver 1). I questioned that since Charles was now part of the "great cloud of witnesses", how did he manage to see all of our pain and still know the joy of heaven? The answer was simply "dad, Charles see the big picture, he sees how we're becoming more like Jesus,he knows the joy of heaven which will be soon our reality, he's joyful even as he witnesses our pain" Wow! so simple; so profound! I've thought of Charles seeing us and at the same time being joyful, scores of times and I"m always encouraged and blessed.
I just re-read Gwen's post also. What an awesome thought! If only we could imagine half of what Charles is experiencing in heaven right now! When my thoughts turn to all the happy and fun memories I have of Charles in college and how much I miss him, I just think of how blessed he is right now in the presence of the Lord! God is good.
Your family continues to be in my thoughts and prayers. May you have a blessed Christmas!
Dec 04, Gwen a friend of charles' from B.J. did a posting about the multitude of the heavenly host of angels that the shepherds saw at the birth of our Lord Jesus. I've thought about this wonderful story a great deal this week. The story is so old, yet so absolutely awesome. Luke 2:13 reads, "And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased." And it came about when the angels had gone away from them into heaven"..........of course heaven, that is the home of the angels....where Charles is...where Paulie, James, Julia, Natalie and I will all be in due course! Charles is forever in the midst of glory, wonder, excitement, praise and joy greater than any of us can fully understand. Merry Christmas to all who are reading this. Our family is blessed, the Lord in all of our pain is good. I miss you Charles. Dad
I just got a wonderful Email from Brian Stiller who married Paulie and I over 33 years ago. The following is condensed version. I hope you find it to be as profitable as I have.
I'm OK, You're OK was a best seller in the l970's. Caught us with a societal craze for feeling good, self-fulfillment became an operational litmus test. We as Christians, at times shaped by this notion, reinterpret God's call as if we require it for authentication, self-fulfillment.
Nothing so belies the biblical call and turns spiritual well-being inside out than to assume if we feel fulfilled, we must be within the borders of God's will. Or conversely if we don't, we've missed it by a half-mile
It isn't that having a sense of fulfillment is not of our Father's interest. I'm not suggesting that having a deep assurance of what one does is not good, nor am I saying that it's inappropriate to want feelings of fulfillment.
I've been asked, "are you enjoying your work?" My response is, "The question I wish you'd ask is, 'are you doing what you should be doing'" To that I answer, "Yes."
The daily grind has taught me that self-fulfillment has little to do with the big question: "Am I in the place ordered by the Lord?" Obedience becomes the operative word.
These are moments we feel rewarded, the blush of success, or our work is in concert with God's grand scheme. But that's not the gauge we should use. Good times come momentarily and are gone. Some encounters leave me with self-doubt. Many decisions come by agonizing reflection, be they issues about budgets, strategies, or judgments. There are decisions that committees leave alone, that manuals don't solve.
Self-fulfillment may be a by-product of our actions, job or ministry. But make it the test of being in God's will and one is soon tempted to "hear" God's call to "sunnier" climates, to places behind the front lines, to people who appreciate who I am and I have to offer.
Who can read the eleventh chapter of Hebrews and then live with a sense of entitlement, that as God's servant, self-fulfillment is my right: "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised."
James and Natalie arrived home as l a.m. The dogs were excited. Julia flies home Tuesday night, late. For the fist time since Charles died I Looked at his photo gallery and didn't cry. I found the few minutes to be happy ones, encouraging. Isn't it great that Christmas is only 11 days away!!!!!!
I found a wonderful website you might want to look at. You will need sound. www.charlesbeange.com/Tearsofawoman.pps
Paulie and I got back last night from Calgary. We went out last Wednesday. James and Natalie flew from Taylor University the same day. It was the American Thanksgiving so they had a few days off. We had a great time...a couple of nice dinners together...visited with friends of Julia...James and Natalie spent Friday skiing in the Rockies...lots of shopping...visited Centre Street Church where Julia attends. Memories of Charles were much stronger than usual for me but I am so glad we were able to spend a few days together.
Paulie and I got back last night from Calgary. We went out last Wednesday. James and Natalie flew from Taylor University the same day. It was the American Thanksgiving so they had a few days off. We had a great time...a couple of nice dinners together...visited with friends of Julia...James and Natalie spent Friday skiing in the Rockies...lots of shopping...visited Centre Street Church where Julia attends. Memories of Charles were much stronger than usual for me but I am so glad we were able to spend a few days together.
Thank you so much for posting the slide show. I lost one of my best friends in Jan. '04 and when Charles went home to be with the Lord in April I really struggled to understand the purpose God had for taking two of my good friends at such young ages...I still don't understand it all today, but I do see the message of God's grace through tough times that others who don't know Christ can learn through Charles and Dave's deaths. The pics on this site brought back so many wonderful memories! Thank you and please know I am praying for your family.
Paulie and I went our cottage last weekend. It was the first time since Charles was born that we were there alone. Next to our home the cottage holds more memories of Charles than any place else. We rested, walked, read. The time was good. I'm still amazed at how much Charles loved the cottage. He didn't make much effort to hide his tears most times when we left. I'm growing gradually more comfortable with memories of Charles. The pain lessens with time. I often (usually when driving) drift through memories for long periods and it feels OK...almost good. Thanks for praying and caring.
Well, a number of months have gone by since my last post in June. I just went back and read my remarks and comments. It is always interesting to look back on past emotions and compare them with where you are now - in the present. I have been in Australia attending Bible School for a number of months now. Time is one of those funny things. I am less than 30 days away from grad. Through it all, there have been many moments where it would have been so much richer to have Charles next to me. Like trying to surf (I know that he would have been way better at it than me).
I am sitting here on a relaxed morning in Sydney. Capernwray Bible School goes out on a one week practical ministry here. We are in a very low income neighborhood, ministering to the people here. They come from such different backgrounds than I. We held a BBQ in the park and there were over 40 homeless people come. There was one man that was sitting by himself and was not coming over to get some food. So, I grabbed a plate and dished out some food and walked over to him. I went and sat next to him. I could tell that he was shocked that a guy like me would sit on the dirt with him.
As I sat there, I shared in conversation with him. As I did, I remembered back to a time where Charles and I were downtown Toronto, and we came across a homeless man at City Hall. We were on our way to Tim Hortons. As he ordered, he ordered a coffee and a hot chocalate and bagel. I then placed my order. He then started walking with purpose back to the man we had passed earlier. He went and sat next to him and gave him the hot chocolate and shared have the bagel with him. Without anyone else knowing, he was Jesus to that man that cold january night. I just thought of the example that Charles was for many, including me. While we are here on earth, that is exactly what we are called to be. Simply a reflection of Jesus to all who have never met Him.
... Just felt compelled to share that memory
I visited James and Natalie at Taylor for the weekend with one of our dogs "Elvis". I had a wonderful time. It was rewarding to have a peek into their world. Brought back lots of special memories of my own college days. It happened again....three different couples whose friendship I value greatly said they were praying for us. One of the couples came all the way from western Canada for Charles' funeral. Since my last visit to this site I am a few days closer to heaven. The Lord really is good isn't He!!!!! P.S. Natalie turned 21 Sunday, November 5!
James and Natalie were home from Taylor for the weekend. We had a good time. The dogs were excited. Things seemed normal again...but only for a short time. They left Sunday.
Our garbage has been full lately. We threw some things of Charles out. A year or 2 ago it would have been very painful, but easier now. Out went part of his model train table, his electric powerwashers, a 50 pound motor he put together to "cool" a fish tank so he could keep trout, a large rubber pan he used when he changed the oil for our cars.....lots of memories. Thankyou Charles for wonderful memories that are becoming less painful. Some of my memories bring smiles now instead of tears. Thankyou Charles for making heaven so much more real to me.
If you have audio on your computer and you want to see an incredibly powerful 56 second video check out........www.youtube.com/v/smlhypjhves.....!!!
If you have audio on your computer and you want to see an incredibly powerful 56 second video check out........www.youtube.com/v/smlhypjhves.....!!!
What a great week. Three couples who we've known for 25 years said that they still pray for us! Last week we met an unsaved lady who lost her 16 month son. I phoned her this morning. Her pain brought back difficult memories. I hope I was able to encourage her. I met a couple this weekend who whose son died of AIDS. He came to know the Lord before he died! Our business is very busy; I'm grateful. Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving. It was the first one in 25 years that we had no kids. It was a good weekend. Believe it or not we finally picked out a headstone for Charles. If anyone reading this has a verse or quote that you think would be appropriate for his headstone please Email and let us know.
Last week we visted James and Natalie at Taylor; had dinner with some of their friends; visted with one their professors....it was a great weekend. We came back refreshed, encouraged and very blessed. We took Elvis (one of our 3 dogs) with us and he behaved well! I got an Email today from a friend today who said she was praying for us!
It happened again this week. A wonderful friend told us she was praying for us. She has suffered for over 40 years with several operations, cancer, months and bed...she has known suffering more than most people. To know that was still praying for us touched me greatly. Just this afternoon I had lunch with a customer from New York and I discovered that his son died in 9/11. He still cries. is still on numerous medications, still sees a counsellor every 2 weeks; but as he said "I survived". He has no spiritual anchor or strength. I went away from our meeting saddened not so much because of the loss of his son but rather because of his sense of hopelessness. We both cried a bit. He understands me as only someone who has lost a child can. Thanks as always for your prayers.
I’m back in Calgary, a very different person than who I came out as last year. One contributing factor to this newer me is my thesis research on sibling grief. Although I embarked on this “academic” journey to complete a requirement for my Master’s degree, it’s become much more than simply an academic exercise; it’s been a catalyst for learning how to integrate grief and sorrow into my life and yet how to passionately live a whole and complete life.
My thesis supervisor suggested last week that I include in my thesis some research on the importance of siblings. He surmised that the importance lies partly in the fact that siblings mirror and reflect each other. And bam…that summed up this season of grief for me: the one who always “mirrored” me in seasons of life is now gone, the one who would now be reflecting my life is absent.
Although Charles lived a thousand miles away, the comfort in knowing I could dial his number and hear him pick up the phone was huge. He was always just a few steps ahead of me in life experiences…and now it’s my turn to be ahead of him, to experience what he never experienced and to live a life that ended for him at 23.
Hello Beange's,
I haven't spoken to you folks in a long time. I trust that the Lord is continuing to encourage you all. Tonight I came home and was going through a container of stuff and found a CD with pictures of Charles. I put it in the XBOX and was remembering Charles once again. Every so often, I will see things that remind me of Charles. He seems to be always popping up in my mind. I think he always will. I've never had a close friend pass away before, and it continues to have an inpact on my life. I miss him and wish I could see what would have happened with his life by now. I know that he is in heaven probably living it up, but I still wish I could call him up and just talk about life. Well, I haven't spoken with the your family in quite some time. I want to let you all know that I got married this last summer. I met a wonderful girl, Melissa, and we got married 7 months later. It was kind of a wirlwind. I remember complaining about girls with Charles and dealing with the dating life at Bob Jones. Now it is funny to look back on. I know that Charles would have found a great girl himself if God had willed it. I've told my wife all about Charles. She's had to look at tons of pictures and videos. She proably feels like she kind of knows him by now. Well, I look forward to the day that I can introduce her to him and tell him how God blessed me with a wife, despite all the complaining.
Well, I hope to see you all again sometime. If you ever come back to visit Greenville, let me know. I would love to get together with you all again. Also if you ever still wanted to come out and stay at our place in Colorado, the invitation is still open. Just let me know and we could all meet up out there. It would be a lot of fun. I miss you folks and know that God is with you. May the Lord bless, Dave Johnson
It has been a good week! I mowed our lawn for the first time in 14 years. Charles was really excited when he could drive the lawn tractor when he was only 11. As the years passed Julia, Natlie and James took their turns and now lawn mowing is my turn again. We moved into our home in Markham 25 years ago this month. Charles was 8 months old at the time. This week 4 different people told me that they were praying for me. WOW! A friend of Charles who met us in l997 at a home school conference and subsequently attended Bob Jones, graduating in 2002, sent us 5 pictures of Charles that we are so gratefull for. Pauline was back to her course work at the University of Toronto. After a terrible slow summer our business is much busier than I've it for a long time. Our home is quiet with all the kids gone but I'm so very glad there are doing so well where they are now. The Lord really is good isn't He!
Things are really quiet now. I took Julia to the airport early this morning for her flight to Calgary. Paulie and I in a sense been working towards today for almost 26 years. THE "EMPTY NEST" will mean change; another stage of life.
So much for the emotional range of a teaspoon - I bawled like a baby after you left :)
Thanks so much for stopping to have lunch with me - it meant more than words can say. It was a big step in the healing for me...and it was a blessing to put faces to those stories I heard on top of Paris Mountain.
You two...you make me laugh even now thinking of how you finish each others sentences, jumping in on the other before they are finished, and the blessing of sounding just like him...I guess he sounds like you actually. It did my heart good. Thank you. I hope it did your heart good to for some of the stories I was able to share - I can't wait to get my next "Beange" dose!
Until we meet again,
Amber
Well it happened again. Another picture of Charles. Julia spent last week at the boys camp called JIM CLUB and a guy who knew Charles gave Julia the picture! The past week has been good. We drove to Taylor University to "drop off" James and Natalie. It was wonderful to see Natalies' excitement to see her friends again. We met James' roommate Arnie and his sister, 2 brothers and his parents. On the way home we visited Amber a friend of Charles' from Bob Jones in Lima Ohio. We enjoyed a few stories about Charles. For me our time together with Amber was very special. Again last week 2 people said they were still praying for us. WOW, I'm blessed!
I think of you all often. I live in South Carolina now about 45 minutes away from BJU. I think of Charles each time I hear any one talk about Greenville. It moves me to pray for you. I'm so proud of Julia and all that she is becoming. I celebrate her intelligence and fervor for a full life not only as a friend but a sister in Christ. I count it a blessing to have met her....although I never met Charles I still hurt with you for the loss you endured. With Love across the miles, CJC
Wow! A friend of Charles from our old church sent us a pictures of him, taken when he was about 19. Thankyou Kevin so very much. Andrew. Charles' best who is staying a few month in Australia, Emailed us regarding his uncles' funeral. He realized during the service in a new way that Charles was "really free"! Charles is free from all the "stuff" of this world that drags us down. He is free to build, explore, grow, learn and glorify our Lord. He is joyful. Thankyou Andrew. Yesterday the kids were away so Paulie and I for the first time open the 10 boxes that we packed up in Charles' apartment in Greenville. I'm glad we finally did it. It was painfull. Seeing clothes, notes, books and stuff broought back torrents of memories. I read his devotional/prayer journal. Seeing a list of things he prayed for, things he thought were important blessed me. Julis left for a week of service at JIM Club where Charles and James went for several summers. This Thursday we leave for Taylor University. Paulie and I will finally be "emtpy nesters". We want to visit a friend of Charles' in Ohio on the way back. As always thankyou for praying. The days are getting gradually better.
All 5 of us got back from a great week at our cottage. It was wonderful! We're all at work this week. The kids are busy getting things ready for school; passports, birthcertificates etc. We were again blessed last week. A childhood friend of Charles sent us 3 pictures that we had never seen before. Pictures taken when he was about 14, 16 and 18. We're gratefull! I'd appreciate if Roshena who posted a few days ago would send me an Email address. Of all the 1000's of people I've met I think I remember you! As always...thankyou for praying.
We are all off to our cottage this weekend. James finishes his 6 weeks at camp this Sunday so we'll all be toether for a week. Our 3 Dalmations will have a ball. We'll make icecream, have lots of fires, try a bit of fishing, watersking, tubing....even I get excited thinking about it. Please keep praying for the 4 Taylor families who've experienced their children dying...the Smiths,Erbs, Larsons and Lauras' family. The Lord does answer prayer!
I still think about Charles a lot. Many of my most fun college memories involve something he said or did in one form or another.
I still remember the night at a soccer game when Charles introduced me to you- Norm and to James. He was so excited that you two had come to visit. Charles and I always enjoyed talking about our families...and I've always appreciated the family dynamic and closeness you all share.
When I saw James at the memorial in Greenville several years later he reminded me so much of Charles...I did not stop to talk, and I'm sorry I didn't now. I was at a loss for words.
I do visit it often and continue to pray for you all...
Yesterday was Julia's 24th birthday. It was bittersweet because Charles never had a 24th birthday. Last week week we heard from Dennis, a friend that Charles had in his freshman year. He said that he still misses Charles...Charles was a good friend who frequently encouraged him. Again this week someone told me that they were praying for me! Pauline, the kids and I continue to heal. The days are a bit easier.
I just wanted to let you know I am still praying for all of you and hope you are doing well. I hope your summer has been filled with wonderful cottage visits and vacations here and there and that God continues to hold you and bless you. I have found a new church called Grace. I have been looking for a new place to go for a little while and I walked in sunday morning with my roommate and knew instantly, that was where God wanted me. I hope we connect soon.
WOW!!! In my last posting I said we were all grateful for friends who have sent us pictures of Charles. When I got home that night a friend, Ian Boyd who has ministered to both James and Charles at 2 different camps, mailed us 3 pictures of Charles that we had never seen before. Paulie and I cried a bit and we were blessed. Thankyou Ian. Both Natalie and Julia are at work with Paulie and I this week working at the office. The Lord is good!
Norm, thank you for the phone message this week. Your voice sounded upbeat and encouraging. God's grace continues to be sufficient for ou, and for all of us, just as He has promised in His Word. I, too, remember the time we spent together last fall in the Alumni Office. What a great time of fellowship that was. Hope to see you again real soon. We begin our 18th year at BJU this fall, and the 15th year of the Learning Resource Center program. The University administration has poured thousands of dollars this summer into a face-life/renovation of the LRC. It is now very high-tech, and nothing short of beautiful. Our students with disabilities will be drawn to this program, like they never have before. Ministering to them is one of my passions in life, as you well know. Only our Heavenly Father could've put it there. Like you, and many, many others, I miss Charles, and I miss him alot. I can only imagine. All the Lord's best to you and your wonderful family, dear brother. I thank the Lord for your friendship. JPS
We just got back form our cottage with both Julia and Natalie. James is still the boys water front director at Camp Mini Yo We. Our week at the cottage was wonderful! Both the girls are working at our business this week. Julia is conducting interviews for her Masters thesis. In the last while 2 friends of Charles have sent us pictures of Charles. It was wonderful to see them. If anyone has pictures of Charles we would love to see them. Please continue to pray for the families of the 4 Taylor studnets who died in April.
I am always encouraged when there are new postings on this site! Julia is flying home from a Taylor reunion in Nashville and Natalie is driving home today from a one week course at Taylor. We visited James this weekend at Camp Mini Yo We were he is the water front director for boys camp. Twelve friends have made postings here in the last 3 months. Thankyou so much for visiting, for praying, for blessing us.
Coming back to this site sometimes is challenging. I click my way through the digital layers to reach this point, seeing the photos and seeing in my mind so many of the faces of you who leave messages here.
This seems to me a hush open space where he was a part of our world. I think I will always be able to return to this clearing as if in a forest and hear the voices and see the faces. There is no photograph more vivid than the living pictures of good friends and family.
It is good to be here.
TCW
I flew down to Australia just two days ago. Charles was my closest friend and we had discussed perhaps coming down here together when we both finished school and were ready for an adventure together. We would talk about the climate and surfing and Australian girls. We would get really excited about going someday, and then we would let it fall back into a thought in our minds. Whatever could have been, will never be however. So as I sit here in Sydney overlooking the harbour, I feel saddened to have to ask a stranger to take a picture of me with Sydney in the background. It would have been so much sweeter and funner with Charles by my side.
But I cannot let my sadness invade my mind so much. God has richly blessed me with many wonderful oppurtunities in recent months and years, and this is yet another one. I will be fairly busy over the next months with Bible College and visiting family, but for these first 4 days, I have only myself to be with. So I am making a go of this alone time. It is a situation that we do not often find ourselves in. The Bible tells us to 'Be still and Know that HE is God'. Know that he is in control, know that he will not let us down, let us go, let us go hunry, or let us take more than we can bare. So within all of the emotions that I am confronted with on a moment by moment basis, I stop and realize that I miss Charles more than I sometimes let on.
I will not let his memory or his smiling face ever fade from my mind. It is just a learning process to know how closely to hold him to me. The few days and weeks after Charles went to be with his Saviour, I wondered if there would ever be a moment that I would not think of him or miss him. And there wasn't many for the first number of months. But walking around the streets of Sydney by myself in this strange but great part of the world, I stop and realize the true power and mercy that God bestows upon me.
Without me even knowing it, God has allowed me to search out the positives in my life and cling to those and cling to the good times that I had in my life with my buddy Charles. I don't thank HIM enough for his all-knowingness, because HE knew that I would be here today and that Charles would not. I choose to view that as a positive thing. It is too easy to start questioning why.
I have actually had moments where I have been able to be more empathetic with people I come in contact with because of the immense pain that I have gone through. It is my prayer, that God uses these next days, weeks, and months to truly show me how I can bring glory to HIS magnificent name with every day of my life. And it is only through my experiences, good and bad, that I am able to do this.
... Man ... but do I ever miss Charles :(
I really wish he was here ...
The past week has been good. Natalie drove Thurs to Taylor for a week of study for a summer course she has been taking. She plans to spend the following week visiting friends from school. James spent the past week at a camp 2 hours North of Toronto. He came home Fri to attend a friends wedding Sat. Please continue praying for the 4 Taylor families who are in such pain. Our family is continuing to heal ever so slowly. We continue to be thankful for Emails and encouragement.
We had a wonderful week at our cottage. We prayed for a good week and our prayers were answered beyond my expectations. The past week has seen us all at our company working together. It was a an extra special week for me. Thank you, Amber, for sharing with us your terrible ordeal last week. Be assured of my prayers for you in the weeks ahead. I guess everyone has heard of the terrible Taylor University accident 6 weeks ago and the incredible "mix up" of 2 students. Read People magazine dated June l9 for a 4 page article about the tragedy. Pray much. Parents and siblings are experiencing a lot of pain. Thank you again to so many of you who still pray for our family.
A motorcyclist crashed in front of my mom's property last night and flew onto our lawn. My brother and I heard it the moment it happened and ran outside to help. We were the only ones out there besides the injured kid. If anyone hit him they weren't there, if he was with friends, they weren't there yet. I made my brother call 911 while I tried to make this kid hold still before he hurt himself worse.
You know my first thought as I talked to this kid I didn't know, tried to get him to respond to me? -Are you kidding, God? Are you serious?- Of all the places I was planning on being that night, I unexpectedly ended up at my mom's. And it was late...I normally am in bed early. It was cruel.
Until the kids dad pulled in. I was glad I could tell him I was there with his son as soon as it happened. To calm him until help came. I guess not too many other people out that night would have been coming from where I was emotionally at that moment. And I guess only God knew that.
Hopefully he'll be ok - we don't know yet. He's going to lose half of his leg, and a finger but there was hope when they life-flighted him to Toledo. Pray for this son as I continue to pray for your family.
I just wanted to say hi to you all...hope you're doing well. I was thinking of you and Charles today. I hope your cottage vacation is fun. praying for you!
All five of us are planning to go up to our cottage tomorrow for about a week. We have been delighted twice recently when 2 friends of Charles: Ben in Toronto and Esther in South Carolina sent us pictures of Charles that we had never seen before! It was wonderful to see them. Thankyou so much for your kindness in sending them. If anyone else has pictures of Charles our family would all love to see them.
As a family we are settling into a new routine with all 3 kids home. I enjoy it a lot. Julia is working on her thesis proposal. Natalie is taking a 5 hour credit summer course at home. James is working at our business. A couple of days ago Julia was talking to a friend her age who has been a friend for years.. She also knew Charles since they were 14 or so. It was wonderful to hear her say that she still prays for us. Wow!
Paulie and James spent last week at the cottage. Julia spent 6 days last week near Fort Wayne. picked up Natalie from Taylor and got home Sunday. Someone told me in church Sunday that she still prays for us. Wow! The Lord does answer prayer.
Charles’ friend, Gwen, posted this on her blog the day after Charles went to be with the Lord.
I just found out during chapel today that my dear friend Charles was killed last night in a motorcycle accident. I’ve never lost anyone… he’s the first. I’m not quite sure how to deal with it. I came home from classes and am just sort of sitting here in a daze, so fast, so quickly he’s gone, he was supposed to call me last night for notes for OT Poetry, our test is tomorrow, he sits by me in that class, I wondered why he didn’t call. Now I know, he’s dead. I know it… but I feel like I don’t quite understand it. I look at my hotmail buddy list and for the first time in a year he name is not online, we would talk all the time… funny stuff, spiritual things, he’d ask for advice on girls, tease me about guys, he said a while back that for the rest of my life he’d give me a hard time about a crush I had on one of our mutual best friends. I’ll never hear him say those words again. I brought my camera to school today to take reference photos of him for a painting I was about to start. I wanted him to hold his motorcycle helmet and wear his new leather jacket that he said would protect him if he ever got in trouble. It didn’t, the canvas is in my bin at school…empty. I’ll go to OT Poetry for the rest of the semester and sit by an empty seat. He was going to come see me in Detroit if I went b/c he’s not too far away, he was always cheerful when I saw him… he had his bad days and I could tell but he always found a smile for those he loved, he came a long way in the last year… he struggled, like us all, maybe harder at times, but he was winning, he was doing the right thing, he was really coming along and now, in a second he’s been taken from us. Dr. Bob opened chapel with the news of his death… he hadn’t said who it was but as soon as he said “motorcycle accident” my heart fell and I knew it was Charles. I looked at his picture up on the screen and wondered if maybe I had fallen asleep in chapel and this was all just a dream, the picture didn’t go away, I knew I wasn’t asleep… I knew it was true. I had to leave because I was sobbing so much and our ever-sovereign God saw to it that my dear friend Val who is actually married with 3 kids and on faculty, was sitting a few rows ahead of me, she didn’t know it was me but she heard tears and got up and followed me…I was so thankful to see her and she talked to me and let me cry on her shoulder. Thank God for dear people like her. I thought I was going to be OK until I got outside and saw Mark and Chase and the other guys that I am close to and that were close to Charles. I never thought I’d see Mark cry.
I’m sorry I’m just rambling… I needed to get all this out. I just don’t know anything right now… it all feels so foggy. I keep wishing that I could wake up and it’ll all be a dream but I can’t. I can only cling to the fact that Charles is with his God. The pain of the accident is gone and he is finally in an everpresent state of joy.
"For us this is the end of all the stories... But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world... had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever and in which every chapter is better than the one before."
- C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
Jualia has been home from Calgary since last Saturday. Things are not as quiet at home as they used to be. Pauline and James are off to our cottage this Sunday. Julia is planning to leave next wednesday to visit friends at Fort Wayne and pickup Natalie to bring her home next Saturday. I'll probable go to the cottage next Wednesday. Our family is different now. We're learning slowly to adjust to each other and our changes. This week will be another year that Charles won't be coming home from school. Another spring when he isn't here for the first trip to the cottage that he and James made alone with the dogs. It was traditionally a open the cottage weekend when the pair of them cooked steaks, reconnected after Charles was away since Christmas and just had a good time. I had a card this week from someone saying they still pray for us. What more could I ask for.
To all Parents:
“I’ll lend to you for a little time, a child of mine,” He said,
“For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief
You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes I have selected you.
Now, will you give him all your love, nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call to take him back again?”
I fancied that I heard them say, “Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child can bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.
We’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay;
But should the angels call him much sooner than we’ve planned,
We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.”
Edgar A. Guest
Natalie is going to a friends funeral today near Chicago. Please pray for the family and the deceased girls sister Heidi who is friend of Natalies.
Paulie, James and I just returned from Taylor to visit Natalie. We drove down Sat. Five people were killed 10 miles from the school. Both Julia and Natalie knew one of the girls; Elizabeth Smith. Her younger sister lives in Natalies dorm and is a good friend named Heidi. One girl who survived was thrown 50 feet, has already had 3 operations and has several broken bones. Please pray for her healing There was one funeral sunday, 2 on Monday and a fourth one this Friday. Natalie hopes to go to a funeral this friday to support her friend Heidi in Chicago. One girl who survived was thrown 50 feet and has already had 3 operations. She has several broken bones. Please pray for her healing. There was one funeral Sunday, 2 yesterday and one this Friday. Taylor was a sad place when we visited. Hundreds of students went to funerals
The Taylor tragedy made national news-if you'd like to read more about it, go to:
http://www.taylor.edu/community/news/accident_04-26-06.htm
Natalie called us today to tell us of a tragic accident that occurred on Wednesday night on Interstate 69 in Indiana near Taylor University.
Four students who attend Taylor University (main campus in Upland, where Natalie attends) and one staff member died when a semi-trailer hit the van they were riding in. The students were identified as Elizabeth A. Smith 22, of Mount Zion, Ill,; Bradley J. Larson, 22, Elm Grove, Wis.; Whitney E. Cerak, 18, Gaylord, Mich.; and Laurel E. Erb 20, St. Charles, Ill.; and the Taylor University employee was Monica Felver, 53, of Hartford City.
Five others including the semi-driver, were taken to hospitals with injuries.
The students and employees were travelling back to the school’s main campus in Upland after setting up for a scholarship banquet at it’s Fort Wayne campus.
Please pray for all the families who have loved ones who are involved in this tragic accident.
Natalie was home Easter, James got home from Europe while Natalie was home. I flew out to Calgary this weekend to visit Julia getting back late last night. I visited a sweet lady who lost her daughter, son in law and 2 grandchildren in a plane crash 7 years ago. I had the oportunity to pray with her. For all of our friends who read this site...Email us we would love to hear from you. Again this week someone told me they were praying for me.
I thought the following article might be helpful.
How does a believer determine what God’s will is when making decisions?
By Dr. Arnold Fruchtenbaum
We already know God’s moral will; it is whatever God has commanded us to do. In those areas about which God has spoken in Scripture, we do not have to pray to see if we should do it or not. God’s moral will is fully revealed in the Bible. The believer’s responsibility is obedience (I Cor. 7:19).
In areas where the Bible gives no command or principle, areas that are non-moral or neutral, the believer is free and responsible to choose his own course of action. Any way you decide is fine with God. Any decision made within the moral will of God is acceptable to God. Where God has spoken, we obey; where God has not spoken, we are responsible to make that choice. In non-moral decisions, the goal of the believer is to make wise decisions on the basis of spiritual expedience; that is, on the basis of wisdom.
In all decisions, the believer should humbly submit in advance to the outworking of God’s sovereign will as it touches that decision. God’s sovereign will is His secret plan that determines everything that happens in the universe. When making a decision, three things should be considered. First, God’s sovereign will does not exclude planning. It requires humble submission, but does not exclude planning (James 4: 13-16). Second, circumstances define the context of the decision, but circumstances must be weighed by wisdom and not read as road signs to God’s individual will (Philemon 4: 15-16). Third, so-called “open doors” are God-given opportunities for service, but this does not mean they are specific guidance from God requiring you to enter. Open doors are opportunities, but you can make the decision to enter one way or the other. This is brought out by I Corinthians 16: 8-9; and Colossians 4:3, which emphasize the availability of service. In II Corinthians 2: 12-13, we read how Paul had an open door, but he chose to walk away from it. Open doors do not mean you have to enter them.
Last week marked two years since Charles died. This month I'm finishing up my first year of graduate school, and if Charles were still here, we'd be in grad school together. He had been looking at some schools-I think in New York.
Even though he's been gone for two years, I still picture him doing the things that he had planned, like grad school. Maybe not too rational, but I find it comforting.
We went through 13 years of school together at home-oh, the crazy memories of school together! We went through university together, and we were to be going to grad school at the same time.....I wonder what it will feel like when I graduate in June 2007. Charles hadn't made plans for after grad school, so there's nothing more then that I can say for sure what he'd be doing.
In my mind, doing life after graduating will be the first time I'll be striking out on my own without him, without that older brother figure. It's odd how much I relied on him and how scary it is at times to recognize that I don't have that anymore.
I wish he could see me now and visit me in Calgary. There's so much that I want to share with him. A few days ago I thought about Jesus' return and got really excited about seeing Charles. Thinking about heaven helps me see that Charles is ALIVE and that he's with Jesus!! More alive than he ever was!! He's walking with Jesus and has most likely met everyone up there! Charles knows no pain or sorrow.
"They will see his face and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." (Revelation 22:4-5).
That's what Charles is experiencing this VERY moment! I find that quite exciting. Although it doesn't take away the pain, it makes it much easier to endure.
Charles is alive and with Jesus!
April 6 was the anniversary of Charles death. The day was`t as bad as we felt if might be, probably because so many people were praying for us. We received lots of phoned calls, flowers, cards and Emails. Our family is grateful. The Lord is good. We are blessed......James got home yesterday after 3 months in Europe, Natalie arrives home this Wednesday for Easter. We`re healing; more slowly than we`d like to but we are healing. Missing Charles is an hour by hour experience for me but I`m learning accept my missing him as something I`ll experience for the rest of my life.
I met James while we were both attending Bible School in Greece over these past few months. James and I were in the same small group and each time our group met, somebody would share their life story so that we could really connect with one another. I remember checking in on James the night it was his turn to share. He had prepared key notes of what he was going to say just before our meeting and from what I knewalready about his life and family, he seemed to have it pretty good.
I had heard about Natalie and Julia, Mom and Dad up until that point, but that night as he talked about growing up, he mentioned an older brother named Charles. I was confused for a moment as I thought back to all of our conversations and from what I could recall I hadn't ever heard of a brother.
As he told us more about each year of his life, he finally came age 16. As the story of his brother unveiled my heart just began to break for him and his family. Words are useless in moments like that. I was sitting across from him this whole time and everything in me wanted to jump up and just hug him but for some reason I couldn't move. I wish that I had because people need more of that.
Charles came up again once or maybe twice since then but I was so careful and afraid to talk about it because I knew James was still hurting from it and I frankly didn't know if it was okay to talk about it or not. I had a billion questions to ask but held back, not wanting to re-open wounds.
Just today I was checking out a friend’s web page on MySpace whom I haven't spoken with in quite a long time. I knew a bunch of kids from Bible School had MySpace accounts or other various blogs so I did a general search through the MySpace search engine. After putting in a few names and finding nothing, I put in 'James Beange.' A few web links came up but none actually linking to anything I was looking for. I was just about to close out when I noticed the name 'Charles' next to BEANGE written in bold lettering. It struck me as I remembered that being James' brother's name. Curious, I clicked the link. What came up was the SC Highway Patrol Fatality Memorial Website. That hit me hard, for I was not expecting that to come up at all. In tears I read the letter submitted by Natalie. At the bottom of the page is where I found the link to Charles' web site.
For 2 hours I looked through his website, read postings, looked at pictures, watched the slide show and just cried as my heart broke for the Beange family and all of Charles' friends. Today is April 7th and what hurt the most was all the pain that came up yesterday in the lives of everyone who loved Charles. I have spent most of the day now today praying for you and called my own brother to tell him how much he means to me.
I'm so glad that you have this website because I got to see a little glimpse of a man I never got the chance to meet. I look forward to seeing him one day face to face and letting him know how well remembered and loved he was.
Becoming friends with James, hearing about Natalie and Julia and now learning about Charles, it sounds like you did an amazing job raising such wonderful, intelligent and Godly children Mr. and Mrs. Beange. I'm sure the Lord is pleased with you. One day, you will all be united again as you stand in the presence of the Almighty, the One who gives us breath each day. I pray that He will comfort you and you will find your rest in Him until then.
Love,
Karissa
For the Family
At Ocean’s Edge
Upon ocean’s edge at dawn
I came but for a minute
Lingered, drawn to fullness vast and deep
Not in my power to resist
Early morning’s lacey mists
On foam specked sands they waltz
Their music – rumble, roll and wave
Echoed voices in the fog
What are these waves that come and go?
Peaks and valleys laid plain
Life’s griefs and joys reach up the sand
They touch me, I cannot move
Here at ocean’s edge alone
We’re not alone we know,
Alabaster cruses break upon our shore
Psalms of kindred souls
A figure stands on distant coast
Their falling tear it’s ripple sends
Our way and to it we add
The tremors of our soul
To this communion we are drawn
The icy shock, the salty flood
Knocked to our knees, surprised
By pilgrim’s pain - we groan
Paths that have no altering
Brought us here to know
His presence is the answer
Our longing moments fill
Life revived with life’s cost paid
Water, blood, heart broken full
Upon our hearts His hand
About our souls His arms
So morning’s misty dancers
Have now risen to the light
Too the chill has lifted
Because we know, we rise and walk
At ocean’s edge
Our friend, our nephew, our brother we remember, we miss and take heart to see him again.
We love you. Our prayers for you continue before Him.
Love
Tom and Euridice
Lucas, Sophia, Evan
I knew Charles mainly during his Freshman & Sophomore years at BJU. I met him because he was in the same prayer group as my two friends Andrew Gerber & Brian Johnson. Anyway, the best memories I have of Charles were just hanging out with him off campus. We would frequently hop into my friend’s Mustang (Jay Neal) and cruise around downtown or watch movie after movie at our friend Doug's house. We always came back to the 'bubble' a lot happier...usually we were in a hurry as we were always off campus until the last minute (or a little after).
The main thing I remember about Charles was that he was always smiling. He also had a talent for remembering everything about you. At least it seemed that way...he would always bring up things we had talked about from a while back - whether it had to do with our friends or homework or whatever, he always remembered & wanted to know how things had turned out or let you know that he was praying for you.
One last thing - I promise. His freshman year at BJU we had Goldrush Daze (happens every 4 yrs). The school was divided into red & blue teams (which played games on the main soccer field), Charles & most of my friends were on the red team and a few of us ‘became’ red team members. We all bought some red shirts & spray painted our hair red. Anyway, we decided to wreak havoc and we pulled lots of pranks. The most memorable was when about 5 of us (including Charles) snuck into the middle of blue team’s part of the stands. We lined up at the top & ran down to the field spraying silly string on everyone screaming 'go red team'...lots of fun.
I know that Charles has lots of friends who miss him and probably far more than any of us will ever meet on this side of heaven. He was a great example to me & I miss him lots...but I know I'll see him in heaven.
I had actually forgotten about this website until a recent e-mail from Julia. Anyways, during my spring break I took a journey to my first school of choice, Pensacola Christian College. On the drive down i passed through Greenville, South Carolina where i saw the sign "Bob Jones University, next right." I thought back to the days when Charles and I would joke about how we both attented perhaps the strictest (is that a word?), most conservative schools in the country. For hours we would compare the ridiculous rules, teachings and positions held by the administration. And while neither of us attend those schools anymore, I have to envy him for the fact that he is walking the streets of heaven, and im dreading the upcoming corporate finance final. One day Charles, we will talk of those schools again, and how they could not contain us. I look forward to the day.
Next Thursday, April 6 is the second anniversary of Charles’ death. Christmas was not overly bad for our family, Charles’ birthday, January 6 was O.K., but for whatever reason, we are anticipating a difficult “second” anniversary. We would appreciate your prayers as we approach April 6. It is just a date on a calendar…another day…but it will probably be a hard one.
James is still travelling – last week was Israel, Tuesday was Greece, yesterday he arrived in Italy travelling north. Lord willing, he will be home Saturday, April 8.
Natalie has been home for the week of spring break. The house is alive again. Our three dalmatians climbed all over her when she arrived home last Friday night.
Spring is coming. The birds are coming alive in our backyard. Our family is healing, but more slowly than we would wish. Keep the emails coming. We love to hear from you. Thank you for your prayers.
Mr. and Mrs. Beange,
Just wanted to let you know how encouraging it is to read how your family is moving forward and dealing with the loss of Charles. The messages and scripture on the site has helped me to deal with and reflect on my own personal problems. I continue to think about and pray for you all, especially when I run into Julia in the library or cafeteria. Funny how time removes you from a situation, but the lessons learned never really go away. Even though I never had the honor of meeting him, I look up to Charles and have taken to heart many of the traits so many have described him as having. Take care...
Just found this website. I go to BJU, but I only knew Charles in passing. He wouldn't have remembered who I was. Anyway, I thought of Charles because a have a friend whose brother was just recently killed in a motorcycle accident. His name was Clint Robertson. He was only 20 years old. Anyway, it brings me great joy to see this sight reminding people of those who are most precious to us--our friends and family. God bless you all.
It continues to amaze me the number of postings that keep coming to this website. The internet is allowing us to do so many wonderful things. We have had postings from Sarah in Australia, Aleya in New Mexico, Allison in South Carolina, Hugh (my old high school friend) from British Columbia, Max (an old roommate of mine from years ago) in Calgary, Cathy in Newfoundland, Lexie in Switzerland, Carolyn (R.A. – Julia) in Indiana, Al in Arkansas.
This website still seems to attract 300 visits a month. Thank you for keeping up-to-date with our family, for encouraging us and for your prayers. 53 people have made a total of 140 postings…we are grateful.
Thanks for your input and encouragement.
This poem was sent to me by an old school contemporary from the 60’s. Peggy lost a son to suicide five or six years ago and another son, 24 years old, died last August, of cancer.
I received an email the morning of his death telling us about it and asking us to pray for her family, which we have done.
This poem is taken from a book, which I highly recommend by Carol Kent, “When I Lay My Isaac Down, published by Navigator Press.
“I found myself sometimes angry,
often hurt, always broken –
but the bottom line of my heart was this:
Lord, where would I go if I turned away from You?
If I didn’t have You, I would have nothing.
I have nowhere to turn,
so while I’m pounding Your chest
with my hurt, pain, and anger,
please know that I am still facing You,
still leaning into the warmth of Your embrace,
not sure I can trust You,
but knowing You are all I have.
If I left You, I would be completely
aimless and lost,
So while I feel devastated by what
You have allowed to happen,
I still cannot resist pressing into
the comfort of Your strong arms.
I am angry that I am not resisting You more,
because I know You could have
stopped this thing from happening –
but I have nowhere else to go.”
I'm sitting in the library and the guy next to me is wearing the same coat that Charles had. While standing in line at the airport a few weeks ago I noticed a guy who looked almost exactly like Charles. He even had a goatee (sp?) like Charles did. His mouth smiled the same way Charles' did, his jaw-line looked the same, and I felt like I was looking at Charles. I kept snatching glances at him but didn't want to freak him out by staring at him!! These little reminders of him are everywhere.
It's weird to think that his two-year anniversary is coming up so soon. I'm dreading that day and don't want it to come. I've found myself crying more often-the tears come and go more quickly than they used to...I take a few moments and then resume what I'm doing. But it still hurts and I miss him so much.
I love you, Charles.
Julia
Beanges,
You are very loved and although the phone calls and visits may slow there are many out there who love you and remember you in our daily prayers.
Keep strong, and know that the Lord is with you, through all your daily activities, look to Him and he will give you strength.
Julia returned to Calgary for her graduate studies three days ago after a wonderful week at home for “reading week”. Pauline flies out this afternoon to Calgary to spend the weekend with Julia and also attend a women’s leadership conference.
We had a couple of phone calls with James this week, in Greece. He is doing fine.
Lord willing, I will be driving down to visit Natalie at Taylor University in Indiana next weekend.
Our lives continue to evolve and change, mostly for the better. We are healing, more slowly than I would like but the Lord knows best.
Thank you for the emails we continue to get from good friends.
This week I continue to be encouraged. I got a voicemail from an old friend from Vancouver saying he was praying for me; also, a phone call from a friend in Calgary to say that he had met a mutual friend from school days at Briercrest in the 60’s who said he was praying for me; a hug from a lady at church who said she was praying for me. I am blessed. The Lord is good. The saints are wonderful.
Pauline and I had a good time in Pittsburgh over the weekend; a childhood friend of Charles was married in Indiana last month and this weekend there was a reception at his parents’ home in Pittsburgh. Pauline and I came home rested and refreshed. We are off to Ottawa this Thursday, February 16 for a ribbon cutting for a new Focus on the Family facility in Ottawa. We are hoping to see some good friends… people who have been praying for us.
We get back Friday in time to meet Julia at the airport. She is coming home, from Calgary, for a ten day “reading week” break.
I miss you Charlie. I miss you telling me you don't care what I call you...the Charlie is fine; that you like whatever I called you. I miss our bike rides to the quiet ledges to sit and talk. I miss you being so real with me...so blunt. I'm sorry you missed my first contest...and I'm sorry I was mad that you weren't there that night. I'm more sorry than I can say that I was mad...you were eternally detained...and I know that now.
I think about you a lot. Mostly I'm glad you're still here...in my heart, and the rest of me misses your dumb jokes and quirky smile. And I'll still say it now...they were dumb. But I miss them.
Watch over us - help it get easier if you can,
Your friend
A number of people who use this site regularly are not aware that besides the “slide show presentation” listed under the index that lists “About Charles / photo gallery / literature / message board / slide show presentation / and the contact information”, that you can click “About Charles” and read 3 lines down on the left and then click to see the Charles Beange memorial “video clip”. If you have sound you should hear music. The video was put together by one of Charles’ good friends at Bob Jones, Dave Johnson, during the spring of Charles junior year 2003. I hope you can find it, appreciate it and, maybe while you are watching, say a prayer for our family.
Last week Pauline and I spent a very restful week in Barbados. It seems strange that James is in Greece, Natalie in England and Julia in Calgary.
Natalie came home to Toronto on Thursday, January 26; we came home Friday, and she left for university in Indiana on Sunday. Our world is surprisingly quiet.
Just in the last two weeks, we have had had two people say they pray for us regularly, which we are grateful for.
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Beange
Twenty-five years ago you were on your way to the hospital, not knowing exactly what to expect. There was love between both of you and Christ as the pillar of strength in your marriage. What will he or she look like? What colour hair will he or she have? What school will he or she attend? These are questions that go through the minds of expectant parents (I presume). How will God use him or her? Will he or she look to God as their refuge?
Twenty-five years ago Charles Andrew Beange was brought into this world. His purpose, his journey, his friends, his number of days, his sense of humour, his hairs on his head all known by his Creator. During the next number of years he would grow up in a house that he would speak of in later years to me, his good friend, as a house that was full of love. Not a love that you see in movies that is empty, but a love of discipline and correction and praise and hugs. He grew up in this house, and although he enjoyed new adventures and camping and cottages and friends’ houses, he knew where his home was and he loved it.
He was thrown into the role of eldest child. In some ways he felt the burden of having to do the right thing, but overall he knew all too well what an important role he played, affecting the way that his siblings would grow up. If he messed up, they would feel the ripples of that decision. So when he was faced with tough decisions, he would think of the impact that it would have - the ‘trickle down effect’, as he put it. People would kinda laugh at Charles if he would excuse himself from a table or a game to make a phone call home to his parents whom he loved and respected sooo much. He would call to let you know where he was and what his ETA was. He would come back to the table, and in a way that only he could, he would smile and say, ‘I don’t have to call them, but I know they like it when I do’. He was always so thoughtful. He had an impact on a bunch of his friends in so many varying ways. When I started going out ‘late’ I started the ritual of a phone call home if I was going to be home past 10:30. I saw the example of my older, wiser friend and thought it was a good thing to do.
Charles had an interesting way of saying things and viewing things. When I would stop him after an hour-long, no-pause conversation, and ask him how come we can talk so much, he would chuckle and say, ‘Well, I guess after listening to my dad for so many years, I know how to keep the ball rolling’. He said it kind of tongue in cheek to get a laugh out of me. Scientists and Psychologists have been trying to figure out for years what is more important: Nurture OR Nature? The answer is not a simple scientific one. There are too many things that go beyond the realm of science. What truly held Charles together was his child-like curiosity, always questioning why things happen. It was that curiosity that allowed him to keep his edge when others in his position would wander off. He would admit in the quiet of a one-on-one conversation with a fellow home-schooler (me), that it was the best thing for him and really didn’t appreciate his parents enough for the sacrifice that they had made. He also had this faith that kept him in line. People talk of consciences and little voices, but Charles wouldn’t get into things like that. He would look you right in the eye and say, this is wrong. He had God’s word and the Holy Spirit guiding him. Yes, like all boys, there are moments when you try to counteract that sense of right and wrong, but he would know that it was wrong and he was the most repentant individual I have met. He challenged all of his friends in this area. He didn’t know the scope of the impact he had on people. You can really tell a Christian by his walk, and most of his steps were that of a Christian, and he wouldn’t have to verbalize what was different about him. People often knew.
Charles and I were down in Greenville on the last night that of the trip I took to see him, and we were at Alice Fazooli’s for a dinner. He remarked only after ordering, that the meal was going to be on his parents. That is classic Charles. He just knew the right tactics. He said, ‘you ordered what you were willing to pay for, so why should you order a steak if it is going to be paid for by my parents?’ He was able to do such things with a wit and a smile that made you laugh. He knew that I wouldn’t take advantage of the situation, but just wanted to protect his parents. He never wanted to disappoint you guys. He didn’t ever want to hurt you. He wanted to make you proud of him. He just wanted to show you how much he loved his family in every deed.
Every time Charles and I would go out, there would be a minimum of three references to his parents and siblings. ‘My dad is so funny… My mom is so smart…. Julia is so wise… Natalie is so cool… James is so awesome…’ These were very common- place in a conversation. The joy that he got out of telling stories about his family made even repeated stories easy to listen to.
Two years ago, Charles and I went out to dinner. It was sort of a joint birthday thing. We went to Montana’s. The night was great as usual. The waitress came and sat down with us and talked for a bit. These two peas in a pod, loved trying to out -do each other with getting her to laugh and ‘show an interest’. She got up and left. We both looked up at each other and remarked simultaneously, ‘she is so into me’. And we just howled at how stupid we were. We knew that a five-minute conversation with a waitress, who we knew was just trying to get a bigger tip, would not turn into anything so we flirted with this poor girl more for each other’s enjoyment. We both ordered the Philly Cheese Steak and a coke, this after we agreed that we would buy each other’s dinner. The bill came to the same amount and when the waitress came to present the bills, we quickly exchanged them. It didn’t make any sense, but that’s just the way that we were.
It is funny that over the months since he has been re-born with a new body and a new mind, these are the things that his friends remember about him, little stories that bring a smile to the face. One thing that stands out in my mind particularly is something that he told me in Greenville that I have held onto for quite some time. He said, ‘Andrew, my parents have given me such a full life already, and I am only 23. I have seen the world and met a lot of people and done a lot of neat things. I am lucky; I‘ve had a full life man’. Oh how I wish I could have a conversation and just catch up. Oh how I wish I could just hug him. Oh how we all miss him.
Twenty-five years ago hearts were filled with more joy and laughter than could have been hoped for. Twenty-five years ago God sent us an angel that was just flying low. Twenty-five years ago God knew that Charles Andrew Beange would be back face to face with his Creator right now. Twenty-five years ago a child was born, and we will never forget how much he accomplished and how much he brought us. Twenty-five years ago, God broke the mold.
Love you,
Andrew Turnbull
I've been missing Charles a lot lately. His 25th birthday would have been January 6. And I can't believe that it's almost 2 years since he died.
I wasn't sure what to expect at Christmas, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We kept up our family traditions, and that helped a lot. On Christmas Day, the five of us sat in the kitchen and started talking about everything we remembered about the day Charles died. We'd never done that before, and I must say that it was strangely comforting to bring Charles along in our Christmas.
One of Charles' friends, Andrew Turnbull, came to hang out with us all the day after Christmas, and we all headed out to Charles' cemetery to choose a headstone. I guess most people do that right away, but none of us could bear to do so. Also, I didn't like the prospect of doing everything right after he died, cause then there would be no way to remember him. But doing things gradually is better.
We finally decided on a headstone that is pretty much a rough rock-none of those shiny, smooth, polished and pretty looking things with etched flowers flowing all over-that wasn't Charles. It'll be a tall, dark rock with rough edges. I'd like to think it's what Charles would have chosen.
It's good to think back to a year ago and see how much God has helped me heal. Back then, I measured how I was doing with the number of good days I had, but now I measure how I'm doing by the number of bad days I have, which are few. For some reason, this week has been hard. I dreamed last night that Charles and I both died when we were younger, and in my dream, I was alive but was looking at pictures of us both in the funeral program. It's rattled me quite a bit today.
I used to wish that I would dream about Charles being alive, but now I think it's best that I don't, cause then it would make waking up and facing reality terrible.
Sorry to be so gloomy, but that's just me right now.
Julia
A number of our friends have been praying regarding one of our buildings that we have tried to sell for a long period of time. The building sold on Monday of this week and the cheque cleared the next day. Thank you for praying. Our family appreciates it.
This is Charles’ friend Gwen. I’ve been thinking about you all a lot lately. I’ve heard “I can only imagine” several times on the radio lately and every time I hear that song now I think of Charles. I just wanted you to know that I’m praying for you all. I was cleaning out my room recently and found an old Bible that I haven’t used for a few years. I flipped through it to see if I had any notes or anything and I found an index card that Charles gave me. I remember it vividly: We were sitting together at a Bible Conference service the year before he died. Charles pulled this index card out of his Bible and spent the entire service flipping through his Bible, finding specific passages, and writing them on the card. Right before the closing prayer, he reached over and stuck it in my Bible, then bowed his head. I didn’t have a chance to look at it right away for some reason but a few weeks later, I was having a horrible day and I opened my Bible and pulled out that card which said “To Gwen from Charles, some cool verses”…I turned it over and started looking up the verses one by one:
Psalm 55:22 – Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Psalm 37: 4-7 – Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act. 6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. 7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
Psalm 33:18 – Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love,
Psalm 9: 9-10 – The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. 10 And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Hebrews 4:16 – Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Phil: 4: 6, 11 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 11 – Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
Roman 8:28 – And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
I don’t think he realized how much I would need those verses then and how much I’ve clung to them since. I wanted to share them with you because I know they’ll be a blessing.
I hope you’re all doing well. I try to read the message board every so often to see what’s happening in your lives and to see how things are going.
I just graduated this year from Bob Jones University and am looking for some sort of permanent job and also preparing for a missions trip to India this spring. Life’s been good; God’s been wonderful as He always is.
Gwen
Charles’ friend
August 5, 2005
Our son, James, is at a Capenwray school in Greece. If you would like to know more about the Capenwray group of Bible schools, you might want to click on www.capenwray.org
If you would like to get in touch with James, his email address is [email protected]
Norman Beange
James’ Father
The last week has been busy. Last Monday Julia and Natalie drove to Chicago where Natalie took a plane to England for a month of study. Julia drove on to Fort Wayne, Indiana to visit one of her college friends for a week. Last Thursday, James flew to Greece (Thessalonica). He telephoned this morning and all is well. He is making new friends. He will be taking some weekend trips to Corinth, Athens, Albania, etc. We won’t see him until March or April. We will miss him.
Pauline and I drove to Fort Wayne, Indiana on Friday, January 6 for the wedding of two very close friends of Julia. She was in the wedding party. We all drove home last night and this morning I drove Julia to the airport to return to Calgary for her next semester of graduate studies. Hopefully, she will be home for a few days in February.
Again, this past week, I had people tell me they are still praying for us. One of Julia’s close college friends that I have heard about for four years, but have never met, says she prays for us. We are blessed.
This is the first time Pauline and I are truly settling in to being empty nesters. The house is quiet. We will get used to it.
This website had 340 visitors last month. Thank you to so many of you for sending emails. I find it wonderful that so many people keep up with these postings and give us feedback on the site.
The Lord is good isn’t He?
Norman Beange
This New Year I have been thinking about my friends and one of them was Charles. The few years that I've known Charles (from camp) have been amazing !! Julia was my counselor for three years in a row and she talked about him all the time ! I felt like I'd get to know him better every time she talked about him !! I was truly inspired by his love for the Lord and his willingness to help and love people ! My favourite memory of him was when we were sitting on the Lodge porch (he had his hands behind his head and his feet up on the side seeming so relaxed) and we talking about Lord and the best parts about camp - it was so much fun to just sit back and talk and see someone like him be so open ! I will never forget that day !!
All my love
><> Lexie <><
Our family got away four days before Christmas to the Eastern Townships, an hour outside of Montreal, Quebec. It was off season so the historic hotel we stayed in was almost empty. Natalie and James went skiing for a couple of days. We all had a good rest, lots of engaging conversation and Christmas shopping. It was the first time we have all been together since last August. We all came back “ready for Christmas”.
January 2nd Natalie leaves for a month in England, taking a university course with a number of students from Christian universities. She will be back home for a few days the end of January.
James leaves on Thursday for about three months in Greece attending one of the Capenwray schools
Pauline and I and Julia will be in Fort Wayne for the wedding of a couple of Julia’s best “Taylor University friends”; then she flies to Calgary for her second semester of graduate work. Lord willing, she will be home the end of April.
The next few months will be a “first” for Pauline and me. We will truly be empty nesters. As each child left home, we always had James. Our three dogs will have to settle into a new routine.
The Lord is good. Dealing with Charles’ absence is still an ongoing journey. I think it is slightly easier, with time. As always, we greatly appreciate the continuing emails, letters, phone calls, friendships, and postings on this website that help us on our grieving journey. We are healing. I just wish the process was a lot faster.
Norman Beange
Norm, thanks for the letter in the mail and the picture of your family from last new year's - y'all are looking great. Of course it again reminded me of Charles; and to be honest I had to chuckle and grin a little. I think Charles had that effect on lots of others as well. I don't know how many times he would say something and I would think "wow, where did that come from". And believe me durig that 600 mile drive into and back from Mexico, he said a lot. He was the guru of conversation. He was fun, friendly and caring - characteristics the world could use more of.
If life could be described as a puzzle (and it certainly is puzzling at times), then Charles would certainly be a piece in my puzzle. But it would be a piece glued into place - it can never be a "missing piece". Thanks for sharing your son with us down here in South Carolina those few years.
It has been over a year and a half since Charles died. The second year of grieving, I have been told, is a year of coming to grips with a number of permanent ways I have changed; some are good, some not so good. Sometimes I get nostalgic. I have come to sense that I will be more empathetic towards and aware of other people’s pain. I enjoy solitude more. I will probably be more contented, less pro-active. I have spent most of my life in the parade or sometimes leading it. Now I feel a sense of contentment standing on the sidelines watching.
I was born with Attention Deficit Disorder and part of the experiences of my life have been regular “high’s”, or an adrenalin rush I get with the excitement of new ideas, new opportunities and better ways of doing things. I don’t sense that as much any more. Sometimes I get nostalgic about it. I miss the excitement; the “high”.
Pauline has changed in different ways; ways that maybe only she and I can see; the sense that something is missing, something is not right. I have been told this will always be with us to some extent. Different folks who have lost children have told me that the “grieving journey” lasts for the rest of our lives. I am increasingly appreciative of the body of Christ for the wonderful, and often unexpected, ways many of the saints minister to me. Just this month, two friends told me that they still pray for me every day. I am grateful.
At the end of my journey, if someone is overheard to say, “After Charles died, Norm became a lot less full of himself, more transparent, a little more tenderhearted, more grateful and contented.”, I will figure the journey, the tears, the pain and the constant emptiness I always feel was more than worth it.
I have a growing appreciation for the fact that the Lord has seen fit to save all four of our children and our marriage is still intact.
Heaven is much more real than I ever thought. When the pain comes, I like doing nothing better than getting by myself and contemplating what Heaven will be like. I confess that, for the moment, I am more anxious to see Charles in Heaven than the Lord Jesus but maybe that will change with time. I read recently that of all the words used to describe Heaven, and I guess there are dozens of good ones, the one word that most succinctly describes it is “joy”.
The Lord is good. I am grateful.
I cried today in the grocery store when I saw smokey bbq chips. They were Charles' favourite. I rarely eat chips and probably haven't even shopped for them in a year or so, so it jolted me when I saw them.
It's funny how such little things can trigger such emotion. So I've been thinking about him a lot today.
I miss you lots, Charles, and love you so much.
today will always be a time of remerence for me My dad died delvering a memorial reaf. I also said good bye to Judy the same day.
I could only imagine how you feel. I hold true that we can only accept and beleive that we and GOD hold the answers. Joyce
Our family has been busy. Pauline, James and I were up to our cottage on Manitoulin Island for a few days recently. Last week Pauline flew out to Calgary for four days to visit with Julia who is in graduate school at the University of Calgary. Natalie was home three weekends ago with her roommate for fall break. This past weekend, Pauline and James visited Natalie at Taylor University in Indiana. James is working through college applications. We have just booked tickets for Natalie to fly out to visit Julia on the American Thanksgiving and then home to Toronto for a couple of days.
We still get emails and cards from prayerful friends. I feel that each of our family is healing. In many ways we talk more freely about Charles. Julia told me that on Friday, October 29 she was one day older than Charles was when he died. In our memories, Charles will always be twenty-three; never changing. He will always have that photogenic smile.
The Lord is good. He has blessed us wonderfully. The fact that Charles is in Heaven and that Julia, Natalie and James, and Pauline and I will see him in due course encourages my heart.
Decisions. How we make them can form our character. One might say our character propels us to our destiny.
A decision to follow Christ is made.
Decisions are made daily by followers of Christ to make decisions that reflect Christ.
Rising up from our beds to commune with the Creator of the universe. Choosing to look to God in the midst of our pain and difficulty. Controlling our response in the presence of the antagonistic. Deciding for honesty despite financial or emotional fall-out. Choosing to reach out to the unlovable or undeserving. Reversing indifference with compassion. Creating the music of hope from the depths of despair. Painting the perspective of love where no color exists.
In one obedient, yet for us, uncharacteristic act we effectively choose to turn on the light rather than by inaction, perpetuate darkness.
Charles followed Christ. Step by step, Charles was choosing to rearrange his life to reflect his decision to follow Jesus. His character and his destiny was taking shape. In Christ, Charles found his destiny.
If we choose Christ, we have found our character, we have found our way, we have found our life. Our seemingly small decisions can make all the difference.
It is my son Lucas' birthday today. I pray his decisions will be illuminated by Christ.
It is a time to reflect. Our decisions, our character, our destiny affect those around and those who come after. It is best to pray for wisdom for the ground we tread is holy.
Take stock and take heart. God be praised for His work begun is completed in those who are His.
The following is an application that Charles made out to Cedarville College in Ohio when he was deciding which university to attend.
1. Indicate the approximate date you trusted Christ as your Savior.
I trusted Christ as my Savior in October 1989.
2. Describe briefly your salvation experience.
I was born into a Christian family and have attended church since I was born. I heard the gospel many times as a child – so well that I probably could have explained it to anyone. Even though I knew that everyone was a sinner (Psalm 130:3, Isaiah 64:6, 1 John 1:8), that the penalty for sin is death (James 1:15, Revelation 21:8), I kept putting thoughts of salvation out of my mind. I knew that if I died, I wouldn’t go to heaven. I just assumed that if something terrible happened to me and I was about to die, I could quickly repent and believe, and I’d go to Heaven. One evening service when I was 8, a man visited our church and preached a sermon about hell. I became terrified. Not only was I scared, but I felt guilty for my sin, and ashamed because I had been rejecting God’s gift. God had sent His son to earth as a man to be condemned to die on a cross as a criminal, rise from the dead three days later, and return to Heaven. (John 3:16, Isaiah 53:12, 1 Peter 2:24, 1 John 3:5) On the cross, Christ didn’t simply feel physical pain, but also the punishment of God for all of man’s sin. When I got home, I knelt down, confessed my sin, trusted that the Lord Jesus had borne the punishment for my sin at Calvary, and asked God to take control of my life. (Romans 10:9, James 1:21, Revelation 22:14) Since then I have struggled with temptations, but I know with assurance that I have been born again. (1 John 5:24)
3. What in your life indicates that you are walking with the Lord?
I attend my church every Sunday for both services. Even though I still struggle to make time for my personal devotions every day, I believe that I am progressing. I tithe between 10 and 15 percent of all my net income. For the past several summers, I have spent time at a Christian summer camp doing maintenance and repair work. My family and I spent three weeks last January helping some missionaries in Nigeria. I have kept in touch with them. I spent a lot of time investigating the purchase of a satellite telephone for them and setting it up so that they could have email. I take care of most of their purchases here in Canada and look after shipments to Nigeria. For the past two years, I spend Tuesday evenings transporting kids to and from the AWANA club at my church. I spent a week at Camp Li-Lo-Li in NY last summer and hope to counsel there this summer.
4. Please compare your present practices to the lifestyle commitment described above.
My present practices agree with Cedarville’s lifestyle commitment.
5. State why you would like to attend Cedarville College.
I would like to attend Cedarville College primarily because it offers a university education from a Christian perspective. I am applying to take business. I think that the only way to become truly successful in business (successful by God’s standards) is to conduct business in a Christlike manner. Secular universities do not teach courses with Biblical principles as a foundation. While there are many Christian universities in North America that have much lower tuition fees and are closer to my home, I think that Cedarville has much more to offer than other Christian universities. After reading literature from dozens of colleges and universities, I think that Cedarville offers the education I need to be successful not only in my future career but as a Christian.
6. Provide any additional information that may be helpful to the Admissions Committee.
I was officially diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder at the age of 16. This has affected by credentials negatively. I feel that my having A.D.D. partly explains why my high school marks aren’t consistent with my ACT scores. I take medication every day to help me stay focused. While at university, I may need some sort of accommodation. Fortunately, homeschooling has helped me develop my independent learning and study skills far more than if I had been in a regular classroom setting.
Psalm 84.10a - "For a day in Thy courts is better than a thousand elsewhere."
I heard this Bible verse quoted recently and it made me think of Charles.
The prospect of spending eternity in heaven is so comforting, isn't it? When time is no more, distance from our loved ones will be a thing of the past. No more "I miss you". Maranatha, Lord Jesus!
Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie and James, I continue to pray for each of you.
Much love,
Sarah
This is “the first day after Labour Day” that we have not resumed home schooling our kids after 18 years. We always had a tradition of taking our kids, on the first day of school, to McDonald’s, which came and went this morning evidencing another change in our family’s growing up.
Julia flew out to the University of Calgary yesterday to start a two-year M.A. program in Communications. Last Sunday, August 28, Pauline drove Natalie back to Indiana for her second year at Taylor University. James, like our other three children, will spend a year at home after graduating as a high school senior this past spring. Lord willing, he will be working a few days a week at our factory, taking a few computer courses and life-guarding at a local swimming pool.
Our family is continually encouraged by the number of people faithfully praying for us. This website continues to get between 200 – 300 visits per month. Thank you to so many of you for your personal emails, phone calls, visits and letters. In the second year of our journey since Charles died, we are continuing to change, continuing to adjust and continuing to heal. The Lord is good. The future is His.
We love to hear from you.
Norman Beange
Charles’ Dad
I visit this site often. I had the privilege of being Julia's RD and friend at TUFW over the last two years. Our offices were next to each other and I had grown accustomed to the sound of Julia laughing and crying. Watching Charles' slideshow and knowing when she needed to share a story or a memory.
I have moved to Virginia now but the process of watching Julia grow and the Beange family mourn will forever be etched in my mind.
I have watched a family unit speak love, show love, lean on Christ, reach out for friends and family and maintain an attitude of celebration for all of life during these tragic times.
Julia, I want to assure you that Charles is so proud of his little sis as she steps on from TUFW and into U of C to endeavor to learn and grow more daily. Go in the grace and peace of the knowledge of Him who created you and sent you to do great things for His kingdom's work.
Norman and Pauline, I pray that Jason and I will have the same quality of amazing, God-fearing children that you have. You are in my prayers often.
Natalie and James, you are blessed. I pray you will go live your lives boldly and be the amazing people that you are because of the great and big God that you serve.
Blessings, CJC
I just read Julia's post I miss the random conversation too. I remember countless talks bumming around that little apt of his on E. North St. I can see it now computer parts and books scattered, Maple Leafs gear hanging all over the apt. Charles made a mean "hashbrown casserole!" He loved having people over and spending time with the people he cared about, He had a picture of He and nathalie on his fridge that he proudly showed off. He would say this is my sister..dont get any ideas fella's :). You knew within a 5 minute conversation with him how much he loved his family and dalmations. We had the toboggan or took(SP?) debate where our friends from SC declared a snowcap was a toboggan & he protested no way its a took. We just had so much fun together. I miss that and I miss him. The whole family was in town in June, it was wonderful to see all of you, and I was reminded by being able to spend time with all of you little bits of Charles. Its easy to see why he was such a wonderful person i cherish the memories.
I'm up at camp for most of the summer and can't believe that this is my second summer without Charles. We counselled at a teen camp in New York for three summers, and I have great memories of doing that together.
He was always the kind of counsellor that campers sought out and thought was so cool but also one that campers respected and obeyed.
The last time we counselled together (the summer before he was killed), I remember leaving camp together and driving home. We recounted all the crazy, fun experiences from camp and talked.
It's those random times that I miss. I can't wait to see you, Charles!
I remember when charles was about 9 and we spent every other tuesday together. We went on reception together we were bored but the two of us could always find something to keep us busy. Well we played paper ball for almost an hour. His dad was out and seconds before his dad Norm Beange arrived we knocked over the three hole punch. What a mess Charles and I laughed until Mr B arrived his lobby was a mess and we just acted innocent and lost. Charles was a lot fun and that day tried to take the rap for what we did .But it was my fault and then Mr. Beange showed up and was mad I tried to take the rap and so did Charles but DAD Norm forgave us These are small things but in the day it was important to us. It is not not the moments but the time spent. I miss the Beange Family I hope they do a prayer for me and mine. Joyce Dean
Our family visited Bob Jones University recently and it was a sweet, special time meeting with a number of Charles’ friends, speaking with university professors and visiting with a wonderful couple, who also lost a son some time ago, who we met at Charles’ memorial service in April 2004. Visiting BJU was a time of closure for us; a bittersweet time.
The Lord sustains us. My life is changing continuously. The pain does not come nearly as often any more but the changing cycles of grieving continually throw me off guard.
Much of the structure of the following portion I have taken from the book, “Not By Accident” p. 19-21 by Isabel Fleece, a book that I mailed to a couple of hundred people.
I learned that to trust God is to trust His way, not mine. I came to realize that my intended way is made by human plans and therefore faulty in its principle and frail in its exercise. But as for God, His way is perfect.
In the safety of our home we had seen our children grow before the Lord and become His own. As they went out into the world, we constantly prayed lest they be tempted, and we had the assurance from the Lord that greater was He that was in them than he that was in the world (1 John 4:4). We sought the Lord that they would not be tempted above that which they were able to bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). And as they went about the various activities of their lives, our prayer was unceasing that they would be kept from evil and that the Lord would preserve their going out and their coming in.
What happened on April 6, 2004 at six p.m.? Charles left to visit a friend; he wasn’t speeding. Where were the angels who had charge over him that day, and why did they not bear him up? Had God forgotten His promise? Was my trust misplaced, my faith in vain? Oh, blessed answer straight from the heart of God: “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty” (Psalm 91:1). “The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him” (Psalm 34:7).
The angels were there that evening – only this time they were sent from the throne of God on an errand of mysterious importance. The Lord Jesus leaned from the battlements of heaven, opened a door, called a name, and waited while the angels bore into His presence our young Charles. On the top of a hill, the sudden flash of a truck turning unlawfully in front of him, a fatal crash and Charles was gone. God’s purposes are sure. There were more angels with Charles that moment than there had ever been before. And there were angels who had, I feel, a sacred privilege, for they carried Charles and presented him before the throne. I wonder if, as he suddenly stood before his Savior, he did not say “How do you do, Sir? I am Charles”. And I am sure the welcoming smile that greeted him banished all fear, all strangeness, and all questions. I can only imagine this scene; but I wait with longing for that time when I too will be there, and Charles will tell me about it.
For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 116: 8-9)
The Lord is my strength and song, and is become my salvation… I shall not die, but live, and declare the words of the Lord…Open to me the gates of righteousness: I will go into them, and I will praise the Lord: This gate of the Lord, into which the righteous shall enter. (Psalm 118: 14, 17, 19-20)
The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. (Psalm 121:7)
Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou has given me. (John 17:24)
The Lord opened a gate and bade His child, clothed in His own righteousness, to enter in. He asked that Charles, one of those the Father had given Him, be with Him where He is to behold His glory.
Who am I, that I would say no to Him? Or what am I that I would keep from that blest Presence this one I love so well? Charles – our Charles with his blond hair and wonderful smile – in that glory. His heart at rest, his journey done. His last enemy conquered. He does not have yet to die!
Charles will never again experience failure, frustration, sadness, regret, anger, shame, pain, sin or boredom.
Yes, God was in control that day, and the angelic hosts were there to carry out the perfect will of a loving heavenly Father.
Norman Beange
Charles’ Dad
I had no idea this website existed until i saw a link on a friends blog. I've had fun looking at all the pictures and reading things about Charles I didn't know. I can't believe it's been well over a year and it still brings tears to my eyes! Charles and I went to Bob Jones together and hung out every now and then. He was a very sweet guy and we always had a lot of fun! I will never forget him! Thanks for the memories!!
I have just had a wonderful evening with the Beange family here in Greenville, SC. I met with them at their hotel and then had dinner at Don Pablos, one of Charles favorite restaurants. It was good to see Mr. and Mrs Beange as well as Julia, Natalie, and James. This was my first time to see them since the memorial, and it has flooded me with memories. Over the past year, I have found myself thinking about Charles at the most random times. I miss him. He was as good of a friend as you could hope for. He gave without expecting anything in return. Looking at this website brings tears to my eyes. I some ways it seems like I was just hanging out with him yesterday, but in others it feels like an eternity since I've seen him. Anyway, it's been great to see his family again. God truly blessed him with wonderful parents, two beautiful sisters, and an awsome brother. I pray that God will continue to encourage them during this time. I have to remind myself that I will see Charles again. He is not gone forever, he has just gone ahead. "Charles, I haven't seen you in a little over a year now, and I miss you man. I truly look forward to seeing you again someday. I'm sure we can make up for the time we've missed."
Our family just returned on June 12 from a week in Paris. We had a wonderful time. The Lord is continuing to grant healing. Every time we were in a restaurant, there was always an empty sixth chair which I always seem to notice. During our many hours together as a family, which doesn’t happen as much any more as Julia and Natalie are away at university, we found grace to frequently talk about Charles.
Each day, for me at least, is a continual struggle; managing my roller coaster of emotions to focus on getting on with life and to grow in the Lord Jesus as He desires me to.
As a family, we are off to Bob Jones University in Greenville, S.C. in a couple of days for our youngest son James’ graduation from their home school academy. We are looking forward to visiting with a number of Charles’ old friends and professors and reliving some of the memories of numerous visits there over the last several years. For me, it will be a time of closure; a time of saying goodbye to some wonderful people who blessed Charles; a time of memories and, I pray, a time of continued healing.
Thank you to so many of you for visiting this website and for the emails, notes and phone calls we still get. Thank you for sharing with us. We continue to need your prayers. The Lord is good.
Norman Beange
Charles’ Dad
I had a dream the other night while sleeping... Charles came to visit me at my house after his death. I saw him coming through the window. I was struck with awe! How could this be? I missed you. It's so good to see you, I thought! Then I guess I woke up cause that's all I remember. It was so good to see him again. I can't wait until next time. Must have been the same feeling the Disciples had when seeing Jesus after the Cross. It was the most amazing thing. Next time I want to be awake though.
By the way Chales...I'm sure you already know but Susan and I got married. You believe that! I just wanted to say thanks for being there while we were going through hard times.
"Life is a vapor." That means, even if I live to be 100 years old, I will see you soon my friend!
I graduated from Taylor University Fort Wayne today and was thinking about Charles during the ceremony. I so wish he were there to celebrate with me. But I know that leaving is a part of life, and that he is where I want to be.
I love you, Charles, and missed you today at my graduation. I know you would have been so proud of me. I love you!
When Charles was finishing high school, he applied to three different Christian colleges. The applications asked Charles to describe his relationship with God. Last week, his Mom and I discovered Charles’ response in one of his file folders. The following was Charles’ answer to one of the university application questions about his faith.
“I was saved in October of 1989. I had always gone to church with my parents, and had understood from an early age the concept of salvation. I was taught in Sunday School that God loved everyone. Since Adam had sinned in the Garden of Eden, man was destined to die and spend an eternity in Hell, separated from God. Fortunately, God sent his Son, Jesus, to earth as a man and to die on a cross and take the punishment for all of man’s sin (John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.) Jesus then rose from the dead and went to Heaven. Since Christ died and took the punishment for our sin, we can be saved from an eternity in Hell and go to Heaven to be with God. (Romans 10:9 – that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;)
Until the day I was saved, I had tried to ignore the fact that I was destined for Hell, and that I wouldn’t go to Heaven. The idea of salvation seemed a little bit too simple to be true. I assumed that I wasn’t going to die any time in the near future, but if I did have a serious accident and were about to die, I would probably have a minute’s warning. This would leave me enough time to pray and be saved just before I died. It seemed to be a trivial issue, so I didn’t bother thinking about it.
Then one Sunday night, a man at my church preached a sermon about Hell. I finally realized that salvation was extremely important. I had to come to Christ now. I now realized that many people die instantly, without a second to make one last prayer. When I arrived home I went upstairs to my bedroom, knelt beside my bed and prayed. I admitted that I was a sinner (Romans 3:23 – for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,) I admitted that the only way into Heaven was through Christ (John 10:9 – I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.) I confessed my sin (Revelation 22:14 – Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter by the gates into the city.) and asked for forgiveness for my sin and trusted Christ (Romans 3:25 – whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed;) (1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.) I then asked Jesus to take control of my life. Things in my life changed after that. I didn’t suddenly stop sinning, but I now had a reason for trying not to sin. I knew that sin hurt God and that it brought consequences later.
I went to a summer boy’s camp in New York State, beginning in 1990. The camp is called JIM Club. JIM is an acronym for “Jesus Is Mine”. The camp describes itself as “Christian Leadership Training”. At camp, we got up every morning at 7:30 and had personal devotions for 45 minutes. This was an excellent way of preparing for the off season, when we would have to wake ourselves up and have devotions on our own. I spent two weeks there my first summer, and four weeks each summer after until 1998. I spent about one week in the summers of 1998 and 1999 helping with maintenance. If I had not attended JIM Club each summer as a young teenager, I have no idea where I would be spiritually, today. I still struggle to do my devotions on a regular basis, but those weeks at camp helped me significantly in my daily struggle to set aside time for them.
I was baptized in December 1998, and I regularly attend both morning and evening services at Markham Bible Chapel, where my family has been in fellowship since 1989. Most of my friends during my teen years have been from our church.
I think that a university education from a Christian perspective would benefit me substantially. Secular universities offer excellent education, but lack Biblical teaching. I think that all courses taken at a university should be based on what the Bible teaches.
The Bible may seem old fashioned or outdated to some. I believe that no matter what type of challenge faces a person, the Bible has principles which can and should be the foundation of the decision making process.
I plan on majoring in business. The book of Proverbs frequently discussed both the wise and foolish use of money. Christ Himself discussed money more than many other subjects. Since money is an integral part of business, I feel that education from a Biblical perspective is very important.”
Scripture passages taken from the New American Standard Bible
Norman Beange
Charles’ Dad
I've been thinking lately of how Charles would be graduating this coming Saturday at 9 am from Bob Jones. I'd be leaving today to go down.
It's made me think of all the awesome memories I have of the years Charles and I spent together in school.
One time, when Charles and I were about 10 and 11, mom made us write a creative story. "Charles writing a creative story?!?" you ask. Exactly. We sat on opposite ends of the dining room table, the excruciating minutes slowly ticking by... (sorry, mom:)
I particularly remember grade 10, when mom taught both of us economics. Our discussion times always turned into huge debates and those times were exhilarating.
Charles was always quick with math and science. I'd get completely frazzled over some chemistry equation and Charles would figure it out in no time flat. He had a knack for stuff like that-it frustrated me to no end!
This website got 700 visits this month. I have just recently become very concerned about the number of friends of Charles who might be looking at this site who don’t know God as Charles did. Without being presumptuous, I can say as Charles would if he were here, that the only way any one of us will ever enter Heaven is to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
As a boy, Charles was a good kid. He went to church with our family every week. We used to teach him Bible stories and pray with him regularly.
Charles was a good kid, but he did not know God. At one point in his childhood, Charles realized that it took more than going to church (religious stuff was O.K.) as a reason for God to let him into Heaven.
Charles realized that the only way he could cross the bottomless chasm before him was to accept the fact that the only hope of entering Heaven was to ask God to forgive him of his sins and to place his trust in Jesus Christ. This would give him the entrance into Heaven.
Charles made a spiritual decision to cross the chasm by accepting the fact that Jesus Christ died for his sins and that Jesus would stand in Charles’ place before God. Charles crossed the chasm and found eternal life.
In the last few years, Charles grew in his understanding of faith and the working of the Lord Jesus Christ in his life. Charles gradually changed. His Mom and I had many opportunities to see evidence of the changed life of Charles, evidence that his heart was changed. When Charles met death a year ago on April 6, 2004, he was immediately ushered into Heaven; into the presence of God where he now knows joy, excitement and wonderment, the likes of which he never experienced in this world.
If you are interested in knowing more about finding eternal life, please contact me at [email protected]. I will be more than glad to send you a booklet which I hope will be helpful. However, if you would rather not, I would encourage you to contact –
Christian Guidance Department, Billy Graham Evangelistic Assoc.
1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, NC 28201-0001 US
Email: [email protected] Website: billygraham.org
Tel: Toll Free – 1-877-247-2426
If you feel a need to know God, I would encourage you to pray (even right by your computer) the following prayer –
“Oh God, I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sin. I am willing to turn from my sin. I receive Jesus as my Saviour; I confess Him as my Lord. From now on I want to follow Him in the fellowship of His Church. In Jesus’ name. Amen”
We hope, through this website, you are able to understand your need as a sinner and your need for forgiveness. Christ has promised to forgive your sins when you ask. If you have committed your life to Christ, He has promised to give you eternal life. In eternity, if Charles or any one of our family would meet one of you in heaven as a result of you realizing your need as a sinner by looking at this website, we would be joyful beyond anything we could have envisioned.
If you would like to know more about Charles’ faith, just click on “About Charles”, then click on “Understanding Charles and His Faith” and follow the sequence of pages.
Norman Beange
Charles’ Dad
[Written by Michelle Gallagher, April 12, 2004]
In Memory of Charles Andrew Allan Beange
I remember…
My earliest memories of Charles go back to the school year of 1991, when I was about five years old. That year, the children in our home schooling group performed a play based on the book “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis.
There was such a swirl of excitement surrounding the preparations for the play’s opening night; there were rehearsals to do, backdrops to be painted, and costumes to be arranged. But somehow, under the patient supervision of the home schooling mothers, all the details fell into their proper place.
I remember…
Opening night finally arrived, and I was told for the last time that I was too young to be in the play, but would be allowed to hand out programs at the door. It was a small consolation, but I conceded.
I remember…
Natalie and I stood side by side in our little dresses, greeting the people who came in the door with a shy smile and a play program. When everyone had arrived, we took a seat with our parents, and watched the events of the play enfold on stage.
I knew the story well; imagine my excitement seeing it come to life before my very eyes! Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy were there, so was Tumnus, the faun, and Mr. and Mrs. Beaver. But I’m sure nothing could have prepared me for the appearance of Aslan on stage. I amy have not realized it at the time, but Aslan was really Charles disguised in a homemade lion costume featuring a long stropping tail and a shaggy yarn mane.
I remember…
Charles lit up the stage. He played Aslan with all the authority of voice and manner that could be conjured up by a ten-year-old boy. And when the play drew to a close and everyone assembled on the stage for a final bow, he stood there, paws held high and a huge grin on his face. There was no doubt in his expression: he knew he had done his very best.
These memories have been kept alive with photographs and a old bootlegged copy of the play that was filmed opening night. My family has watched it many times over the years, and it always made us laugh. It still makes us laugh, but now our laughter is mingled with tears. Not only for Charles, but also for the family he left behind. How can we imagine the agony of losing a son or a brother? If only there were something we could do that would make everything better! But there is nothing we can do…except pray.
How long, O Lord? How long will you ask your children to bear such sorrow in their hearts? Look on us and answer, O Lord our God. Let Your Light shine on us again. (Psalm 13)
Click here to view pictures of Charles in "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"
Last Wednesday, April 6 was the anniversary of Charles' death. Pauline and I were greatly encouraged by the body of Christ. We received ten bouquets, dinner invitations, visits, emails, a number of wonderful cards and phone calls. We were blessed beyond our expectations.
The Lord has been gracious. The pain is still of the same intensity but less frequent. My tears are daily but I am able to anticipate them far more than I used to. The sadness and loneliness comes and goes daily; the periods seem to be shorter. Thank you for the frequent emails of encouragement.
It seems I am more sensitive to other people's pain than I ever was before. I was in Calgary this past weekend with Julia "checking out" the University of Calgary for possible graduate studies for Julia. I was blessed to have breakfast with an old Briercrest College compatriot from the '60's. He told me of one of our mutual friends from school days. I knew she lost her sixteen year old son to suicide and now she has another son with terminal cancer. Please pray for Peggy and her family. They are going through something that I can barely relate to. There is a couple (mission representatives) Jim and Vegas, who live at Briercrest College in Saskatchewan. Their twenty-three year old daughter was killed last month, leaving one and two year old babies and a bereaved husband. Please pray for Jim and Vegas and their son-in-law. My pain is substantial enough. When I consider the pain of others, I am awed at the grace of the Lord Jesus.
Norman
Charles' Dad
A few nights ago some of Charles friends & I were grabbing coffee, sharing our favorite memories & suddenly this one crossed my mind. I recall a conversation Charles & I had about worship, I was telling him about how my friends & I from North Greenville went to see Third Day.(Charles & I discussed music often)a Christian band. That night they begain to play & The Lord just met us there face to face, his spirit just fell fresh over us that night. I had never experienced worship like that. After my story was over we were just silent & Charles just said He could not wait! Charles you do not have to my experience can not compare to you worshiping Our Lord & Savior everyday. While your worshiping there you are still missed here, but one day your friends & I are going to be there worshipping with you.
As spring nears I find myself remembering more and more the times I spent with Charles.
Spring is an odd time of year. It leads me to look back at winter and forward to summer. All of these seasons bring forth very fond memories of Charles.
I can remember boat rides at the cottage with all the dogs aboard. I remember snowshoeing through the forest and not knowing where we were or where we were headed. One of the best memories I have of Charles involves sitting around a fire talking. We loved to have a fire, sit back, relax, enjoy the night and talk. Those nights I remember so well, not so much what we talked about, but the atmosphere. I have a very vivid memories of Charles laughing in the light of the fire, such a distinct and joyous laugh.
He told me many times how lucky he felt he was to have a family such as his. He loved you all very deeply, and I am sure you can still feel that love to this very day.
Charles you are lucky to be in heaven, you are missed here very much by many people. We all love you.
It is spring in Carolina. The dogwoods are in blossom as they are every year in the first week of April. There is an overwhelming sense of spring, something that draws one to an open window to see the spectacle of life, to a chair on the porch where we can call out to a passing friend, to the budding forests and the hills to take in the fresh warm air.
Just as Charles was then, we are drawn to live life now. Not in the guarded confines of a room, but out beyond our doors and windows where it is not as safe, where pain and elation, defeat and victory await us. We are called to ride out.
As I respond to the call, I know the air air he breathes this minute is so much fresher and purer, the sights he sees so much beyond spectacular, the friends he calls out to always ready to respond in joy.
There are some people that have a singular connection. They could be friends or family. No matter how long you haven't seen them or spoken with them, there is an ease of being, a rapport, a humor, a light in the eye which washes away years of separation. Because of Christ in him, because of his personality and character, Charles is one of those.
We miss him. How long we will have to wait to see him again we do not know.
"We shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed...."
I was touched by the Choice Gleaning's Calendar verse in Revelation 5:8 - prayers of saints in golden bowls...I think of so many prayer that have ascended to the throne for your family, for strength and help for each day and task. Wonderful memories! He is coming soon! A new day will dawn. We will be in His presence together!
The sun is shining, and it’s a beautiful Spring Day. We have been waiting for a day like this for a long time. Grass is starting to grow, life emerging from the effects of winter.
Charles’ life is like the beautiful flowers we are going to see soon...budding from death, is a whole new appreciation for life...
This last year I have had the chance to live a life in the shoes of Charles...actually, a life in the room of Charles. The Beanges welcomed me into their home like a son, and I have often felt as though I had big shoes to fill...Charles’ legacy is a wonderful and colorful one.
I have witnessed the family grieve, each in their own heartfelt way. I have seen his brother, James begin to grow into the man Charles would have been so proud of. I have seen his sisters Natalie and Julia honor God with their lives and abilities from far away at school. I have seen his mom Pauline continue being his mom, loving him each day, unconditionally. I have seen his dad Norm reach up to heaven in the light of the sun room each morning, for grace, strength, communion, and joy. I never knew death could bring so much life.
Charles, I love you. You have made your family into such wonderful people. I can’t wait to see you in eternity.
A year ago Charles left us to be with Jesus. He is a lucky guy! For the last year, Charles has been busy discovering and learning about an infinite number of wonderful things. He has been re-acquainted with a number of good friends and relatives. He has known excitement, awe, and joy, the like of which he never experienced during his journey down here. In some ways, I experience moments when I am almost envious of him. The Scriptures, in the book of Hebrews, refer to a "great cloud of witnesses" who would seem to know, to some extent, some of the things that are happening "down here". I have to assume that Charles is part of the "cloud of witnesses" looking on from Heaven. Because he only knows joy, he cannot possibly know of our pain. He can only be excited for our good times, our successes and our joys.
Sometimes, during a really good day, I get alone and, for a few minutes, I am prayerfully quiet and I listen ever so carefully and on a couple of occasions I sort of thought I heard him cheering.
I visited his grave for the first time since last April and I am glad I went alone. It brought back some overwhelming, powerful memories. I am glad I went.
Charles, thank you for making me so proud. Thank you for making me a better person. Our roles of father and son have, in some respect, been reversed and I often ask myself "what would Charles do in this situation"
One of Charles' professors described Charles as unpretentious, joyful, willing to engage...I hope some day that I can be described as unpretentious and joyful. Thank you for the example Charles. Just think, when I get to Heaven it will be Charles who will show me around. It will be Charles who will be so excitedly telling me all about what he has been doing and learning. I will get to hear his voice again, to feel his hug, to see his wonderful smile and to hear his laughter.
Charles' Dad
I remember sitting at Charles' funeral listening to all the testimonies about him and thinking that I didn't really know the person he had become. I was more familiar with Charles as a little boy - running around at the cottage on the Island or that time he went camping with my family at Agawa Bay campground. I remember going on a hike with him around the forested and rocky point to get to the next bay. Or the day we all went for a hike up a little mountain - it was very steep and the day was hot and muggy and by the time we got to the top we were beat - Mom took a picture of us at the top and none of us is smiling, not even Charles, cause we all felt so miserable! Norm, Paulie, Julia, Natalie and James, I'm praying that God will give you comfort and strength on this anniversary date of Charles' homegoing.
Love,
Amy
Having worked on this website for the past year, I fully realize that Charles lived an inspiring life full of integrity and dedication. I believe his mom summed it up best – Charles crammed 100 years worth of life experiences into his 23 years. I only wish I had the opportunity to know him better - for whom he truly was as an individual – during the short time that I have known him. The numerous photographs and messages portrayed throughout this website is a true testimony of how he influenced many lives during his time here on earth, and marked an everlasting impression among his family and friends.
Rest in peace, my friend in Heaven.
Last year at this time I had just received the call from dad to say that Charles was dead. I remember looking at our family picture posted on my dorm room door and couldn't compute that he was gone.
Those first few weeks were a nightmare that I never wish to experience again. As the numbness wore off, I still couldn't get used to the fact that Charles was in heaven and no longer on earth.
God has taught me so much this year, and it was through Charles' death that the Lord was able to show me the things he did.
Charles, I don't know exactly what you've been up to for the past year in heaven, but I know you're having a blast and are worshipping our Savior right now.
I wish you were still here and that we could grow up together. I've missed you every single day since you went to heaven.
I love you so much and will never, ever forget you. I can't wait to see you in heaven someday!
Love,
Your sister Julia
it was almost a year ago diane called me to say
Charles Beange died. I thought no that was years ago Mr. Beange died. She said no Charles I went to my knees and prayed it wasnt true. I could not beleive the pain. I went to work where he worked and found it to be true. I never met a more eager happy person in my life I asked why him why him. I met with his parents Norm and Pauline and I knew the answer. It wasn't why him for the fact he was gone. it was god had a higher reason for him and we were left behind. His mom let me know she would help me see this. His dad well I work for him but he helped me see it to. Charles was taken from us but I know and have to beleive Jesus needed him more. There will never be a better reason and I beleive this to be true because he was a great kid and a wonderful person.
When Charles was gone I prayed for his family and then I started praying for mine and I beleive that the answers are in God not us and if we hold true hope will spring eternal. Charles will be my sign and my hope springs eternal. The Beange Family I love you and I am so thankful everyday for the example you show to all of us. I wanted to curse and be angry but I am of a logical mind Charles was meant for a greater purpose and I beleive that is Gods work.
It feels like years since you’ve been here
But the day you left seems so near
The times we had through the years
Brought us joy, happiness and even some tears
Yet looking back I enjoy each one
Each memory, thinking back on what we’d done
My dear friend I miss you so
I don’t think, how much, you will ever know
To hear your laugh I would pay a steep price
This is a great tradgety, that you lost your life
Yet not understanding this, I press on
I will build my life around what you built yours upon
Charles, I want to live a life that honours and remembers you
I will not forget all the things we went through
Your memories remain in my mind and heart
You lived a life that was set apart
You became a man of honour and spirtual things
You showed great strength through all the difficult things
I will seek my Savior, Lord and King
One day I will see you, in Glory,
And His praises we can sing,
Together!!
We first met Norman and Pauline in Stratford, Ontario at the National Homeschool Leadership Conference.(Sept 2002) We heard harp music coming from the room across from our's at the hotel and later found out it had been Natalie practising for her performance that night. Cathy performed her "Ned from Newfoundland" skit that evening as well and upon returning to the hotel room, Norm and Pauline invited us into their room for a chat. We met Natalie and James that weekend and heard about and saw pictures of Charles and Julie.
Last year, July 1-2, 2004, Norman and Pauline arrived in NFLD as the speakers for our provincial conference. We had a small group so it was a very intimate and healing time for Norman and Pauline. The families that attended that conference are sincerely grateful to Norm and Pauline for coming to us just after their tragic loss. We hope we have helped alleviate some of your pain and we feel we actually know Charles now, even though none of us had the privilege of meeting him. One day we will and it will be a honour!
This poem was left on Charles’ grave by some of his friends.
Dear Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie and James
Think of stepping on a shore,
And finding it is heaven!
Think of taking hold of a hand,
And finding it is God's hand!
Think of breathing new air,
And finding it is celestial air!
Think of feeling invigorated,
And finding it is immortality!
Think of passing from storm and tempest
To an unknown calm!
Think of waking up,
And finding it heaven!
With Love from Friends
Well, today is Saint Patricks day; and Greenville always has this really fun Irish family festival downtown. So, Charles & I went to see how it was, I heard all about Julia who I was going to meet that weekend, I remember that big grin planted on his face. He was so excited to see her & for all his friends to meet her. I remember we both bought funnel cakes at the festival which were covered in powdered sugar as we were walking and talking i think we were both getting all this sugar accumulating on our faces although mine was much worse so I didn't get to live that one down for a while! :) I think that is one of the things i miss the most; just walking around downtown with Charles, which we would do often watching the people go by talking, laughing, etc. They are such cherished memories.
The other day I looked at the 2003 Christmas picture held to the door of our refrigerator by a magnet. Charles eyes looked back at me. At that moment, the rest of the picture seemed to disappear from view.
A couple of days later, I was standing amongst brothers and sisters in Christ, eyes closed, hands raised, singing and praying praises to God.
In that moment, I was reminded of some passages from the Word of God. One tells us of the throne room in heaven and that the temple, the dwelling place of God on earth, is the footstool of that throne. Another tells us that we worship the Lord at that footstool. It tells us that God inhabits, He dwells within the praises of His people, as if those praises became a temple.
In that same moment, eyes closed and hands raised, there was no vision, but there was a realization. In my mind, for the briefest of moments, Charles' smiling eyes glanced my way from among a great cloud of souls praising God. I suddenly realized the continuity of God's perspective. He knows our finite perspective is but a glance away from the eternal. It is all one to Him and it should be to us, "On earth as it is in heaven".
Worship is one way that happens. We, who know the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe, the providential hand that guides our days, the One who became as one of us, died and could not be held by death, are given voices and the uniquely human expression of music to fashion a dwelling place of praise. In those moments, the gap between heaven and earth closes as the presence of the Living One thunders and flashes amongst and within us and quietly speaks to our deepest being. The sheer power and peaceful intimacy bring us to a humble communion with our Creator.
Every once in awhile, something related to Charles reveals a deeper truth about the Lord we both worship. "Both worship" - at the same time, in different places, yet one reality. Charles' worship is unbroken, as he stands among that great cloud of witnesses giving testimony to the unsurpassing greatness of Jesus the Christ. Mine is stumbling and wooden at times and then there are times when the distance between the heavenly throne and this temple is as nothing.
I miss Charles at the oddest times and in, sometimes surprising ways. However, I am grateful for what our (he and the rest of us) present reality is teaching me about my life and purpose now and about my destiny in Christ.
Charles smiling eyes lead me to a new perspective. What are my eyes saying?
It'll be a year this coming weekend-March 19-that I flew down to Greenville, South Carolina, to visit Charles for the weekend.
He called me up one day and suggested that I fly down to visit him at the beginning of my spring break and then fly home for the rest of my school holiday. All the flight stuff worked out, and it was so fun going to visit him. I remember packing WAY too much stuff and he couldn't figure out why I needed so much stuff!
I remember meeting him at the airport and when we left the parking garage, he joked around with the parking attendant-nothing at all unusual for Charles. The man seemed like he needed to talk, and like he always did, Charles joked with him and had a friendly conversation.
The weekend was a blast. I remember that time with incredible detail and have re-lived that weekend so often.
We stopped at Walmart to get some car oil and some house items that I insisted he needed-such as a vacuum and ironing board. Well, most 'normal' customers swipe their credit cards at the cash register and then neatly sign their names with the computer pen on the little computer screen. Not Charles. He said, "Julia, like they ever look at all these signatures. And even if they do find a weird one, it's not like they'd track you down to get the right one." So he proceeded to scribble all along the signature block (in place of his signature) and the print-out of the reciept has this completely illegibal scribble-and I still have it today. It just struck me as funny, since Charles always liked to test the 'rules.' It's fun things like that incident that I remember from the weekend.
I remember Charles painting lines at norman b inding . We all had issues that there were no barriers and he said any good driver would be ok well let me tell you we all had issues He pretended that judgement for the way we parked was up to us and decent drivers would be able to to do it. Charles pulls up in the big Yukon goes over the curp and parks in the middle of the parking lot like his dad would do. I chased him through the plant ranting and raving and all he do was laugh. Ya see he could not park there either . i miss Charles so much but my memories are when he was 7 or 8 and he would always spend time with me. He would risk getting in trouble to have a little fun. He was like a nefhew to me. he made me smile laugh and just make me happy joyce
As each day, and month passes I (thankfully) find myself remembering many of the wonderful memories that I have of Charles.
Today I was out on my snowmobile and found myself thinking how much Charles would have loved to be riding around the lakes and trails with me this winter. I remember the first time we were out on the Beange's sled at the cottage and what a thrill it was to both of us. I wish he was here now.
As time pushes forward I look back at the past with such warmth and joy. It is hard to describe but I am sure many others feel the same way. If I could go back in time I would love to spend just one more day with him. As many others do I miss him very very much.
To the Beanges: I pray that God will give you clarity for each day ahead and strength, I pray that He will lend you His strength and carry you through the hard times.
Our family continues to get emails, cards and words of encouragement from the saints who are continuing to pray for us. Our personal lives are evolving. We are still experiencing "first's" since Charles died.
One of Charles' friends that had visited him just a year ago in Greenville recently wrote us a letter in which he quoted Charles as telling him just last February, "my parents have given me such a full life already and I am only 23. I have seen the world and met a lot of people and done a lot of neat things. I am lucky. I have had a full, life, man."
This website is generating more activity each month. Please keep praying. We keep changing; change is hard to get used to. I keep thinking in my down times, "Charles is a lucky guy, eh?"
Norman Beange
Charles' Dad
Dear Norm and Pauline,
Sharon opened the mail today while I was eating lunch during which she made a remark about Charles in the picture. Hadn`t noticed what was in the mail until her remark about the nice picture of the Beange family and how nice Charles looked. Thanks for sending the picture taken at Christmas, 2003. She said Charles looks like Norm. Thanks for the picture and letter. We continue to pray for you and each of the children. But that picture of Charles brings back memories of the times I`ve been in the Beange home. The times I was there, Charles never said much but it was evident he enjoyed teasing his Dad in particular. Every so often we would be talking about the time Norm and I were roommates at Caronport High School in 1965,66 and he would say " Max, tell us some stories about Dad while you were students, some that he has never told us and some he may not want to tell us ". So to Charles` amusement and most likely to the rest of the family, some stories would be told. He enjoyed the one especially about Ray M. getting a care package from home, inviting Norm to his room to share some of the good food. The part he loved best was to hear that Norm would step out of the room once he had feasted well and yell down the hall " Care package in Ray`s room if anyone is interested ". Ray would dash out to the hall while
yelling " Beange, I`m going to get you ". Norm would walk on down the hall chuckling to himself. I can still see Charles laughing at that one, which may have been his favourite. He enjoyed a good laugh and teasing his Dad because he knew his Dad loved him and was glad Charles got some laughs even at his expense, all in good fun. What a blessing to see him enjoy that. You could sense the Lord`s presence in the Beange home and the laughter of Charles was part of it. Now his joy is full as he rejoices with the Lord Jesus. Charles is Home but the warmth of his laughter lives on.
Thanking God for the Beange family and special memories of Charles,
Mac
We cannot imagine the pain, but we also cannot fathom the strength and grace that God gives in our time of need. Enjoyed looking at the pictures as we never had the privilege of knowing Charles. The website is a wonderful memorial. Thank you for the family photo that we received in your letter.
I got to know Charles at BJU primarily through Mark and Janete Myers and because we sat close together in some of our classes. One of the things I remember most about Charles is that he was always quick with a joke. And not a stupid joke either! One of the things that impressed me most about Charles was his quick, clear intellegence. Although Charles' passing was sudden and tragic I'm glad that his memory and his God are being honored in his wake. To those closest to Charles, I want to say, "you are in my thoughts and prayers and may God grant you strength and peace for the days ahead."
I'm in Arkansas with some friends from school, and today we went into a huge camping and sports equipment store. It was the first time I had looked at all that stuff since Charles died, and I thought of all the times I had shopped for all that equipment for him...snowmobile gloves, camping gear, a wet suit, etc. It was so hard to look at those items in the store.
But looking at the kayaks reminded me of the summer that the six of us stayed in cabins by the Pacific Ocean and spent an afternoon kayaking in the ocean. I remembered Charles' enthusiasm for snowmobiling at the cottage and for blazing a trail through the woods during the summer so we'd have a great trail to use in the winter.
I remembered Charles' love for waterskiing and the way he'd skim through the water and leave a spray of water behind him as he crossed the wake of the boat. I remembered him taking us kids out a year ago this past summer and letting James practice wakeboarding...and being patient with him.
Charles loved going fast-whether it was in the water or snow. I loved the way he had a knack with all his toys and gained so much enjoyment from working on them and hearing them run beautifully. He loved the hum of a motor.
I'm in Arkansas with some friends from school, and today we went into a huge camping and sports equipment store. It was the first time I had looked at all that stuff since Charles died, and I thought of all the times I had shopped for all that equipment for him...snowmobile gloves, camping gear, a wet suit, etc. It was so hard to look at those items in the store.
But looking at the kayaks reminded me of the summer that the six of us stayed in cabins by the Pacific Ocean and spent an afternoon kayaking in the ocean. I remembered Charles' enthusiasm for snowmobiling at the cottage and for blazing a trail through the woods during the summer so we'd have a great trail to use in the winter.
I remembered Charles' love for waterskiing and the way he'd skim through the water and leave a spray of water behind him as he crossed the wake of the boat. I remembered him taking us kids out a year ago this past summer and letting James practice wakeboarding...and being patient with him.
Charles loved going fast-whether it was in the water or snow. I loved the way he had a knack with all his toys and gained so much enjoyment from working on them and hearing them run beautifully. He loved the hum of a motor.
Last weekend, a couple of friends & I grabbed pizza at Barleys, which was by far one of Charles favorite places! "I mean where else can you get a massive slice of pizza for two bucks?" He would say! As i sat there i recalled all our conversations mostly about life how it ticks, and the people in it, and just remembered the good times we had there, I very unlike myself was quiet most of the time we were there, This is where we had the beach house versus the cottage discussion, he won out because at his cottage he had both advantages, the water and the snow!
Today, January 6th is Charles’ Birthday. If he were still with us, he would have been 24. His mother and I are reminiscent of many exciting birthdays, lots of pictures, and lots of good times. Charles is in a place where there is no time anymore, no more birthdays. Charles will never grow old; never have wrinkles or gray hair. Where Charles is, there is no time, only joyfulness; he will never again face disappointment, failure, pain, loss, and sadness. Lucky guy, isn’t he. In my down times, I sometimes get envious of him.
Thank you to so many people who are praying for our family. Thanks for the cards, emails, letters and postings on Charles’ website. We treasure all of these.
Thank you again to each and every one of you.
Charles Dad
Norm
The Beange family is presently floating around the Carribean. We left the day after Christmas and James, Pauline, and I return to Toronto January 2 and Julia and Natalie fly directly back to Taylor University.
Thank you ever so much to all the wonderful friends of Charles and of our family who have sent numerous Christmas cards saying that we're being prayed for regularly. We're all very thankful for the continued letters, e-mails, phone calls, and visits that assure us that we're continually held up in prayer.
I'm learning to gradually accept the challenge of getting through each day. My emotions continue to change and frequently catch me off guard. I'm beginning to accept-at least mentally-the reality that my life is permanently changed, that I'll continue to change, and that that my future will be much more different than I ever would have thought before Charles died.
His mom and I have continued assurance that Charles is having an unbelievably wonderful time in heaven. He's already experiencing never-ending discoveries, new experiences, the joy of knowing countless people, and most importantly, the wonderment of worshipping our Lord Jesus.
I think of him several times every day. I miss him more than I ever could have imagined. I somehow think that when we're together at the Judgement Seat of Christ, that when it's Charles' turn, that we'll hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
Thank you all again ever so much for your prayers, encouragement, support, understanding, visits, and friendship.
It was a year ago this week that our family was in Barbados. One day the four of us kids went scuba diving, and Charles loved it. He loved trying new things, figuring out how things worked, and experimenting once he grasped the concept. He took charge of the outing: got us to the scuba place, organized us, made sure we each had our equipment...it was always neat to see him lead in an unassuming manner.
Charles also had something for the sun-he spent a lot of time during our holiday walking up and down the beach, listening to music. But he got sunburned almost every time...
Janette and I were 2 of Charles many friends from college. I still remember when Charles arrived. He came into the room I was hanging out in. He was so friendly! As soon as he put his stuff down he and I started talking and instantly became friends. Charles and I hit it off so well because we were interested in many of the same things like fast cars, and waterskiing. Janette and I were only at college with Charles for one year but in that year we had so much fun.
When we moved back to PA we would talk to Charles often. He would come stay at our house while Natalie was at a music camp in Philadelphia. We always had a great time. There was never a dull moment with Charles. Another reason he love to come to PA is my brother had a Camaro Z28 and my dad has a Corvette. Charles sure loved to go fast. We actually have a picture of Charles in the Camaro that I will send to be posted.
Charles was a great guy and a wonderful friend. He is truly missed! We consider ourselves blessed to have been able to spend time with him although it was short.
When I think of Charles, I remember someone who was so full of life and really made you feel at ease and comfortable when you were around him. I remember his love for his dogs, especially Maddy, drives to and from youth group, cottage trips, and discussing our mutual love for a good Tim Hortons coffee.
He truly had a gift of making people feel special when they were around him.
I want you to know I'm praying for you on this Christmas day. I was thinking about Charles today...how he's with the Christ we're celebrating today. He's not just reading the account in Luke or thinking about what it must have been like in that stable...he's in the presence of the Christ that was that baby in the manger! I envy him in a way.
You're all in my thoughts and prayers
I grabbed lunch with a co-worker today, we began to talk about how people just pop into our lives and make an impact. Charles was the first person that came to mind, WOW, did he live every day to the fullest! I think he viewed each morning as an opprotunity, to love life, love those in it and see each day richly filled to the brim, actually with Charles i would say the every day cup of life overflowed with new ideas, smiles, laughter and excitement, man Charles, i want to be that way. I Miss you.
Today is the first snow since Charles died. I remember one Christmas when mom and dad gave the four of us a group gift, and we pulled snowmobile helmets out of the package! Charles was thrilled and drove the snowmobile around the house again and again and again. The scenery must have become dull after awhile, but he never tired of gunnning it and speeding around the yard!
I miss charles for all the laughter. I remember when his dad sent him to my townhome while on maternity leave to hook up a fax machine we both knew it was an electric plug in an a phone plug in but Norm insisted. I gave fool proof instructions on how to get there he got lost not for a minute but an hour. He called and I gave better instructions well we laughed and I promised to never to tell his dad it so Charles.
Dear Norm, Pauline, Natalie, Julie and James: What a wonderful tribute to Charles are the many comments on the Website. They must bring comfort and joy to your heart that so many respond in a loving, caring way. Charles is wonderfully free of the issues of this life. You are all left with the ongoing suffering of your loss. May our gracious God, sovereign in His dealings with us, give you the strength, grace and wisdom to cast your cares on Him and to draw upon His sufficiency for each day. Such a painful loss as you have experienced powerfully reminds all of us how transient is life here. Nevertheless it is crucial that while we are here we study the ways of God and learn to understand and accept them. The perfecting work of His Spirit and life's circumstances can be gruelling - but rewarding. We pray for you that God's peace will flood your hearts as you face each day, and especially those special times such as this season. We love you and care. Thank you for your letter and the articles you sent. They are a blessing and speak well of Charles - and of you as a family. Lots of love and trust that this Christmas will be sweet and significant for all of you in spite of the empty space. Arnold and Frances.
I just wanted you all to know that I am still praying for you all... you are in my thoughts often.
The other day at breakfast my son Lucas asked me about the picture by the refrigerator. "Dad, who is that man in the picture?" "That's Charles, your cousin. He ....."
Lucas and I talked for several minutes about Charles, what he was like and where he is. It was a teachable moment with Lucas and a pause to remember "the man at the waterfall". A boy of six, a man of 45 sitting across from each other at the breakfast table talking about a cousin's legacy of character. Those moments are so quietly momentous.
I got up from the table after our conversation. While I was pushing in my chair, Lucas looked up and remarked, "Dad, I wish I knew him - I wish I knew Charles." I thought out loud,"You would have liked him."
As I went to get ready for work, I passed by the fridge and saw the picture there. I smiled. Thanks Charles. Thank You Lord.
I drove down to Greenville, South Carolina two weeks ago to visit Charles' friends and to "see" him again.
I went to the accident site-my mind still can't compute that he's not here anymore. Then I went to his apartment, which strangely, is still vacant after seven months. The superintendant was very understanding and gave me a key to Charles' apartment.
I didn't quite know what to expect...I think my heart just wanted to pretend that I'd find him there. I visited him two weeks before he died, so my mind kept flashing picture after picture of where things used to be...
His computer parts strewn all over the floor, his Dalmatian towel hanging on the back of the bathroom door, his Tim Horton's coffee tin sitting on the counter, his animal crackers in the cupboard, his laundry baskets overflowing onto the floor in his room, all his socks in one basket (why would you match them?!), his Bible laying open on his bed, his shoes scattered by the door, his pictures of his family and letters from us on his fridge, his massive cleaning supply under the sink (he was quite proud that his apartment wasn't dirty), his Maple Leaf jersey pinned on the wall, Maple Leaf mat on the floor in the entrance area/family room, and Maple Leaf fold-out chair in the family room.
I recalled how we hung out together when I was down... when we went to Waffle House and he made conversation with the waitress and made her feel special...when we went to Walmart and priced rabbit cages because he desperately wanted one, even though they weren't allowed in his apartment:)...when I got to hang out with many of his friends...when we went to his church that he loved...when we had a 'heart-to-heart' one afternoon, me sitting on his chair and he on the couch-clearing everything up since childhood and beginning with clean slates and how we stood in the middle of the family room, tightly embracing one another with tears running down both our cheeks and him saying, "I love you."
When I woke him up early on the Monday morning for my ride to the airport...I remember what I wore and what he wore. When we drove to the airport in silence because we were too tired to talk. When we pulled up to the drop-off, unloaded my two bags and hugged for the last time.
I didn't know that that was the last time that I'd feel his embrace or hear him say, "I love you." I can hardly wait till I see him again and hug him again in heaven.
A friend of his told me after he died that Charles was nervous about my visit because he knew there were some things to clear up, and that he was determined to clear them up, which we did. This friend said that after I left, Charles was excited that we had cleared everything up and that he was certain that we'd be much closer since we talked about everything.
What an awesome brother he was. I love him so much.
Natalie and I were in Target tonight and stumbled upon the card section-not just any cards, but the Far Side cards.
As we sat there-well, okay, I was the one who made myself comfy on the ground-and cracked up at the jokes, I couldn't help but remember Charles' love for Far Side humor. How he'd heartily laugh at every comic in the books he had. How he'd lovingly poke fun at us so we wouldn't take ourselves so seriously.
Man, I miss him so much. It still hasn't sunk in that he's not coming home. I want to show him all the cards I found tonight and have him share in my delight. But he's having the time of his life right now and I can't wait to join him.
Every morning when I go to the refrigerator to pull out the milk carton, I see the picture of Charles sitting in front of the waterfall.
He is fixed in my mind. Sometimes, I just can't help thinking he will come visit us somewhere down the line. I have to shake myself and and refocus. Sometimes, the reaction within me is silence. Charles, the person, the good natured, wise-cracking nephew is not around. A sense of loss sets in and I reflect on my life. I smile because it is hard not to when one thinks of Charles, sip my coffee and move on into my day.
There isn't anything nostalgic I can catch hold of when I think of Charles, only the present. I remember not what he did, but what he was like.(No pretensions. No laziness in work. No lack of laughter in leisure. Life is a ride to enjoy. The limits are meant to be tested. Ask for deals and remember favors. Machines can be fixed. People matter. Family matters. Cars matter. There are very few things that don't have a humorous side to them.)
There are times when I see that picture and I pray in gratitude for life and in concern for my sister and brother-in-law and my nephew and nieces. And, from a distance I see what they are becoming. That makes me smile. It makes me quiet before God in gratitude for His faithfulness.
Life lies before. Heaven awaits. Get in the car and drive.
TCW
Over six months has passed since Charles went to be with the Lord. The time since his death has been profoundly painful for his Mother and me and his two sisters, Julia and Natalie and his younger brother, James. The Lord has been gracious. Healing has been taking place. Each of our family has felt the Lord’s grace in innumerable ways and times.
As a family, we want to make a public acknowledgement of thankfulness to all of the wonderful saints who have posted messages on this website, who have emailed or written condolences, and who have faithfully prayed for us. The body of Christ has been supportive, compassionate, helpful in numerous practical ways of caring and, at all times, gracious. Thanks to the number of friends who have sent pictures of Charles, either digitally or by mail. Thank you for the numerous phone calls and comments about this website. It has been a source of comfort, memories and solace for a number of people who have commented about it.
Charles’ sisters, Julia and Natalie are at Taylor University in Indiana (Julia, a senior, and Natalie, a freshman). James, aged 17, is still at home being home schooled in grade 12.
Our lives and family dynamics are different since Charles’ death. I prayed fifteen minutes after we received the phone call about Charles that, as a family, we would know the Lord’s direction as we made decisions regarding the funeral and all of the countless things involved with it, and that whatever would transpire, the Lord would be glorified. Lastly, my prayer was that each of our family would be more like the Lord Jesus because of this tragedy. I believe the Lord has most definitely answered this prayer. He did give grace, wisdom and strength the following weeks. I believe He has been glorified in more ways than we can know. I believe that each one in our family is gradually becoming more like the Lord Jesus.
Each of our family still has a long hard journey ahead and I would ask for your continued prayers for the future. We still have hard times to live through such as Christmas without Charles, his birthday January 6, and the anniversary of his death April 6. These dates on the calendar will be profoundly hard. We still have to put a headstone on his grave with the appropriate wording.
Thank you again for your prayers and your encouragement. Thank you to so many of you for blessing us. In all the pain and loneliness that we have gone through since Charles died, I can say, with conviction greater than I have ever had before that the Lord is good.
Charles’ Dad
Its so hard for me to write and put into words my sadness for such a great loss. However, I just wanted to say that I miss Charles every single day and I want the Beange family to know I feel as though I have lost a family member as well.
Charles' awesome sense of humor always made our family times hilarious. My family just spent the weekend together, and at one dinner while we were laughing and having a great time, I couldn't help but desperately want to call him up and to tell him to join us. His unusual perspective of life and people combined with his sense of humor always made for a great time together.
Today its been exactly 6 months...and all I can express is with every person I encounter I realize just how absolutely wonderful and unique you were Charles.
To Norm and family
With deepest sympathy and condolences. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time
Robert and Tara (OPM 17)
Aubrey House
Rottingdean
UK
It has been six months today that Charles left us and it still doesn't seem quite possible - when I think of it I'm still a little surprized. I have enjoyed so much coming to this page and reading other people's memories and impressions of him. My last contact with Charles was in January of 2002 when I flew to Toronto for a visit with his family. I remember all of us sitting around the dining room table over supper, everyone talking and laughing. My father and Norm are brothers and two more different people you cannot imagine. Our respective families are pretty much night and day. Coming from a quieter family it was fun to see and feel the energy and enthusiams that marks their family. Another thing I remember from that trip that stands out in my memory is when we all piled into the suburban and went to the airport - Julia and Charles were both off to school after the break and I was going back to Manitoba. What stood out to me was the goodbyes. I remember Charles and Natalie hugging tightly and holding on for awhile. You could see they were upset by the parting and that they would really miss each other. It was special to see such affection between a brother and sister and it's something I'll never forget.
I just miss our talks, Charles always said what he thought, i always knew the advice he gave, the words he said were just solid and genuine, we used to sit outside against the door of his appartment at times and talk for hours, i miss that terribly. Funny both our families traveled we always swapped stories, for families in such different areas ours were so similiar, Charles had a way of when people talked to make them feel like they were the only person in the room..
I really miss the way Charles was so protective of us kids-he was always concerned for us and didn't mind expressing what he thought. I loved the way he loved each of us so much.
I’ve come to Charles webpage and message board several times over the past couple of months and have always considered writing something, but never have. Today I decided I would.
Though I only met Charles once, I feel like I know him because of all that I have heard about him—and my one encounter with him mirrors everything that is said about him. If I had known him better I’m sure I would have loved him, just like so many of you do.
I am blessed by every memory I have of the Beange family, though seeing you all grieving was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced. But overriding all of that I have seen your beautiful faith and dependence upon the Lord become even stronger and deeper since April 6th. Thank you all for loving Jesus so much and for exemplifying true faith in the midst of heartache. May you continue in His way.
My thoughts and prayers are still with you.
I was one of Charles' best friends in grades 5-8. We went to the same church, were in the same Sunday School class, participated in Awana together, went to the same camp--JIM club--and spent a lot of time at each others' houses.
Charles and I got along really well. I especially loved joining him at his home. We'd play with and learn about rabbits (I soon got two of my own from the Beanges; both had litters), jump on the trampoline, and join in hearty conversation with the family over the dinner table--full of "meanwhile, back at the ranch"'s from Mr. Beange.
And who can forget Charles' birthday parties? I think we always had hot chicken wings. I loved them! I loved them so much, I asked Mrs. Beange for the recipe, and then made them at home myself.
I remember we went to the Hamilton games a couple times. I always loved going; getting autographs especially. Once we saw Ben Johnson run. That was fun for a kid who had heard so much about him.
Another time we went out fishing on Lake Ontario. We rented a big boat, and I think we all ended up catching something. (I remember cleaning my fish in my basement that night.) The picture of us all lined up with our catch is etched in my mind. I think it's in my childhood photo album at home.
I think my greatest memory of Charles isn't one I experienced personally; it's the one--the many--I see imprinted on the lives of the people Charles and I knew in common, and the people I've read about on this website. You see, when I left with my parents to Zambia in 1995--the beginning of grade 9 for Charles and myself--it was difficult for Charles and myself to keep in touch, so we kind of drifted apart. I think we wrote a couple letters to each other, and we wanted to keep in touch, but it's hard for young boys half a world apart.
I remember trying to get in touch with Charles when I returned to Canada, but it just didn't work out. I'm sorry, because I would have liked to know the man Charles became.
Regardless, reading and seeing who Charles became has blessed me. I have been shown how his attitude was one of joy, how his smile was for whoever was nearby, how his heart was for God and others, how his purpose was sure and eternal, how his manner was fun-loving, how his humour lifted spirits, how his interest in others was genuine, and how his belief in Jesus was so real it caused him shout and yell and throw his hands in the air with happiness when one of his campers got saved.
All I can say is, isn't God amazing? And isn't it wonderful that Charles knew and *lived* Him? And could it be a possibility that God couldn't wait to bring Charles home? I get goosebumps just *thinking* about the reality and meaning and HOPE of it all. Hallelujah!
I'm here at university taking a marketing class, MKT 231, the same class Charles took during his time at BJU. Sitting in class I wonder where he might have sat if he was in the same classroom, what jokes he would make, if he'd volunteer to do a presentation like I did. I'm scared to do it, but I know he'd just say, "Natalie, who are you trying to fool? Just get up there and do it, you know you're gonna be good." I miss him so many times everyday and hope he sees what I'm doing and is proud of me.
I remember going by Charles apt. for the first time in Jan. There were computer parts laying everywhere and books scattered. I remember thinking Oh hes just moving in.Two months later it was still the same computer parts scattered books everywhere. I remember i always gave him a hard time "SO Charles still moving in eh?" He always responded "ummm....well its a process...so want to help me clean the apt?"! Somehow i got suckered into cleaning :)! It was especially funny though when Andrew came to visit, he took Charles shopping they got a clock and a jacket hanger, and completely rearranged the apt. He called me that day so excited..."I HAD to come see the new apt!" So, i did, he had the BIGGEST GRIN...it looked great and go figure the books were in place and the computer parts were in a big pile instead of scattered!
just something that made me smile today: i'm 20 years old, approaching my senior year, and don't have my driver's license. since the moment charles found that out about me a couple of years ago, hardly a week went by without him asking me if i'd gotten it. he told me that if i didn't have it by my senior year he was going to take me to the DMV and make me take the test himself. I'm going this friday to get it and if charles was with us still he would have been the first one i would have called to tell. it frustrated him so much that someone my age couldn't drive!
Thank you for this web page. What a wonderful way to share Charles life with the rest of us. Being really friends of you both, Norm and Polly, we have heard about the kids from a parent's perspective. But to hear from all of Charles peers just warms my heart and gives a bigger picture of his very full life. We knew how you felt about your kids (parents are allowed to be proud!) but to hear from his pals reinforces everything you have said. To look at the pictures and see the comments makes me feel that this is all a huge bad dream and he really is still here!
My heart goes out to you all especially after Julia's message that nothing is the same without Charles in the picture. I will be remembering you Julia as you go off to school, that God in His grace and mercy will be your comfort and encouragement and help you through difficult days ahead. Likewise, Natalie and James, as you persue life's direction ,I pray that you will find comfort knowing that you are being prayed for daily and you will never be alone as God will always be carrying you even when you don't sence Him.
Isaiah 41:10 "Be not afraid, I am with you.
Don't anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. "
Thank you guys, for the wonderful package you sent us...I am taking it to the cottage to sit quietly and read and reflect on it. That was a lot of work and it is very much appreciated.
Love you all. Our prayers will continue.
This is my last night at home before I go to school, and it was always such a crazy time when Charles was around. We'd both normally be packing for school, and his stuff would be scattered all over the place. Somehow, he usually convinced Natalie and me that we should help him pack, and we'd all stay up late and do it together. Then he'd usually find some excuse to go for a drive-but not just by himself. Holly (one of our three Dalmatians) would sit contentedly in the passenger seat and Maddy and Samantha would sit in the backseat, each with their heads stretched out the window with their ears flying and flapping in the wind.
I don't know why that memory sticks out in my mind. Perhaps because it always signalled the beginning of a new season.
I remember when Charles and I where young, we built this tree fort at the his family’s cottage on the Manatulin Island. It was built in this huge oak tree with two massive branches reaching out like arms. My brother put the floor boards down a few years early, so Charles and I got the brilliant idea of adding walls to it and making a tarp roof. Julia and Natalie wanted to help us, but after a few days, we got annoyed and kicked them out (Sorry!!). We slept a night in the tree when we finished, and of course we had the luck of getting caught in a huge storm that night. The next morning we woke up half soaked. It was quite funny now that I think about it. Unfortunately, Charles and I didn’t do a very good job of our additions to my brother's tree fort. If you go back to the same tree now, the only thing left is the boards my brother put up! Hehe, oh well. Some of my best memories of Charles are the times we spent playing in that tree.
i have to add to that last comment...I also feel like I see him everywhere. The most incredible time happened in the Amsterdam airport as some friends and I were talking..I happened to look over and I saw the back of a guy with the identical haircut and what looked to be the same leather jacket that Charles had just bought that last semester. when he got up he walked just like him too and when he turned, he had similar features. it was incredibly uncanny but kind of cool in a way. kind of like getting to see him one more time. anyway, that wasn't really a memory specifically of him but since my friends knew him, it led to a sweet time of remembering him.
Ever since he went off to school, I got used to seeing Charles a few times a year. My birthday recently passed; since it is in July, Charles was always around to hang out with me and my other friends wherever it is we decided to celebrate. This past birthday was the first in a while that I didn't get to see him, and it is slowly starting to sink in that he won't be at my future ones, either.
As I mentioned, I had grown accustomed to seeing him sporadically throughout the year. Now, however, I see him everywhere. I always think I catch glimpses of him on the subway, or walking through the mall, or while grocery shopping... I know it isn't him, but the fact that I think I see him shows me how present my memories of him really are in my thoughts, regardless of how aware of them I am.
I don't know exactly how to describe my relationship with Charles; I think that he was a younger brother that I always wanted. I hope that I was the big brother that he might have wanted.
I can't get over how often I think of Charles during a regular work day . It's summer and thats when I would see and work with Charles for an extended period. He was always smiling and ready to help wherever he was needed. Though I have many memories the one that always makes me smile is from last year , summer of 2003. We (at pecialties) were going through some cell phone changes and all the older phones were being phased out with new ones coming in. Charles was constantly finding old phone parts in his office due to everyone and anyone just dropping them off while Charles was out. He was getting mad (as mad as Charles got) about the constant crap that continued to pile up on his desk. SOOOO what I did is collect all the old phone parts and put happy faces on them placing in funny places for Charles to find. He laughed! as usual!
Great kid!!!
I remember in late march, Charles & I & a few of our close friends went to Charleston. He was so concerned that Gisele & I were going to get lost meeting everyone he text messaged every turn to my phone that he & the boys took on the way down there! I believe in all there must of been oh.. 15 messages, all precise with exit numbers! Then later on at dinner, i think our waitress was having a bad night, & Charles cracked a joke which we all thought was funny & was entirely meant to make her smile, but she took it as sarcasm so then Charles made it his mission to win her over by the end of the meal & he did by the time we got our checks she was laughing & smiling along with the rest of the group...that's typical Charles, he cared so much for everyone around him, i hope to be able to exemplfy that care & love to others just as he did. Oh..also on a funny sidenote, we were all at the beach that day, & the boys were cracking on each other & somehow im not sure how they decided that with Charles tan & blond hair he almost looked Austrailian, so by the end of the day all the guys were calling him "The Aussie"..he thought this was pretty funny & over the next week i think the guys stuck to the nickname. Charles told his story of how the only other nickname he had was Chucky B...
i think my most favorite memory of charles was last year at bible conference. it was at the end of the sermon when everyone was standing and the invitation was taking place. i was standing next to charles. the night before in my dorm room my roommate and i had drawn "tattoos" on our stomachs with sharpie pens, and it hadn't come off completely. i was distracted and peeked at my stomach to see how dark the "tattoo" was when i heard someone laughing, but trying to cover it. i looked over at charles and he had his hands over his mouth and he was laughing at me. i don't think that he ever told anyone about that. he was fun to be with that year and i thank the Lord i knew him.
I am reminded of the time up at the Beange family cottage where I made my first attempt at water-skiing. I was only about 13 or 14, and eager but nervous about trying it out. Charles, of course, was behind the wheel of the boat. He waited patiently while Mrs. Beange held my position in the water, then gunned it when we gave the all-clear. It took 7 tries, and a good 30 minutes of patience on Charles' part before I made it up in the water. I will always remember Charles for his patient and caring spirit.
I considered Charles a great friend from the moment I met him at Camp Li-Lo-Li 2 years ago. He was funny, kind, loving and all around a great person to be around. We continued to talk regularly after camp and always happened to be online at the same late hour while either one of us were trying to complete an essay that was due the next day. Charles always was ready to give me advice when I asked for it, have discussions about our faith and offered to be an accountability partner for me when I was having a rough time.
I took the news about Charles pretty hard when I found out the other day considering the fact that I had been thinking about him a lot lately and although he lived in States, I knew he would always be there if I needed to talk to him.
Charles strived for the best and was a light in the world, and for that he will always be my hero.
It has been a three monthes of a variety of emotions and feelings for me. Charles was my 'fill in brother'. I only have two sisters and no blood brother. Even so, I don't think that a stronger bond could have existed that Charles & I shared. We had sooo many adventures and laughs and cries that to think of our years 2gether, it is more than most friends experience in a lifetime, and for that I am so thankful. He was a young christian man who was struggling with many of the same things I do, BUT thru many convos and coffees, we made each other better 4 it. I have not gone through pain and tears like I have with Charles passing on, and @ times I still, after 3 monthes fading away into a memory, I am tugged @ the very core of my being to strive to better the world one person at a time. Every conversation and every meeting I try harder than ever B4 to be a light, just like my brother Charles did. We often times would 'compare notes' on how to reach people; and the sincerity that he possessed in trying to really understand what made someone tick inside was an amazing blessing to me; he had a real gift. He did so because he could better help them in any area they were having difficulty. When I think of Charles today I can't stop being reminded of his servant's heart that just kept on beating. When I am feeling low (which is often the case), I think of him trying to find something to fix, whether a computer or someone's heart in heaven, I can't help but smile and realize that his race is now finished and he ran it as best as he could, and now he is living where there is nothing that needs fixing (and that is driving him crazy I suspect). God has chosen to make him pure and perfect in heaven now, even though that is the way I remember him while he was here on earth.
I have so many memories of Charles. Not so much specific anecdotes but more just the fact that he was always around and every situation couldn't help but have a little bit of Charles in it. I remember Bible Conference happened shortly after I'd met Charles a few years ago at school. Every time I'd show up for a service, Charles would be standing in the same spot...right in front of the middle door of FMA outside. He sat with my friends and I almost every service and that was really when I got to know him well. During one particularly boring service, charles borrowed my pen, pulled half an index card out of his Bible, and spent the service going through his Bible and writing down various and sundry references. At the end of the service he handed me the card. I kind of forgot about it till several weeks later when i was having a rough time with everything and i opened my Bible and out it fell. I looked up every verse and there was something in everyone of them that applied to what i was dealing with. I don't know what possessed Charles to write those down but I've thanked God many times since for putting those verses on his heart. I still have that card and i treasure it even more now.
My favourite memory of Charles is at JIM Club. One year I brought my 1964 Mustang, and Charles spent most of the two weeks we had together, drooling over the car. Everyday he would talk to me about things he could do to the car to "improve" it. I was afraid to leave camp and not take the car, for fear I would come back and find an "improved" and more muscular version of the car, and Charles standing beside it with a big smile on his face.
We miss him here at camp. We continue to pray.
Charles abosolutely loved his family and telling stories of all his families adventures. I remember thinking hes been to more states than i have and im from SC! One in particular sticks out, I am just finishing up my families trip to Yellowstone and i felt as if i already knew the park from hearing Charles talk about how incredible his trip was...his eyes just lit up and he cracked that smile of his when he talked about his families awesome trip to the park.
I am at my neighbours looking at your web site. Your love for Charles shows so well in this tribute. I can't imagine how much you miss him. It may seem like a strange comment but Charles' service was absolutely beautiful. His joy of living and his complete faith in his salvation was very real.
Norman, I don't know Polly and your children that well, however your enthusiasm for life has been a part of you for as long as I have known you.I hope that you don't loose that and count each day as a blessing and let the sun shine on your face....embrace it, Charles would expect no less of you!
Your extended family care about you and think of you often ( I talk to Aunt Maria regularly as well as William and Debra who both live here in Barrie).
When you are ready to come to Manitoulin let family know. Company will help.
I am off work now as I had surgury June 7th, but am doing much better. I am going to the Island July 1st with my son Scott and will be there for about 2 weeks.
If you just need to talk, please call...be gentle with yourselves.
Love Penny
Charles was and incredibly thoughtful and generous gift-giver. During my first year of university, Charles gave me the perfect Thermos coffee mug for school, because he had seen others use them in class and knew that I'd enjoy something hot to drink in class. Another Christmas, he gave my mom a gift certificate to a tanning salon. I loved his generous heart.
Charles was always such a laugh. I have fond memories of him. My brother and he were close friends growing up - being such we saw him grow up almost as part of our family. I can (somewhat) remember one night... I have no idea what time it was as I had gone to bed early. My sister was still up. Charles and my brother got home and of course Charles has to come down to say hello. He talks to my sister, knocks on my door and when gets no answer walks in and flicks on my light and sits down and starts to talk to me as if I had been awake all along!! He wasn’t doing it to be a pain in the butt he just wanted to make sure he got his chance to say hello. It's a silly little thing but those are the things I miss most about him.
If fifth grade was the best six years of your life or if you think a drive through the car wash is an amusement ride you just may be a red neck. Charles and I sat on the step leading from the hall to the den at 35 Boyd a couple of years ago bellowing and crying with laughter. If you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture, if you borrow chewing tobacco from your wife or if you think it’s easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it, then you might have cause to ponder whether or not you’re a redneck. We were both back in Canada at the same time. Having lived down south, Charles and I shared a respect and a love for the people of the south as well as an appreciation for the caricatures known as redneck jokes. Charles sat down beside me with a book filled with Jeff Foxworthy humour. Once we started laughing at one, the next one would throw fuel on the fire until we were laughing at the most stupid and inane of the jokes. If you think high quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug zapper or if a billboard saying, “SAY NO TO CRACK” reminds you to pull up your jeans then you probably are a redneck. Charles laughed at the quirks of others in the same affable way he laughed at himself. There was no air of superiority or arrogance in him and he didn’t suffer it in anyone else. He might think you a redneck if you stare at an orange juice container because it says, ”concentrate”. The people around him liked to laugh with him. I know I did. I can hear that laugh still. It echoes from beyond the veil. It reminds me to smile.
My first memory of Charles was going downtown to a software training course. I work at Specialties however, I started as a part time student while in university. It was the summer and Norm had myself and Charles signed up for class but before I went Norm sat me down in his office and told me that Charles and I had to take the TTC together because Charles was grounded from driving - no surprise. His father went on to tell me to keep a close eye on Charles because he wasn't used to the TTC and since he was home schooled, he wasn't sure how Charles would react in a classroom setting. Well the following Monday I went to the subway station and waited for Charles. In my mind I expected someone less mature and awkward because of the way Norm described Charles. Well to my delight Charles was nothing like what I thought he was going to be, in fact he was quite fun to be with, we got to know each other on the subway and ended up finishing the course in two hours but we still had four more days to go. We ended up helping the teacher teach others so the course would go as scheduled.
I think one of my best memories of Charles is one where we were driving back from the family cottage. We had stopped at a gas station and Charles had run in to get drinks and snacks for the drive home. I remember him coming back and handing out the snacks. He then handed me a bottle of spring water-- I was shocked that he had remembered that I am a health nut and that is exactly what I would have picked for myself had I gone in to the store.
Norm, it has been 37 years since I last saw you and I would have addressed this to both you and your wife, but I only knew you as a single man. I was contacted by Mac Peterson who informed me of the home-going of Charles. I cannot comprehend the loss of a child (I have 3, all grown up) but I know God well enough to realize that He makes no mistakes. I join you in your sorrow and pray that our God will presence Himself with your whole family as you continue to serve and trust the very same One Who was willing to give His only Son that we may live. May this seed falling into the ground produce much fruit for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.
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All started with what I thought it was a joke: one day somebody told me “that machinery was fixed by owner’s son” and I answered “yah right!” I came in Canada from Romania with a totally different image of an “owner’s son”. I discovered that Charles was different from that image: he didn’t take any advantage or try to stay away from hard jobs, very popular, eager to help everyone and definitely skilful with a god mind for business (he knew every thing from where to get the parts, which contractor was the best for company etc). We got along very well from the very first time. We talked a lot about different topics: music (we even changed cd), schools/university, religion, society, sport, and languages. By the way I nagged him a lot in front of the shop’s board with questions regarding the meaning, the spelling, and the pronunciation of English words. After he went to university we kept the touch. Last time when I spoke with him, one month before he passed, I invited him to us and he was joking saying he’ll come only if my wife will cook some traditional food. He was a little upset because he couldn’t go in Toronto to see a concert with one of his favourite band. I hope you can listen them in heaven.
I’m still hoping one of this days he’ll show up with the cap on his head, having the coffee in his hand, walking fast down on the aisle, complaining about a lack of sleep, eventually asking “what we’ve got to do/fix today?”
Norm ,
After Mac told me about your son I had to just write and say how sorry I am. I never knew your son but I just thought I'd drop you a line . From reading some of the other information here I can see you have that eternal hope because of his life. Bless you and your family .
Charles, my 20 question shadow for many years while growing up in the summers of Muskoka. Happy, smiling, energetic, exasperating....but what a man he grew into.....I miss his daily presence and that he won't be coming back....but it is really like he never left. We see his hand prints, footprints in business, the family, church, school and our lives each day.
Enjoy Glory Charles.....we'll be along in no time at all.
It's summer, and thoughts are of Charles. Normally he would be here at Specialties Graphic Finishers working away at all the things that needed fixing, on all the things we saved for him because we knew he would give it his all and " his all " was pretty amazing.If it was something he couldn't repair himself ( which was rare )he knew where to go to get it done. At any given time he would be up on the roof, or at the parts cleaning machine, or he would be taking something apart and puting it back together again. His desk would be littered with machine parts and quotes he had received and business cards. He did so much here, including ordering parts, picking them up, taking things to the machine shop, hacking down weeds, building a gate..... the list goes on.No matter what was needed Charles was always there, and always with that beautiful smile.And did I mention air condioning? Only Charles looked after that ! But now......his office is dark, his desk is clean - It's summer - and Charles is greatly missed.
One of my favourite pictures is of a little five year old girl in an armchair, with her arm wrapped around a chubby seven month old baby boy seated in her lap, his legs and arms just waving, the way babies do. She has her head bent over his ear like she was whispering some secret. What was I telling this new baby cousin of mine?
It was Tuesday, January 13,1998, Norm and I were getting ready to fly to Tunisia. Ah! but we needed a ride to Pearson International. Wouldn`t that be a good opening to give Charles some driving experience,test his parents` nerves,show Mac that the oldest son was getting ready to spread his wings and fly( within the speed limit on the ground of course)? He drove. Can still see the look on his face as he cruised along with the confidence of an experienced driver . Seemed like he had driven for years instead of months. Granted, I was a little uneasy upon learning that Norm or Pauline wouldn`t be driving, but trusting their better judgement,got into the car without comment. About 10 minutes away from the house,realized this young fellow knew what he was doing, where he was going and was enjoying operating this tin lizzie in and out of traffic with ease and delight. Charles had passed the test with this Calgarian, got us to the airport in good time uneventfully, kind of like a walk in the park. Good drivers have a way of doing that. Glad to have that memory thanks to Charles.
I guess that each of us grieve in different ways, but as the reality of Charles' departure to heaven sinks in, I am constantly encouraged by the testimony his life has been to all around him. Over the past six weeks, I have met dozens and dozens of people who knew Charles, and I am impacted by the fact that they all say the same thing...he accepted everyone, and made them feel as though they were the most important person in the room. I love that. I hope I could live out a quality like that in my life.
I smile each time I think of Charles, and thse memories might seem strange to you, but as a father myself,I had the priviledge to see him grow up. From an early age, Charles came into the plant, never far from Dad.He was always very quiet,and was soon seated somewhere to read or do some homework.At a later stage, we would often see him with Dad again, this time being told how a machine worked, or how something was broken or even how something was fixed.A while later, you could see him carrying out small errands for Dad, getting hold of this person or that, or doing this job or that.Soon Charles was working in our maintenance dept. tearing a machine apart to clean or fix. Dad was still never far away, and Charles could always be found updating Dad on a repair or a problem or discussing a new project. You could see the growth and development in him as he got older. He had a good sense of humour, a great sense of mechanical aptitude, and a willingness to tackle any job. He would talk with all of us, never as employees of his father, but as equals. He could take our ribbing him when something he fixed one day, needed to be fixed again the next day.We never spoke this, but we expected to see Charles take over from his father some day. I would have liked to see that.
I remember it was in March Charles & i were babysitting at a church in Greenville, & i had to run next door, to walk the smaller children over & i handed him the baby, patrick hes about oh i'd say 7 months old. I asked Charles "Are you sure you can handle him & are you ok with holding him until i return & he huffed "of course!" So i left & returned, i thought i heard the baby crying & i ran to see what had happened only to realize it was the baby giggling & cooing because Charles was twirling him around up & down making airplane noises! I think Patrick was a fan of Charles after that he wouldnt even let me hold him! Charles just loved that he was like see I told you i could handle him!
Charles came over to our house a lot this last half a year and would catch me and my sister or brother watching a movie. He would love to just sit down right in the middle of the couch and like lean over and ask what was going on. Then after he found out would keep talking and talking and talking. That's not how our family did it so after about 10-20 questions I would sum up the movie in about 10 words. Then instead of being content with that...he would debate me and ask me all these other questions on why I thought the movie was filmed that way. Then at the end thank me for ruining the film for him!
Norm, Pauline, Julia, Natalie, James,
We are still praying for you, and will continue to.
Reading of Allison's story reminded me of the time when Charles was about 12 and wanted to sleep outside in the winter. We built a little igloo in the backyard and dug out the center. So Charles bundled himself up and got all his gear and stayed out there-it was such a big thing for him! Mind you, he did come inside in the early morning, but I think he was pretty happy anyways!
One of my favorite memories was this past Febuary, im from the beach in S.C. so, i'd never really seen much snow. In front of Charles apt. in Greenvile we decided to build a snowman, he was like "ok allison go ahead let me see how they build them at the beach" with that big grin of his. So, i began patting the snow together & of course he let me "try!" he was like "No, this is how you do it" & we began rolling the snow we had this huge snowman followed by a snowfight..
To choose just one memory... that is a very difficult thing to do. I guess that my favourite memory is of the massive fire Charles and I had at the Beange's cottage a few years back. That was the biggest fire we ever made... special thanks to Mrs. Beange, for suggesting we burn all those bushes you had removed. As the fire roared and the flames soared into the sky Charles and I sat and admired our work. We talked till the early morning about life, our aspirations and fears, our faith, how to get where we wanted to be, and everything else that came to mind. That nite was one of my favourite memories of the time I was so lucky to spend with Charles.
Wow...one of my favourite memories of Charles was when us four kids worked on blazing a snowmobile trail through the forest at our cottage. We've been working on it for the past two years. James and Charles sawed out every tree and branch that they could, and Natalie and I would haul it all away. We'd all be deep in the forest, and we had so much fun getting hot and dirty together. It was Charles' idea, and he'd always be excited to work on it together.
The purpose of this message forum is to provide a community for those who knew Charles Beange. Please feel free to share any stories, favourite memories or comments. In order to participate, all you have to do is click on the ‘Post New Message’ button, type in your message, and finally, click on the ‘Submit’ button.
On a personal level, I remember Charles as a good friend and amazing individual who has accomplished so much over the years. Not only was he encircled in many of his own illustrious qualities, he boasted a heart of gold that won’t soon be forgotten for many years to come.